Forever and Beyond
by Kora
Summary: this is a story spun-off of jel's two awesome stories ARS and AN. what happens when you suddenly see your best friend in an entirely new light?
1. Chapter 1

Hey! Kora here. My friend Kelly and I present Forever and Beyond, our first joint-work story.  
  
Right now we just wanna give some serious props to the totally awesome Jel, who in her super  
  
cool kindness has allowed us to write this story. See, our story uses the storyline from her two  
  
fantastic stories: "A Revealed Secret" and "Act Naturally." If you haven't read those two yet, go  
  
read them! Scoot! Then come back and read this. Now, Jel's writing is just totally amazing, and  
  
she inspired Kelly and I to write something, we did, got her permission, and now you see  
  
"Forever and Beyond" here before you. Hope you enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: All the characters in this story except for Meredith Sydney and Julianna McConnell  
  
belong to Disney. Please don't sue us, we have no money, though I do have bunches of sugar  
  
*grins*. Meredith belongs to Jel, and Julianna belongs to me'n Kelly. Oh and the song "hanging  
  
by a moment" that's in the one letter is written by/belongs to Lifehouse. Please don't sue us for  
  
that, either. Thanks!  
  
Now go read and review, pwease?  
  
Forever and Beyond  
  
By Kora and Kelly  
  
Gerry, Alan, and Julianna grew up together. Their parents would sit on a back porch and talk  
  
while their children ran around in diapers in the backyard. When school started, they sat on the  
  
bus together and next to each other in classes. There was nothing that could tear the three apart.  
  
Julianna may as well have been one of the guys, for she was a tomboy. This was most likely due  
  
to the fact that she was an only child whose mother had died when Julianna was about a year old,  
  
due to complications from childbirth. So it was no wonder that Julie, as she was called during her  
  
youngest years, soon insisted that she be "J", making her name sound no different than one of the  
  
guys'. But this isn't where our story begins. Our story begins a little over ten years later, the  
  
summer when it is declared that the schools are to be integrated into T.C. Williams.   
  
By then, J was Alan and Gerry's younger sister, of whom they were fiercely protective, especially  
  
Gerry. From first glance, you knew that J was a different girl. It was 1971 and J's wardrobe still  
  
consisted of many tie-dyed shirts and bell bottom jeans. She let her hair hang loose, wild, and free.  
  
Others called her hippie—she called herself Californian. J loved Californian culture—she absorbed  
  
it. She loved the music, the food (she became a vegetarian at the age of 12) and it was her dream  
  
to one day ride the backs of the Pacific Ocean waves.   
  
J was a very musical person, able to play instrument, her favorites being the (acoustic) guitar and  
  
the piccolo. She wrote and played her own music, and forced anyone near to listen to her newest  
  
composition. J was no stranger to sports, either. Often you would find J over at the Yoast's house  
  
with the rest of the guys, screaming at them while they tackled each other and almost always  
  
joining in the tussle, even if uninvited. Yes, J loved football as much as the other guys. This must  
  
have been part of the reason why Sheryl (Yoast) looked up to J so much. In J, Sheryl saw whom  
  
she wanted to be when she was in high school. But enough of that. We still haven't gotten to the  
  
actual story yet.  
  
***  
  
After Gerry was done on talking on the phone to Emma one night, he got in line next to Alan.  
  
"You calling J?" he asked.   
  
"Yeah," replied Alan. A smile tugged at his lips, "who else am I gonna call, my dad? You know  
  
that he and I aren't on the best of terms. And all of my friends except J are here. You wanna talk  
  
to her?"  
  
"Of course. Gotta see how little sister is doing." Alan laughed. By then, it was his turn at the  
  
phone. He absentmindedly punched in J's number.   
  
"Hey," he said when she picked up.   
  
"Alan! Hi! How you doing? Gerry's standing right beside you, isn't he?" Alan laughed again,  
  
"Yeah, he is. Wanna talk to him?"  
  
"Sure." Alan handed the phone to Gerry.  
  
"Hey lil' sis,"  
  
"Hey big bro! So Gerry, you just get off the phone with Em-mma?" J drew out the girl's name  
  
teasingly.   
  
"Yeah, you wanna make something of it?" answered Gerry jokingly.   
  
"I think I do! Meet me in the back lot at 5 and we'll settle this."  
  
"Alright, 5 it is. Be there not a minute later and prepare to get beat down."  
  
"Wouldn't miss it for the world."  
  
"Okay, okay, kids, that's enough," Alan took the phone from Gerry just as Gerry managed to  
  
shout,  
  
"Bye J!" into the phone.   
  
"See ya soon, Gerry," J giggled. "Alan, you're such a party-pooper." Alan could hear the fake  
  
pout in J's voice. Her tone quickly turned mischievous, "you wanna help me beat Gerry? I could  
  
do it on my own no question, but it'll be fun!" Alan rolled his eyes but grinned,  
  
"You're worse that Louie."   
  
"Louie? A new friend from the team? Cool! I gotta meet him. Got any more new friends? I wanna  
  
meet all of them. So how's camp going?"  
  
"Ugh, Coach Boone's running us ragged. And now he's converted Coach Yoast to his Camp of  
  
Pain method."  
  
"Aww, poor baby. I'll bet it's not that bad, either. It's a good thing Sheryl's there, she's supposed  
  
to make sure all you guys are kept on your toes for me. If I was there, I'd show all you wussies  
  
what football players are supposed to look like."  
  
"Oh yeah, you'd overshadow us all," quipped Alan.  
  
"Aw, shut up. You're just saying that because you're bored because I'm not there." Alan laughed,  
  
"Alright, I get it. I miss you too. And I've gotta go because there's a line of guys waiting for the  
  
phone."  
  
"Oh, I see how it is. You can't take any more criticism, you just wanna get rid of me. Well, I love  
  
you too, Alan."  
  
"Haha, love you too, J. Bye." Alan hung up the phone with a click. He trudged back to his room  
  
and flopped on his bunk with a weary sigh. He gradually drifted off to sleep trying to get J out of  
  
his mind.  
  
***  
  
After the "coming together" of the team at football camp, Gerry, Alan, Julius, and the other guys  
  
would talk a lot about their lives "back home." Julius, Rev, Petey, and later Sunshine, were  
  
subject to hearing story after story, praise after praise, about the third half of Gerry and Alan's  
  
trio: J. Seeing as how Alan and Gerry unwittingly never described J using words such as "she" or  
  
"her", everyone who didn't know McConnell—as she was occasionally called, since it was her last  
  
name—was in the dark as too who, precisely, J was.  
  
When the bus pulled into the parking lot as the team was returning from camp, J was there  
  
waiting. Alan and Gerry promptly pointed her out to the others, who immediately exclaimed,  
  
"Jay's a girl?"  
  
***  
  
Ronnie liked her from the moment he saw her. Stepping out of the bus, he caught sight of a girl in  
  
wide-mouthed jeans and a purple tie-dyed t-shirt. Her shoulder length auburn-red hair had a  
  
natural perm that most of the girls he knew in California longed for. When Ronnie found out  
  
exactly whom the girl he saw was, he liked her even more, for now he knew about her  
  
personality.  
  
J loved sports, music, and was quick to accept other cultures and new things/ways of thinking.  
  
Unlike Emma and most of the other girls in Alexandria, J was glad to meet Julius, Petey, Rev, and  
  
her two "brother's" new friends from the team. 'She's just like the girls back home,' Ronnie  
  
inwardly sighed.   
  
***  
  
It was right when the football season started that things got really bad with Fred Bosley and his  
  
son. The abuse got even worse when Alan was benched. Alan never let on, though. He thought no  
  
one noticed, but he was wrong.  
  
One night, Alan was hanging out with the others at a restaurant. He was sitting in a booth with his  
  
sketch pad and a pencil, creating a near-exact image of J, who was unbeknownst of the fact that  
  
she was the subject of her best friend's creativity. Truth was, she had been the center of his  
  
portraits for awhile now.   
  
J was sitting out of Alan's earshot with Sunshine, though she was watching Alan.   
  
"Does he draw a lot?" Sunshine asked.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"He any good at it?"  
  
"He's awesome. At least, the stuff that I've seen has been amazing. He used to show me  
  
everything that he did. But recently…" J trailed off. After a pause, Sunshine quietly questioned,  
  
"Something going on between you two?" J chewed on her lip, her hazel eyes troubled.  
  
"Not really. But that's the problem. We don't hang out as much anymore. Neither do me'n Gerry,  
  
but that's 'cause Gerry's hanging out with Julius a lot, and I don't mind that. I'm hanging out with  
  
other people a lot too. But it's not just that with Alan. Lately, I feel like he's been drawing away.  
  
Not just from me, but from everyone. I know something's going on, I can feel it. But he just tells  
  
me that everything's fine. Why doesn't he tell me what's really wrong? He's my best friend. We're  
  
supposed to tell each other everything; we used to tell each other everything." J broke off and  
  
studied the floor intently. Sunshine put his hand on her shoulder comfortingly, showing his  
  
support as her friend.  
  
From the other side of the room, Alan put the finishing touches on J's picture—a portrait of what  
  
she had looked like a little earlier. She was in mid-laughter, nose slightly wrinkled in amusement.  
  
He looked up to see her with Sunshine's hand on her shoulder. He felt his heart wrench in pain.  
  
Gerry glimpsed over to see Alan's finished work, then glanced up and saw the anguished look on  
  
Alan's face. "You really like her, don't you?" he commented softly. Without taking his eyes from J,  
  
Alan answered,  
  
"No. I love her." 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Alan trudged home, mind in turmoil.He hade told Gerry that he loved J.This was the first time that he had said this thought, either aloud to himself.Now he was analyzing this feeling, checking to see if it was real.Did he love her?As his best friend, there was no doubt.But the other way…?

He had known her all his life.J was the one person that could make him laugh to matter what was going on—not even Gerry could do that.Just the thought of J—her brightness, openness, zest for life—lifted his spirits.He wanted to tell her more than anything what was going on with his father, but that would worry her.The one thing that Alan refused to do was let anything hurt J.He knew well that she could take full care of herself, but Alan didn't want to let her know anything that might cause her pain.And Alan was sure that if J knew that he was being beaten by his father, she would be very upset.

Then there was this other feeling, the one that he couldn't quite place.It was one that hadn't always been there; Alan had first been aware of its presence a couple months ago.But now he realized that it had been creeping upon him for about a year now.So did all of this mean that he loved J?

Alan reached his house and stared at the doorknob, wanting to delay the inevitable for just a few more moments.What did it matter, she didn't love him, not that way anyway.It was Sunshine that she was interested in.Taking a deep breath, Alan walked up to his house and went inside.

***

About a week or so later, J was heading home from a piano lesson.Her mind was not on Bach, however.It was on Alan.He'd been much more quiet than usual lately, and he'd also come to school with assortments of bruises and cuts.J knew that something was going on, and she wasn't the only one.She had gone to Coach (Yoast) and he shared her concerns.But he said that there wasn't much that they could do if Alan wouldn't say anything.

J paused in her brisk walk.Something was wrong.Very wrong.J took off in a dead sprint for Alan's house.Since she was close, it didn't take her long to reach it.She dashed up and pounded on the door, but there was no answer.J hurled the door open (thankfully it was unlocked) and raced up to Alan's room.The next few minutes were a surreal blur.

There stood Fred Bosley, standing frozen in the center of the room, staring at Coaches Boone and Yoast.Boone was on his way out of the room (to call an ambulance), and he tried to tell J something, but she didn't hear.All she could focus on was Alan.He lay on the floor, battered and unmoving except for the slight rise and fall of his chest.Yoast was beside him, checking Alan over for all his injuries.

"Now, J, try to stay calm.Coach Boone and I are handling things—"But J would have none of it.She heard herself scream

"Alan!" before flinging herself next to him and sobbing.Boone and Yoast took care of the rest.

***

Alan searched the crowd around his hospital bed, but didn't see J._'She must be mad at me for not telling her,' he thought with a heavy heart.He talked to everyone for awhile, but soon they had to leave.It was just him and Coach (Yoast) in the room.When Coach told Alan about his mother, Alan was too shocked and tired to reply very much.Coach glanced at his watch,_

"I should be going," Alan nodded,

"Alright."Coach turned to go, but right before leaving, turned back.

"J has been by your side ever since she found you. The paramedics practically   
had to pry her away from your stretcher so they could put you in the ambulance. They wouldn't let her ride with you.It made her very upset.She has been beating down doctors for updates every few hours."Finished, Coach left, and Alan turned his head to see her.She was half sitting in a chair next to him, half lying on the bed beside him, fast asleep.When Alan twisted his body, wincing in pain, to get a better look at her, she stirred and woke.Upon seeing Alan awake, she exclaimed,

"Alan!You're up!" and hugged him.The tawny-haired youth was amazed at how enthusiastic J was to see him, yet so gentle and mindful of his injuries in the embrace.

"Hey, J," Alan said when she released him.

"Hey Alan.How are you feeling?"Alan grinned,

"Better.Sore and stiff, but better.I can't believe it—Coach found my Mom!My father said that she was dead, but she isn't!I'm gonna get to see her soon, and I'm gonna live with her!"J smiled,

"Yeah, I heard.That's great."But the smile never quite reached J's eyes.Alan sobered, 

"What's wrong, J?"The hazel eyed youth paused before answering.When she did speak, Alan could hear the hurt in her voice and see it in her eyes.

"Why didn't you tell us, Alan?We could have helped you so much sooner, then you wouldn't be here, in a hospital."Her chin quivered, "you scared me to death.I knew something was wrong, I could sense it.Then there you were…lying in your own blood.So still that for a second I thought you were dead…before I saw you breathe.I've never been more scared in my life."J broke off as a few tears spilled through her eyes.Alan gingerly wrapped his arms around her, then relaxed as she softly lay her head (mindful of any bruises) on his shoulder.

After a moment, Alan could feel tears leak onto his (hospital) gown."I'm so sorry, J.I don't know what I was thinking.I just…I didn't want to worry anyone, especially you.I know that it sounds dumb considering the circumstances, but that's what I was thinking.And I know that you're especially upset that I didn't tell you.I…I just didn't want you to worry.I know that you'd be hurt that I didn't tell you from the beginning, and…"

J pulled away so that she could face Alan properly."I understand.You didn't want to talk about it.Most people don't when they're being…well, I was hurt, but I understand and forgive you."Alan bit the inside of his check as a weight lifted from his shoulders, though there was still a heavy feeling inside his chest."But you have to promise to tell me if anything like this happens again."J's eyes were serious."Anything that really hurts you, you have to tell me about."Alan met J's gaze,

"I will."J nodded,

"Alright."She got up."Now you need rest.I'll be back to see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay."

***

The day after Alan came home from the hospital, J stopped by to visit him.Alan answered the door.

"J!Hi!Come in!"J smiled and hugged Alan, then followed him inside.

"Hey Alan.How are you doing?"All of a sudden, Alan's mother burst into the room.

"I heard the door—who's this?I thought I told you that you needed to rest today."Alan stammered as he explained,

"This is J, Mom.She's my best friend along with Gerry."Alan's mother squinted at J, her face slowly giving way to slight recognition.

"My, my…could this be the Julie that Alan used to play with?"J winced at the name Julie.

"Yes I am, Ms. Sydney.But please, call me J."Ms. Sydney was appalled,

"Whatever for?Julianna is a beautiful name.I do not understand why you prefer something as coarse and masculine as 'J'."Alan began to get a headache.There his mother went again.He knew that he wouldn't be able to explain J to his mother with her prissy ways."And you used to be so pretty.What happened?And why are you wearing such clothing?"

J stiffened.Alan knew that it was taking every fiber of her self-control to not explode at his mother.J had a short temper, especially when it had something to do with her tomboyish-ness.J closed her eyes and released a shaky breath.Opening her eyes again, she stated,

"I'm sorry for bothering you, Ms. Sydney.I just wanted to stop by and see how Alan is doing.And you're right, he should be resting.I really should be going now."She opened the front door, which squeaked a little in protest (perhaps remembering how violently it had been opened by the same hand only a week earlier) and left.

Alan watched J's retreating figure through the window until she disappeared.His mother turned to go back into the kitchen."Interesting girl.I don't think that you should see her anymore."A claw of ice gripped Alan's heart,

"What?But Mom, she's my best friend!"

"Well, she's not a proper young lady and I don't think that she has a good influence on you."Alan swallowed a growing lump in his throat,

"But—"

"No buts," Alan's mother commanded as she walked away."You are not to see her anymore.End of discussion."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The following day at school, Alan avoided J as much as possible.Which was hard, seeing as how they had 3 classes and lunch together.It tore Alan apart not to talk to J, but he wouldn't be able to talk to her without telling her, and he still couldn't figure out how to tell her that his mother forbid him to have any sort of contact with J.By the end of school, however, J was tired of being ignored by her best friend and tired of guessing at why.She cornered Alan at his locker.

"Why have you been avoiding me all day?" she demanded.Alan stuffed his books in his locker, evading her eyes.

"I'm not supposed to," he mumbled.J's forehead wrinkled in confusion and frustration.

"Not supposed to?What does that mean?"Alan made no reply, slamming his locker shut and zipping up his backpack.J reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Alan, stop and look at me!" she nearly shouted.Alan looked up to eyes full of fear, fear that deepened when she saw his own pain-filled eyes."Alan, what's going on?" she whispered."She's not…is she?"Alan licked his lips, frantically searching for a way to say what he needed to say without making J mad.Finally, he gave up.There was no way.

"I'm not supposed to see you anymore.That's what my mother said." he replied softly.J's eyes widened in shock, 

"What?!Why?!What?!"Her yell echoed in the empty hallway.Curious attendees of after school activities and teachers on detention duty poked their heads out of classrooms to see what the disturbance was.J blushed, "sorry," she said sheepishly."We're having a discussion."Students snickered and teachers clucked disapprovingly as they returned to whatever they had been doing.Alan rubbed his fingertips over his temples as J turned back to him, features insisting for an explanation.

"She doesn't think that you're a 'proper young lady', and therefore you must have a bad influence on me, apparently."Alan shrugged as J's eyes flashed, but he cut her off before she could snap some sort of angry retort."Look, my mom's just weird about these kinda things.I figure just give it time, and she'll get used to everything, and it'll all be normal, okay?"he promised wearily.J adjusted her backpack as her jaw set out stubbornly halfway—as a sign that she was going to relent but not like it one bit.

"Alright.So no hanging out on weekends or after school.But," she jabbed Alan's chest with her finger, "I'm not gonna let you ignore me in school.AND this is just temporary, short term.You got that?And if ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING else happens that bothers you, you tell me about it."Alan nodded, giving J a small smile, which seemed to calm her down.

J picked Alan's backpack up off the floor and handed it to him."Now scoot.You're late for football practice, and if I don't run, I'll be late for piano."Alan's grin widened as he ran off down the hallway._'Maybe things are going to work out after all,' he thought.Back at his locker, J stood, thinking as well.Only her musings were less optimistic than Alan's._

***

A few days later, right after Alan was banned from football by his mother, he caught word that Sunshine had asked J to dinner Friday, and she accepted.The date was very casual, and she'd gone on such before, but it was devastating to Alan.When he'd first found out, the world had stopped moving.The previous month's events flew through his mind like a speeding train:

On the phone with her at camp, then falling asleep plagued by her voice and image.Watching her grow closer to Sunshine while he (Alan) spectated in a world of unspeakable pain.The realization that he loved her, his best friend.Hearing her voice in a fuzzy, dreamlike way as he lay on his bedroom floor, drifting into unconsciousness.Finally, his mother not allowing him to see J, the girl that he loved but who would never love him back…at least not that way.

Now, the train crashed, and exploded into an universe of pain that he never thought possible.His mother had taken football and J away, and now, in a sense, J had taken herself even further away.Alan wondered what was left.

***

J sat on her porch after the date.Nothing.She felt nothing.Sunshine had dropped her off an hour ago.Nothing.The date had been fun, a lot of fun.But it was as if she had gone out on a date with a friend.Like with Gerry or something.Now J was completely and utterly baffled.She had thought that she liked Sunshine.She had thought that she was going to feel something, anything, tonight.She had felt nothing.

J could have sworn that there was some sort of attraction between her and Sunshine.He was the epitome of all her Californian dreams, and she reminded him of the girls back home.J got up and scuffed her foot on the old wooden porch floor.Something, some emotion, was preventing her from feeling anything besides friendship towards Sunshine.But for the life of her, she couldn't figure out what it was.

Sighing, J flopped back down onto her porch swing.Her thoughts drifted back to Alan.Something was wrong with him.He was acting normal, but she could tell that he was hiding something.Well, one thing was for sure, J didn't like or trust his mother one bit, and it had nothing to do with Miss Sydney not being all that fond of J.J made an aggravated noise in her throat as she flung herself up from the swing, ready to defy any obstacle in her way.That was it!Tomorrow she was confronting Alan, and she wouldn't leave till he told her the truth about what was going on.

Somewhat satisfied, J relaxed a little, so she headed inside the house to prepare for bed.

***

J never got the chance.Alan somehow kept away from her for the entire day, and she couldn't find him after school.That was the same afternoon that Sunshine discovered the cut on Alan's head.Later that night, Sunshine showed up at J's door."It's Alan," he said.J felt her face go pale as she gripped the door for stability.

"Let me get my coat."

***

J observed him lying there, stir, and wake up.She saw everyone welcome him back to consciousness.And gradually her mixture of relief and worry melted into anger.It was like leaving an ice cube on the sidewalk on a hot day.Soon she was burning up, and if you asked, she'd tell you that her face was as red as her hair.Slowly, the team and both coaches trickled out of the room, leaving J standing there.

Alan watched her from his bed.Now he knew what prisoners must have felt as they were being led to their deaths, those heart-sickening seconds as they gazed into the hooded face of their executioner.J was about to blow, and Alan knew it."Uh, J, let me explain—"J's eyes were fire as she furiously clenched and unclenched her fists.

"Explain?I don't see what there is too explain!You lied to me!You said that you would tell me if ANYTHING like this happened again, and you didn't!I trusted you and you lied to me!"Alan inched backwards in his bed, knowing it was safer to not interrupt J or suffer her wrath.J began pacing back and forth in front of the bed.

"Your mother was ruining your life and you pretended that it didn't bother you.You pushed all your friends away, avoided me," with each point, J ticked off a finger as a number."You didn't tell me ANY of this, which you should have no matter what, but the fact that you told me that you would let me know if anything was bothering you, then you didn't...I can't believe you!And then your mother started hurting you—admittedly not as bad as your father, but still…" Then, for a second, J stopped pacing and all her anger was gone.It was replaced by a wellspring of hurt.Feelings of betrayal.

"Sunshine said that you threatened suicide."Her chin shook and her voice took on a shaky tone, "is that what you were going to do?Go and kill yourself and maybe leave me some stupid 'I'm sorry, goodbye' letter?I thought that I was your best friend.I thought that best friends meant more to each other than that."Once again, anger fought it's way back onto J's face, blazed in her eyes, and clung to her voice.Alan shifted uncomfortably in his bed as he braced himself for the next onslaught.

"But I guess not.I guess you don't consider me your best friend.I still care about you as my friend, but I'm not gonna keep working at this friendship if you don't care."With that, J stomped out of the room with one final smoldering glare sent Alan's way.Alan slumped back in his bed, a stabbing pain in his chest._'So this is what a broken heart feels like,' he thought._

***

It didn't take as long for Alan to heal as it did the first time.When Coach Yoast got up in front of everyone and announced that he was adopting Alan, J stood amidst the applause.She walked right up to Coach and hugged him tightly."Thank you," she whispered.However, though J was relieved that Alan would finally have a real father and a safe home, she was still mad at him.

The next day at school, it was J who ignored Alan.The youth knew that it was hopeless to try and talk to her, so instead, he wrote. He wrote a letter to J, pouring out his thoughts, feelings, and apologies.Yet, when he was finished, it still wasn't quite complete.Alan did not know how to tell J what he truly felt for her.

***

It was the middle of the night and Alan couldn't sleep.Coach said that it was because he was still getting used to his new surroundings, but Alan knew the real reason.It was J.She had unknowingly stuffed visions of herself in his mind's eye; her voice and laughter echoed in his ears.Giving up on sleep, Alan crept out of his bed and flicked on the light.Grabbing a pen and paper, he began to write.

The following day, Alan woke up early in order to catch J before classes.She headed towards her locker, with an exasperated face upon seeing him."What do you want, Alan?"Alan held up his note.

"Read this J, please.Hate me if you want when you're done, but please read this."J rolled her eyes,

"Oh, alright, fine," she said with a sigh.She grabbed the letter and shoved it in her pants pocket."Now if you would excuse me, I have to meet someone before first class."

***

J didn't speak to Alan for the rest of the day.Deep down she knew that she was being harsh, but her temper and pride kept her from doing otherwise.That night, she tossed and turned in her bed, counted sheep, even drank warm milk, but slumber continued to elude her.J had the nagging sense that she was forgetting something, something important.

Sitting up in bed, J gazed around her room.Sticking out of her hamper were her jeans.Remembering Alan's note, J walked over and pulled out the folded papers."Can't hurt to read it," she said to herself.J opened the note and read.

Dear J:

I'm so sorry.So unbelievably sorry.I didn't mean to hurt you.I would never do anything purposefully to hurt you in my right mind.I really don't know what came over me.I didn't want anyone to worry about me, and I didn't want anyone treating me like I was made of glass.I guess that's something that my parents left me with—not being allowed to show anyone any weakness.I was scared to tell you because I knew how you'd react.The only reason I told Sunshine anything was because he just happened to be there.

As for threatening suicide…I don't know what came over me.I don't know what I was thinking and I don't know what I would have done.I just know that I felt like I had nothing left.My mother took away the only two things in life that I cared about: football/the team and you.I felt…I don't know…but J, when she told me that I couldn't see you anymore, it was like the world around me crumbled.

You said earlier that I don't see you as a best friend and that I don't care about our friendship.I know that it wasn't obvious from the way that I acted, but nothing could be further from the truth.J, our friendship means more to me than anything else.And I care about you so much…I avoided you because I was scared.I was scared that my mother would somehow find out and prevent me from ever seeing you at all and I couldn't stand that thought.I know that it doesn't make any sense, but I wasn't thinking straight.

So J, I'm so sorry.Please forgive me.I'll understand if you still don't want to have anything to do with me, but please at least forgive me.

And there's something else that you need to know, but I don't know how to say it.

There the letter ended.All of J's anger faded away, like a hazy red mist dissipating.But how could the letter just stop there?Frantically J searched for more.There, on the floor, was another folded piece of paper that had fallen out of the first letter when J had opened it.With trembling hands, J picked up the letter.This had been written at a separate time from the first note, for the ink was in blue instead of black.

_I can't sleep, Jules.All I can think about is you.And now I know how to tell you what I feel.These words just appeared in my head.I think you should read them, Jules._

Desperate for changing

Starving for truth

Closer to where I started 

Chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you

letting go of all I've held onto

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking

Completely incomplete

I'll take your invitation

you take all of me

I'm falling even more in love with you

letting go of all I've held onto

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

I'm living for the only thing I know

I'm running and not quite sure where to go

I don't know what I'm diving into

I'm hanging my a moment here with you

There is nothing else to lose

There is nothing else to find

There is nothing in the world that could change my mind

There is nothing else

I'm falling even more in love with you

letting go of all I've held onto

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Jules, I know that you're going out with Sunshine, but there's something that you need to know.I love you.

J sat speechless on her bad, a rising lump in her throat."Alan," she whispered.She knew what she had to do.

***

J raced through the night until she reached a homely rancher.A glimpse through the window revealed Sunshine, head titled to the side, in a recliner in front of the television.He was fast asleep.A bittersweet smile on her face, J jogged over to the door and knocked just loud enough to cause Sunshine to jolt awake.He shook his head, blinked a few times, and jumped to answer the door.

"J!Are you alright?What's wrong?Do you need any help?Stepping onto the porch, he pulled her into a hug.Voice muffled because her face was mashed against Sunshine's shoulder, J answered,

"Uh, Sunshine, we need tuh talk."Sunshine released her.

"Oh, okay."He motioned towards a pair of chairs, "do you want to sit?"J nervously ran her hands through her hair.

"I think we'd better."J took a seat next to Sunshine, rubbing her hands together."I've come to talk to you about our relationship.I…I don't think that I feel about you the way you feel about me.I'm really, really sorry.This just isn't going to work.I'm sorry.I hope that we can still be friends."When J was finished, there was a long pause.Eventually, Sunshine spoke, a somber look in his eyes.

"I know.I've always kinda known.That you felt nothing besides friendship towards me, I mean."J stood and Sunshine copied her action.

"Staring tomorrow, I'm gonna find you a girlfriend, okay?"Sunshine chuckled, a half-smile on his face, though his eyes were still melancholy.

"Not right away, kay?I still gotta get over my old girlfriend."J returned Sunshine's smile,

"Okay.Again, I'm so sorry."She leaned in and gave Sunshine a light hug."Thanks for understanding."Then she disappeared into the night.Sunshine stood where she had left him for a few moments.

"Bye J," he whispered before returning inside.

***

J reached and gripped the branch above her, hauling herself up."Why can't Alan have a first floor bedroom?" she muttered.Finally, she arrived at Alan's window and was about to rap upon it when she stopped herself._'Wait a minute,' she thought.__'What if he didn't mean all that stuff in the letter.What if I misinterpreted it?He could just love me as a sister, or a best friend, and now I'm about to make an idiot of myself.'_

As J was sitting outside arguing with herself, Alan was waking up.He hadn't been sleeping well that night, and the noises coming from the tree outside his window had disturbed him.Cautiously, he tip-toed over to his window and slid it open.When J heard the slight creaking noise of the window being opened, she tried to hide._'Great, now he's gonna think I'm crazy.'But she didn't duck in time._

"J?What are you doing here in the middle of the night?" Alan hissed."Are you alright?"He proceeded to try and climb out of the window, but his lanky figure made the process near impossible.J waved a hand,

"No, you don't need to get out.I just wanted to ask you something."Heart thudding, Alan sat on the window frame.

_' Perfect__.She read the note and thinks I'm some sort of lovesick idiot.' he inwardly groaned."Uh, what do you want to know?"J anxiously scoured her brain for a suitable answer._

"Um, in your letter, the second one,"

_'Oh no, here it comes,' Alan moaned inwardly,_

"you called me Jules.I was just wondering, um, where'd you come up with that nickname?'Cause no one's evercalled me that.Dad says that Mom would refer to me as Jules—but I don't remember, obviously…"Alan winced.Perfect.He knew how hard it was for J to talk about her mother.And now he'd gone and drudged up a painful subject.

"Oh, I'm so sorry.The name just came to me.I'm sorry, I won't use it again if you don't want."J shook her head,

"No, it's okay.You can call me Jules."Her eyes filled with an emotion that Alan knew well, but couldn't believe that he was seeing."But only you."J finished.

"Okay," Alan answered softly."So you read my note, then?"J's eyes were warm,

"The whole thing."Alan shifted uncomfortably on his seat.

"Look, Jules, I'm so sorry, I—"

"It's okay, Alan," J interrupted."You've apologized enough.I forgive you."Alan closed his eyes and nodded, slowly opening them again.

"Thank you."

"It's nothing."J's voice turned guilty."I'm the one who should be apologizing.I was so cold to you when you needed me to forgive you."Alan flicked a bug from the sill and answered.

"Don't worry about it.I forgive you too."J flashed a heart-stopping smile and moved closer to Alan.

"Then we're even.C'mere."She reached over and hugged Alan.'Twas a rather awkward embrace, for she was precariously perched on a tree branch and he was half in and half out of his window.After a few seconds, J drew away."Now, don't you EVER do anything like that to me again!" she scolded."Next time, you're going to tell me if something is wrong, and I'm not accepting any more excuses!"Alan grinned,

"Okay.So long as the same goes for you."J's voice was full of laughter,

"Deal."Her eyes met with Alan's, and their hazel and blue orbs locked.Just as their faces were centimeters apart, a football whizzed by Alan's ear.J and Alan's heads snapped in the direction that the pigskin ball came from.There was Sheryl, leaning out of her next door window. 

"Well, it took the two of you long enough.Now, would you pipe down and go to bed!Some of us are trying to sleep here."As Sheryl retreated back to her bedroom, J and Alan broke out in a fit of hushed laughter.J glanced down and saw the football lying on the Yoast's lawn.

"Hey Alan," she suggested puckishly."You wanna?"Alan saw where J was looking.A smile crept on his face. 

"Alright.Bring it on."After much rustling and many near falls, Alan and J made it down the tree and into the yard.They tossed, punted, and tackled for awhile until J tripped on a tree branch and went down fast.

"Jules!"Alan rushed to her side and helped her up.J was shaking in laughter.

"I'm fine," she gulped between gasps of air.Alan's face broke into a wide grin.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked, trying not to laugh as well.

"Yeah, don't worry."J's smile faded as she stared into Alan's eyes."I have to tell you something," she said after a lapse of silence.Searching J's eyes for a sign of anything unsettling, Alan found nothing.

"What?" he queried softly.

"I love you," replied J.A smile tugged at Alan's lips, but never made it all the way.For at the following second, his mouth was on J's in a sweet and soft kiss.J's arms slowly wrapped around Alan's neck as his arms snaked around her waist, the couple drawing closer under the moonlit, star-studded sky.

_Alrighty__ folks, that's all we have for now.Shouldn't be too long till we have the next chapter ready, so till then, hold tight and review!We'll give you sugar if you review *smile* i gots plenty ta share._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Coach walked up to Alan's room and knocked on the door."Alan, it's time to get up now."Coach heard the sounds of sheets being peeled from a long-dormant body, so he knew that Alan was getting up.Chuckling to himself, he headed downstairs to make breakfast.

Alan jerked awake at the rapping and voice at his door.Slowly, he disentangled himself from his covers and began to get ready.As he was pulling his shirt over his head, he froze.Last night.He couldn't believe what had happened last night.He'd been dreaming of…oh no…dreaming.It was probably all just a dream, some cosmic force's cruel joke.But the memory was so vivid, so clear, like the contented look on Jules' face after they'd finally pulled away and bade each other good night—they did have school the next morning, after all.

Torn between hope and disappointment, Alan thudded downstairs for breakfast, praying that it hadn't all been a dream.

***

The alarm sounded—a hated, irksome buzz that rudely ripped through the blissful realms of glorious sleep.A pillow flew up and over from the mound on the bed, silencing the clock's protests.Gradually, a hand, then arm, then head, and so on emerged from the pile of blankets on the bed.J extracted herself from her warm, soft place of rest.But this morning, she (for once) wasn't in a foul temper.There was nothing that could ruin her mood.

"Wow," she whispered, pausing for a second.Wow.She was in love with her best friend.Wow.J finished tying her shoelaces.If the memory wasn't so vivid, so clear, she'd think that it was a dream.She cheerfully glanced over at the papers lying on her dresser as she ran a comb through her hair.What did it matter if it was a dream?She had the note to prove that Alan loved her, she loved him back, and if it was all just a dream, she'd simply grab him before lunch and pull him into the hallway closet after her.

J couldn't help but laugh at herself.She'd never thought this way before.In fact, if you had asked her days ago, she would have answered you that such thoughts were silly, superficial, and the like.But days ago she didn't know that she was in love…

_'So this is what they mean when they say walking on clouds,' J contemplated as she pranced on air for the kitchen._

***

Ever since Alan was adopted by Coach, he'd gotten rides to school.Consequently, he didn't see J until just before homeroom. Her eyes meeting his, she shot him a look full of delight, love, and that special mischievous twinkle that never left her eyes unless she was upset.Alan could help but send her the same look back.Julius caught the exchanged glances between the two, and he pointed it out to Gerry, who wasn't phased."Oh, so they finally got together?It took them long enough.It's been 16 years in the making."

***

Needless to say, it didn't take long for J to assure Alan that the previous night's events were not a dream.By lunchtime, the two were a full-blown couple.It was first class after lunch that the rest of the school knew about the pairing.This happened when Alan and J entered history hand in hand.This wasn't an uncommon occurrence, because they had often held hands, as friends, in the past.The tip-off should have been the interlocked fingers, for THAT was new.

For dense people, J and Alan officially announced the nature of their relationship when they reached J's desk.Alan pulled her close, kissed her nose, and spun her lovingly around so she could sit down.The class erupted in a mix of "oooohs, awwws," and other various catcalls.Alan and J flushed beet red as the teacher, a middle-aged woman from the Deep South, glanced up and rolled her eyes.

"Alright, Alright, cut it out.Ain't nothin' ya'll haven't seen before."In the back of the classroom, the guy sitting next to Sunshine leaned in and taunted,

"Lose your girl, Sunshine?"Sunshine was focused on J and Alan,

"No," he answered."She was never mine.She's always been his."

***

The days passed.Everything seemed to be going perfectly.The Titans were on a winning streak, Alan finally had a home where he was safe and could be himself…and did I mention Alan and J?Nothing between them was different but everything was different.That's the best way that it can be described.They were still Alan and J, best friends, but there was something new and exciting between them that brought them all the closer.Then Gerry had his accident.

J's blood turned to ice when she found out.She thought she was done worrying about her best friends.She had thought that she'd never have to go into a hospital for one of these reasons again.But here it was, Coach on the other end of the phone, telling her that Gerry's car had been hit by a truck.All lingering euphoria from the Titans' spectacular win earlier that night vanished.Finally, J found her voice.

"I—I'll get my dad to drive me to the hospital."When J arrived, she spotted Alan sitting in the waiting room, a pained look on his face.He stood to meet her, and she walked right into his embrace, crying into his shirt.

"I know, I know," he murmured."I feel the same way."J looked up at Alan with red eyes, to see that his own eyes were fighting to stabilize a wall of unshed tears.

"How bad is it?" she asked in a hushed voice.Alan was reluctant to answer."Alan, come on!How is he doing?" she pressed, voice panicky.Alan gazed at her with hurt, compassionate, weary eyes.

"He's paralyzed from the waist down."J's throat was grabbed and squeezed by a tight fist as she covered her mouth with her hand and began shaking with sobs.Alan wrapped her up in his arms, a few tears sliding down his own cheeks.Slowly, J reasonably calmed and pulled herself from Alan.

"Where is he?I want to see him."Alan shook his head,

"He's only allowed to have one visitor at a time, and besides, Julius really isn't supposed to be in there because he's only supposed to be having family visit him right now."J could feel her temper rising,

"I don't care.Anyway, he's like my big brother, isn't he?Now, I want to see him!" she demanded.At that moment, Julius came into the waiting room.

"Gerry's in there askin' about what's keeping his little sis."J smiled gratefully at Julius and marched into Gerry's room.Her expression softened when she saw him lying there.

"There you are," he said, his old playful tone in his voice."I was wondering what was keeping ya."J managed a slight giggle as she pulled up a chair beside the bed.

"My, my, aren't we the impatient one?"Gerry turned the best he could to look at her.

"I'm the impatient one?Why, I can think of a number of times—"J held up her hands in defeat,

"Alright, you got me.You're the very model of patience."Gerry straightened on his bed, a triumphant smirk on his face.

"That's more like it."After a pause, he queried, "what's it like out there?"J massaged her forehead.

"Very somber.And sad.The whole team's out there, plus Sheryl, both Coaches, and your mom, of course."Gerry's head moved a bit, like he was trying to shake it.

"It's not like I'm dead."J's face broke into a wide grin.

"Nope.You're not."Right then, Alan plus a few others appeared at the doorway, coming to see how Gerry was doing.

__

__

_AN:__As we all know, Gerry eventually was released from the hospital.In the meantime, the Titans "danced their way to victory."And there was much rejoicing (yeey).But I'm sure you're beginning to want more of the Alan/J sappy stuff.Well, that's next.So sit back, relax (coughreviewcough) and get ready for a whole chapter of "Awws!"Then, after that, we'll get back to all the plot stuff._


	5. Chapter 5

Hey, ok, I don't know how historically accurate I am in this

_Hey, ok, I don't know how historically accurate I am in this.I don't know if they could take pics from log flumes in the early 70s, but it's such a minor detail…so could we just like look over that please?Thanks!_

Chapter 5

Saturday, November 15, 1971.3 days after Alan's 17th birthday.

J knocked crisply on the Yoast's door.A somewhat disheveled Coach, still in his robe and holding a coffee mug, answered."Morning, Coach!" J chirped.Coach's face was a stew of surprise (you didn't dare even talk to J this early without a death wish), sleepiness, amusement, and a tad of annoyance.

"Why...good morning, J.May I ask what you are doing here at this hour?"

"I'm taking Alan out for his birthday, Coach, remember?I already told you all about it," responded J cheerfully.

"That you did, that you did, J."Coach chuckled."Well, Alan's still asleep, but you're welcome to go and wake him."J smiled brightly,

"Thank you!" and swept past him to Alan's room.

***

Alan was having an ok dream when he felt familiar lips softly brush against his cheek.He allowed his eyes to open and J filled his vision."What a way to wake up," he said, voice brimming with warmth.J flashed a dazzling grin,

"Aww, Alan, you're sweet, but it's time to get up!"

"Up?" Alan sputtered, "but--Jules--you—it's still dark!"J reached into his closet, pulled out a sweatshirt, and threw it at him.

"So?Road trip!"Alan glanced at his clock,

"But it's 5 am!"J stopped in horror,

"5 am?!"Alan nodded, gazing in relief at her, then at his pillow."Then we're running late!"Alan's face fell.J snatched a pair of jeans out of his dresser and flung them onto the bed."I want you dressed in 2 minutes.I'll be waiting in the hallway."With that, she brushed out of the room and closed the door behind her.

One and a half minutes later, Alan came out of the room, and J set upon him."Great!You're done!Here's your jacket," she handed it to him, "now let's roll."Still not awake, wondering how J could be up this early and not be biting anyone's head off, and overwhelmed with the flurry, Alan followed her out the door, giving up on thinking."Bye Coach!"he called behind him.

"Have a fun time, kids!"Alan climbed into the passenger's seat, for J was already in the driver's.

"Don't you want me to drive?"J stuck the key in the ignition.

"Of course not!It's your birthday!Well...sort of.Anyway, I'm chauffeuring.You relax.Oh, and here," she fished something out of her coat pocket."Eat on the way."The blond teenager looked at the granola bar in his hand.

"Aww, Jules, you made breakfast!"The corners of J's mouth curved upward,

"That I did.When you're done, why don't you go back to sleep.We've got a bit of a drive."Alan finished off the last of his granola bar and tugged the pillow he'd been sitting on out from beneath him.

"So that's what this was."J shook her head and smiled,

"Sweet dreams."With a contented sigh and a heart bursting with love, Alan situated himself comfortably and surrendered to Hypnos.

***

"C'mon sleepyhead, wakey-wakey!You've been snoozing for 5 hours, it's time to get up!Oh Alan, just get up!We're here!"Alan, who'd been awake since J first tried to get him up, made his eyes flutter open.He squinted at J, pretending that his vision was blurry.She was leaning over him, the sun behind her streaming through the windshield, silhouetting her features.

"An angel," he whispered in awe.J rolled her eyes, but couldn't keep the grin off her face.

"Funny, Alan, real funny.Now you heard what I said, let's go!"J backed up and climbed out of the already open door on her side.Alan yawned, unbuckled, and got out of the car.

"Is that salt air I smell?" he asked, stretching.

"Yes it is," J replied, grabbing both their coats from the car."That's why I had you dress warmly.The beach is gonna be cold with all the wind blowing off the sea.At least it should be reasonably deserted."Alan took his jacked from J, still trying to clear all the cobwebs that Morpheus had left in his mind.

"You drove us all the way to the beach?" J took Alan's hand and led him in the direction of a rise off to the right.

"Oh ye of little faith.Don't look so surprised.My Dad and I come down here every summer, you know that."Her face clouded slightly."He says that Mom loved it.They spent their honeymoon here."Alan's response was to pull J closer.After a few minutes of silence, they reached the top of the hill and stopped.There was the ocean.Alan gazed around, and the beach was bare except for various seagulls and a handful of other people sparsely scattered up and down the coast. 

"It's beautiful, J," he breathed, admiring the pounding serf, sucking tide, and white-capped blue-green waves.

"I knew you'd like it," J said with a smile.

***  
The couple spent the next two hours strolling along the coastline.When they became hungry, J ran back down to the car, returning with a basket and a blanket."Lunch courtesy of Gerry's mom," she informed Alan as he helped her lay out the blanket.

"When'd Mrs. Bertier make lunch for us?" Alan inquired as he munched on a BLT, his favorite.

"Yesterday after school when I went to hang out with Gerry _(this is when he was still recuperating).They asked me what plans I had for your birthday, 'cause of course I had to top last year's somehow, and she promptly made lunch upon hearing that I really didn't have many plans for food yet."Alan laughed,_

"Well, I'll have to give her my compliments."

"You know, you slept like a baby on the way here," commented J, taking a bite out of an apple."When I stopped for gas, which you slept through completely, the guy behind the counter asked me if you were on meds or something because you were out so cold.This huge truck went by us that was so loud that it disturbed the kids of the woman behind us, and they started screaming.But you slept through the entire thing."Alan scratched his head,

"What I want to know is how you manage to get up so early and not kill anyone for breathing wrong."

"Ha ha."J thought about the question for a moment."Only for you," she responded, eyes glittering.

***

Finishing lunch, Alan and J made their way back to the car.As they were putting the things from lunch away, Alan remarked,

"You know, I don't think I've seen you with your hair in a braid for years."J pushed a few stray wisps behind her ears.

"It's to keep it out of my face."

"It's pretty."J smirked, thought Alan noted the blushed tint to her cheeks.

"Aren't you being the charmer today.Next you're gonna tell me that I should wear it this way more often."Alan shrugged his shoulders,

"Only if you want to."J smiled, biting her bottom lip. 

"Now, I like that answer," she said in a playful tone, sauntering closer to Alan.

He gathered her in his arms."Well, like you said, I'm just full of flattery today." 

J giggled and teased his nose with hers."But it's your birthday date.I'm supposed to be the one flattering you."

Alan grinned and kissed the tip of her nose."Okay.I'm waiting.Commence flattering."

J kissed the bridge of his nose."Did I mention how adorable you are when you're sleeping?"

Alan caressed her cheek with his hand."Anything else?"

"And have I told you that I love you?"

Alan smiled, "yup.But you just did again."

"Uh-huh!"J broke away from Alan."Now get in the car."Alan proceeded to follow her order.

"You sure you don't want me to drive?You've gotta be really tired, I'll let you rest on the way back."

J grinned mysteriously and jingled the keys in her hand."You ain't gettin' these just yet, buddy-boy.What, did you think we were leaving already?"

Alan buckled up,"I didn't know."

J started the car and began to back out of the parking space."We still have half a day left!Now, don't fall asleep, because we don't have far to go."

***

True to her word, J stopped the car after 5 minutes of driving."Here we are.Don't forget your jacket, you might want it."Alan nodded as he grabbed his coat and got out of the car.A goofy grin alighted his face when he saw where J had taken him.

"The boardwalk!" he exclaimed.

J shook her had, a smile plastered to her features."Yes, the boardwalk.Now," she put her arm around Alan's and began walking with him, "tell me whyyou love it so much.I know that you do, I just don't know why."

Alan shrugged his shoulders as he strolled with her."I don't know.I guess being on the boardwalk just makes me feel like a little kid again.Oooh, can we go to the carnival, can we, please?"Alan turned to her, eyes sparkling in excitement and face pleading after spotting the carnival.

J nodded, grinning widely."It is your birthday."J and Alan didn't go to the carnival right away, however.Upon making it up to the boardwalk, they decided that it would be "so much cooler" if they waited till it was dark, when the lights from the rides would have the greatest effect.Instead, they sauntered all the way up and down the boardwalk, stopping at various stores and other places, including, of course, the arcade.

After having his fill of winning at skee-ball, (J had gotten tired of watching him and his countless victories awhile ago) Alan wandered around the arcade until he found J.It didn't take long, because anyone with a trained ear could hear where she was from miles away.She was battering the brains out of plastic crabs in one of those annoying albeit fun and addicting bashing games. _(ya know, where those moles or crabs or alligators or whatever pop out of the holes and you have to smack them with padded mallets.What are those called, anyway?)_

Tugging on her arm, he said, "C'mon, let's go.Before you break something."J snapped out of whatever zone she was in and reddened at the ferocity of her attack on the crabs.

"Yeah," she replied."we should…go now," and allowed herself to be led out of the arcade by Alan.The two played mini-golf, poked around many stores but didn't really buy anything, and had a "fun" time getting chased by seagulls.This happened right before they went into the carnival, when they bought some funnel cake.Needless to say, they didn't get to eat much of it and had to end up finding something else to have for dinner._(an: those seagulls can be vicious, man.*shakes head* I saw them attack this lady once.She was walking along with a funnel cake on a plate and they just swooped down and picked at it.The lady squawked and dropped it, running away.The descended upon the funnel cake like raptors.It was rather unsettling…oh yeah…the story.Sorry *sheepish grin*)_

After that adventure, Alan and J decided to seek refuge in the carnival.The entire night consisted of one dragging the other off to any ride that caught his/her fancy.Or, them both agreeing on a ride and scampering off to it hand in hand.They went on the log flume bone dry and left it drenched.J insisted that they buy the picture of them coming down the hill, for, "our faces look all smushed and warped.It's hilarious."They beat each other mercilessly on the bumper cars, and made a quick trip to the bathroom after the Scrambler.After that ride, it was the consensus pronouncement to take it slow for a little while.

J won Alan a big white fuzzy teddy bear at one of those games where you throw the baseball and knock things down.In turn, Alan used his master skee-ball skills to win J a goldfish.A fast run back to the car to stow away the prizes, and the couple went prancing around the carnival some more.Finally, they had time for only one more ride before the place closed.Alan pulled at J's arm."Hey Jules, let's go on the Ferris Wheel!We'll get a gorgeous view of the beach and boardwalk."J chewed on her lip, looking uncomfortably at the top of the aforementioned ride.Alan's eyes softened."Ohh, that's right.You don't like heights.We can just pick another ride."

J set out her jaw."Uh-uh, no way.We're going on the ride, it's your birthday and you wanna go on it so we're going."

"No, Jules, I forgot, we don't have to—"

J grabbed Alan's hand and dragged him to the Ferris Wheel."We're going.I'm not scared, I can handle it.We're going."Yet, Alan noticed that J refused to look anywhere besides straight in front of her, and her grip on his hand was tight.They climbed into the chair, and J seemed only to tense more when the operator lowered the metal belt over their waists.She squeezed her eyes shut and gritted her teeth as the ride jolted and moved upwards.

After the first cycle, J managed to open her eyes, but she had unconsciously scooted closer to Alan and maintained a death hold on his hand.Trouble came, however, after about the third rotation, when the Ferris Wheel came to a halt with Alan and J right at the top.J's face drained to a paper white."What is it?Why aren't we moving?Why did we stop?" she asked frantically, wanting to glance down to see what was going on, but too frightened to.

"It's alright," soothed Alan."This happens a lot. They'll start it back up before too long.I'm right here, you'll be fine."

J struggled to keep her face nonchalant."You make it sound like I'm scared.Well, if that's what you're thinking, I have news for you, bucko.I'm not scared in the slightest.Alan tried his hardest not to appear amused, and succeeded.For despite her declaration, J's voice quavered, and she was clinging to him by this point.

"You don't have to worry about me thinking any less of you, or thinking that you're not tough, 'cause I know how strong you are.Everyone has things that unnerve them," stated Alan."It's nothing to be ashamed of.Look at me and getting up in front of people."J let go of Alan a little so she could view him more properly.

"Aw, Alan, you're the sweetest.D'ya really mean that?"

"Of course I do," Alan softly responded.J smiled a bit as she allowed herself to drown in his deep blue eyes.Similarly, Alan was basking in the warmth of J's hazel orbs.Drawing closer, their lips softly met.J was in the process of wrapping one arm around Alan's neck and the other around his shoulders when the Ferris Wheel jerked back into movement.J and Alan were flung forward in their seats.J nearly screamed, whereas Alan again had to fight not to laugh (he found the timing of the whole thing rather humorous).

Despite all of her fears, J made it off the ride safely with Alan.The pair returned to the car and prepared to leave.As J was unlocking the car, Alan asked, "so what are you going to name your goldfish?"

J's brow furrowed."Hmm.I don't know."She picked up the goldfish bag to get a good look at the pet, in hopes of finding a name for it.As she stared at the fish, she got a funny look on her face.

"What is it?" queried Alan.

"Um, Alan, I think it's dead."Alan jogged around the car and took the fish from J, studying it.

"I think you're right."

"What a jip!" J's face was a mask of mock-fury."Giving away damaged prizes."She glanced around. They were parked right next to the beach."We need to bury it."Alan's eyes widened in disbelief.

"Here?Now?"

"Why not?We've got enough light from the boardwalk."J shrugged, "besides, what better place?Have you no respect for the dead?"Alan couldn't find any argument against that, so he consented.After a short, solemn funeral and burial, the couple was ready to go.Or so Alan thought.J still had one more surprise left before they were allowed to go home.

When they got back to the car, J reached into the trunk and pulled out her guitar."Time for your birthday present."

Alan was shocked, "but I thought that today was my birthday present."

"Nope," corrected J as she took her guitar out of its case."Today was your birthday date._This is your present."She began tuning her instrument._

"But you're my gift." Alan said warmly.J gave him an award-winning smile, but was persistent.

"You're the sweetest, really.But there's no use arguing.I've already wrote the song."

A smile played about Alan's lips."You wrote me a song?"

"Well, sort of," J answered."You wrote part of it."Before Alan could reply, J began playing a soft, sweet tune.Taking a deep breath, she began to sing.Before long, Alan recognized the words.They were the same ones that he had used to tell her how he felt in the letter.But the words seemed transformed when set to J's music.They were even more true and beautiful than before.When J finished, she glanced up at Alan for approval.

"It's wonderful…thank you," he answered, enveloping her into an embrace.

"You wrote the lyrics, I wrote the music." J responded."Now we have a song.One that's truly ours."

__

_So didya like it?Review then!Please!Pwease?Or we'll hunt you down and throw artificial sweetener packets at you.Those of you who review get sugar!Easy decision, no?so go review!_


	6. Chapter 6

All the characters except J and her dad belong to Disney

_All the characters except J and her dad belong to Disney.Bugs Bunny belongs to Warner Brothers.Though I'm not sure if I need a disclaimer for that.Do i?if it's only mentioned, not characters used?Oh well.The disclaimer's here anyway._

Chapter 6

Of course, J was right up there in the stands, screaming her lungs out, for the Titans' final game, right?If you're thinking that, you're wrong.J decided that instead, she'd watch the game with Gerry in his hospital room."You know, to keep him company and all," she was quoted as saying.

The screaming lungs out part, however, is true.Gerry and J's combined angry and excited voices could be heard echoing all down the hallway.At one point, J left to get something to eat.Right, apparently, when Gerry chucked a pillow at one of the nurses.J was upset that she missed that.Always claimed that Gerry wouldn't have missed if she'd been there to coach him.

***

During halftime, while everyone was in the locker room, the phone in the Coach's office rang.Boone ran to go get it."Hello?"

"Hey, Coach."Boone's face brightened slightly.

"Oh, hey Gerry.How you doing?"

"Not too good, Coach.It's killin' me to see how you guys are doing out there."Bone smiled in spite of himself.Gerry was recovering rapidly and quite nicely.

"Well, we just had a bit of a bad start.I think we're gonna do much better, you just wait and see.Lemme give your message to the team."This Boone did, and was sent back to the phone with many salutations and well-wishes to Gerry from the rest of the Titans.Then J grabbed the phone from Gerry after he received his message.

"Hey Coach Boone."Now Boone broke out into a full grin, unable to contain his amusement.J sure was something.Her and Sheryl…girls like them were hard to come by.

"Hello there J.Want me to tell the team something for you?"There was a pause that sounded oddly like an intake of breath.

"Sure.WHAT are you guys DOING out there?!Whatever it is, it sure isn't football!"Boone had to pull away from the phone a bit, least he be rendered deaf.In the background, he could vaguely hear pacing (at least as much pacing as one can do when inhibited by a phone cord)."If you guys don't shape up soon, I'm gonna come down there, steal a uniform, go out on the field, and show you how it's done!I'll win this thing myself!"Suppressing a laugh, Coach replied,

"Alright, I'll give the boys your 'message of encouragement.'"

***

As we all know, the Titans shaped up second half and finished the game with a suspenseful but spectacular win.Whether or not Gerry and J's "pep talk" had anything to do with it has yet to be proven.J let Gerry have a few moments of silent victory, then pounded upon him in a triumphant hug that consisted of much cheery and energy.Their celebration was cut short when the phone rang.It was Alan.

"Alan, hey!Wow, you guys did awesome out there!I didn't have to come down and impersonate a team member."

"Jules, you ARE a team member.You wouldn't need to impersonate.Hey, I wanna talk to you, but let's do it later, in person.Can I talk to Gerry for a sec?"

"Sure."J handed the phone to Gerry."It's Alan."Gerry accepted the phone,

"Hey, man!That was so great of you, letting Petey in.Awesome win!"

"Hey, thanks Gerry.Look, the rest of the guys and I have a message for you.You know that win you just mentioned?That one was for you."

Thus the Titans ended their perfect season.But our story is far from over.In fact, it has just barely begun.

***

December 23, 1971.The first day of Christmas break.One day before J's 17th birthday.4 pm in the evening.J's father, Gregory McConnell, has just returned from being gone since 1 o'clock that afternoon.

Gregory walked into his house and beckoned for his daughter."C'mon Red," (Red was J's father's nickname for her) "put on a coat."

"Coming, Dad," J called back as she thumped down the stairs."Where are we going?" she asked as she pulled on her coat.

"Over to the Yoast's," J's father answered, opening the door and ushering J out.The redhead tried, unsuccessfully, to hide her smile.She always loved hanging out with Sheryl and Coach.Then there was the obvious reason.

"What're we going over there for?We already had a birthday part…is this some sort of Christmas get-together thing?We've had them sometimes."J had gotten her cryptic smile from her father, of that there was no doubt.For with the familiar unrevealing tone in his voice, Gregory answered,

"Sure, why not?"

***

When they arrived, Sheryl and Coach were waiting in the living room, coats on.As soon as J stepped in the door, her father asked, "You ready?" to them.

"You bet.Let's go," Coach answered.

"What—wait—where are we going?" sputtered J.

"WE are going to the movies, then dinner," Sheryl stated matter-of-factly on her way out.

"Maybe do a little last-minute Christmas shopping," Coach added."You two have fun, okay?" he said to J and Alan, who had just sauntered out of the kitchen, hands thrust in his pockets.

"Yes," Mr. McConnell continued."Behave while we're gone."He "menacingly" pointed a finger at J, but his gaze was directed at Alan.The youth extracted a hand from his pocket and waved goodbye.

"Yessir."Gregory grimaced,

"Don't call me sir, please.Sounds all stuffy and formal.The name's Greg."

"Uhh…will do, sir."Chuckling, J's father turned and departed with Coach and Sheryl.J was still standing in the center of the room, baffled, coat on, soundlessly working her jaw.

"What just happened?" she asked slowly.Alan grinned as he walked up to her."You might wanna take your coat off."Blushing, J did so."And they left, you heard what they said."

"Then why are we…" J spun around to look about her, as if in the Yoast's house for the very first time.Alan took both of J's hands and gently pulled her into the dining room.

"We, on the other hand, are staying here.So I can repay you for that fabulous day at the beach a little over a month ago."All confusion cleared and was replaced by awe when J took full notice of her surroundings.

The room was done in anything fancy, but to J, it was beautiful.The room was candlelit, but not dimly.A vase with 3 or 4 white roses, her favorite, adorned the center of the tape.In the place of fine china, or even regular tableware, were Bugs Bunny cups, plates, and napkins.The spoons, forks, and knives were plastic."Bugs is your favorite," Alan said after J was done gaping, "so I figured you'd like this.And anything but plastic would have looked stupid with the plates.Besides, I know you'd yell at me if you thought anything was too formal." 

"Aw, Alan," J turned to meet his gaze, eyes shimmering."Thank you, I…" she paused to sniff the air."What is that wonderful smell?"

Alan beamed, "just sit down and hold tight for a sec—it's your birthday date and this time I'm doing the work—and I'll show you."He disappeared into the kitchen for a minute or so, soon returning with a big bowl of steaming spaghetti and another bowl of thick tomato sauce—the source of the heavenly scent."I made it all myself, so I had to pick something where I wouldn't burn the house down while making it.

J picked up her fork, then caught and held Alan's eyes with hers."It's perfect.Trust me."

Alan's face reflected both gratitude and relief."Good.Thanks.But, youhaven't eaten anything yet.You might want to before you decide how great it is…"

***

A pensive look had settled upon J's face since tasting the tomato sauce, but she hadn't as of yet asked any questions.Finally, Alan couldn't stand it anymore."How bad is it?" he asked weakly.J snapped out of her ponderings.

"Oh, Alan, it's great!It's just…"

"Just what?" mumbled Alan as he played with his napkin.

"Where did you get the sauce?Like, what brand is it?Because it tastes so familiar, but I can't seem to place exactly what it is.

Alan was tearing little strips from his napkin."It's not a brand sauce.It's a recipe."

Surprise played about J's face."A recipe?Really?What recipe?"

Alan ran his tongue along his bottom teeth for a moment before answering."Your mother's."

"Mom's?" whispered J, no solid emotions showing thoroughly in her voice or face.Her father had tried to make the sauce a couple of times, but he wasn't a master when it came to cooking.Each batch he'd made had been good, but not, apparently, Melinda McConnell's famous tomato sauce.So Gregory had given up.J's first real food, only a few weeks before her mother's death, had been spaghetti with her mother's sauce.The sauce tonight, thetaste, had been hauntingher, like a ghost of a memory.Now she knew what it was."How?" she eventually managed to ask.

"Well, when I was planning this dinner, I wanted to make something special.I went to your dad for help, and he told me that the only thing he could think of was spaghetti with your mother's sauce.But h said that no one had been able to make it since…well, I figured I'd give it a try."Alan stood up and lit another candle, for it was getting dark in the room."That's where your dad was all afternoon, over here taste-testing for me.It took me four batches until I got it right.He was so happy, your dad, when he tasted the final batch.He got this joyful look on his face first, that faded to wistfulness, but back to cheery a moment later.He clapped me on the back and thanked me for what I was doing.Meant a lot to him…"Alan trailed off as he noticed J starting at him, eyes shining.

"Thank you.I—thank you."

Alan gazed warmly back at her."It's my pleasure."His face turned kiddish, like a little child who was presenting a present that he had made to his mother."Now it's time for desert."

***

Chocolate covered strawberries.Her favorite.Now, with a full stomach and a contented sigh, J plopped down on the couch to wait for Alan.They had just finished cleaning the kitchen—Alan wanted to do it alone but J insisted that she help—and Alan had told J to wait in the living room for him while he ran up to his room to get something.Gazing at the roaring flames before her (the couch was directly in front of the fireplace), J was reminded of Alan.His warmth.All that he'd been through to get to here, and J couldn't help but be boggled by the concept.How did Alan turn out to be as sweet, kind, and loving as he was?He certainly didn't learn that from his biological parents.

J turned her head to watch Alan as he thudded down the stairs.He was carrying a gift—it looked like a large book.J's eyebrows peaked when she saw what it was wrapped in—newspaper.Alan pointed to the print as he sat down next to her."The sports section.Your favorite."

"Cute," was J's reply as her lips curled in a little smile.She ripped through the paper to reveal the present—it was indeed a book.Homemade, from the look of it.Light blue cardboard outside with plain white paper inside.J gasped as she flipped through the pages.There, placed inside the book, were pictures, drawings, notes, newspaper clippings…all related to her and Alan.One of the pictures at the beginning was an old black and white photograph of three heads (if the picture had been color, one sandy-blonde, one dark red, and the other dirt brown) sticking out of a mass of bubbles inside a bathtub."Me, you, and Gerry, age two," murmured J, reading the caption—in Alan's handwriting—beneath."Where did you get all of these?" J asked, studying all of the old photographs.

Alan shrugged as he watched J's delighted face with joy."It wasn't that hard.Just went to your dad and Mrs. Bertier.They had all sorts of stuff, and Coach had some of those newspaper clippings."The newspaper cut-outs, some from the local newspaper about little-league football, and others from their junior-high school's newspaper, all mentioned Gerry and Alan, some even mentioned J.One school newspaper clipping in particular was from 2 years before, when J had been named honorary football team member since she was at every practice and game.

There was even some recent memorabilia, including the picture of her and Alan from the log flume a month before.Curiously, J scanned the 20 or so blank pages still in the book."What are these for?"

"The future," replied Alan simply.J's features softened as she grinned at him, smile deepening when she noticed the caption on the book's front cover.

"Us: A Scrapbook," she read aloud."Alan…thank you.This is the sweetest thing…" J broke off as she hugged him tightly.

"I'm glad you like it," responded Alan.A few minutes later found the couple, still side by side, staring at the crackling fire."So…did this year beat last year?" Alan asked.

"You bet," laughed J."But what about you?I never did find out—did I manage to top myself?"

"Hmm…I don't know…" Alan stroked his chin in mock-thought."It's kind hard to out-do a fake party followed by a surprise party."

J rolled her eyes."I'm only glad that you're so predictable and went trudging off to the Yoast's.I mean, if I'd told Gerry that his 16th birthday party was at my house, then he'd shown up and found the place deserted, he would have went sulking back home.Luckily, you got curious and decided to go ask Coach if you'd had the date right, and there you found all of us waiting for you with a surprise party.If you had gone somewhere else, I dunno what we would have done."

Alan chuckled fondly at the memory.It certainly had been an interesting birthday, though one that had turned out to be an absolute blast."This year was better, though," he announced."I mean, I got a party and a whole day with you.What could be better?"

J returned Alan's warm smile."I agree.Same with my birthday."

***

45 minutes later, when Coach, Sheryl, and Mr. McConnell returned, they found Alan and J curled up on the couch in front of a dying fire, fast asleep.J's head was on Alan's shoulder, his head resting on top of hers.The scrapbook was lying beside them."Should we wake them?" Sheryl whispered.

"I don't really have the heart," answered Coach.

"It's okay, let them sleep," Gregory decided."Send J back home in the morning."And that Coach did.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

            The rest of Alan and J's junior year passed smoothly and blissfully.  The only event of slightest notability until the end of their senior year was summer vacation '72.  As usual, J and her father went down to the shore.  Coach was taking Alan and Sheryl up to New Jersey.  They were going to stop at a couple of places there (Coach had a lot of friends in that state for some reason).

            Then, Gregory pulled a surprise of his daughter.  He announced that they were leaving a week early, because he had to go to a conference for his work.  This conference was in New York City.  He and his colleagues would be at a hotel all day, and J would be free to roam the city ONLY IF she found someone else to go with her.  Which her father didn't think would be hard, seeing as how there would be others there with their families.

***

            Alan and Sheryl finished loading the last of their luggage in the car, and returned inside to wait for Coach to check out.  Unfortunately, there was a bit of a line at the reception desk—there were a lot of people coming to check in to the hotel—so it looked like they would have a little delay.  Sighing, Alan and Sheryl settled down into a couch to wait.

***

            "Secaucus, New Jersey?  I don't get it.  I thought that you said that the conference was in the city."

            "We're only 10 minutes, if that much, outside of New York," Gregory answered as he pulled into the parking lot.  "They decided to hold the conference here instead.  This hotel is just as large as the one in the city that they were going to use, but the traffic isn't as bd."  J's heart skipped a beat when she spotted a car resembling the Yoast's in the parking lot.  Hope flared in her eyes for a second, but was reduced to embers when reality hit.  _'What are the chances?'_ thought J glumly.

***

            Alan's head was lolling off to the side when Sheryl elbowed him sharply in the ribs.  "Alan!" she hissed.  

            Alan rubbed his still heavy eyes, struggling to wake up.  "Wha?"

            Sheryl pointed towards the door.  "Look!"  All fog in Alan's mind cleared instantly.  There, walking through the door that her father held open for her, was J.  The blonde youth was frozen in shock for a moment before jumping out of his seat, Sheryl's overjoyed smile following him.

***

            J had just walked through the lobby door when she heard a familiar voice behind her that sent tremors of recognition through her body.  "Hello, stranger."  Before she had a chance to react, familiar arms picked her up and whirled her around and around in circles.  When she was finally released, J launched herself into his arms with a delighted cry,

            "Alan!"  There they stood for awhile, reveling in being together again, after being apart for so long.  _(yes, a whole week.  gosh, that's just forever, isn't it?  hehe…sorry)_  Alan rested his chin on the top of her head, breathing in the scent of her hair.  It may just have been ordinary shampoo, but to him, it was heavenly.  It meant her.  Being close to her.  

            "Hey, Jules," he whispered.  When the couple drew back, they noticed their fathers' grinning faces, observing them.

            "The two of you had this whole thing planned out, didn't you?" accused J was she let go of Alan, though she established a hold on his hand.  

            "Your father and I were discussing vacation, and realized that we both were going to end up in/near Secaucus at relatively the same time," Coach explained. 

            "So, I told Coach here," Gregory slapped Coach on the back, "the name of the hotel that my conference was being held in, and we worked things out.  We scheduled an entire day for all of us together."  From the shine emanating from J, Sheryl, and Alan's faces, Coach and Gregory were certain that they'd done good. 

***

            'Twas a wonderful day. The group wandered throughout the streets of Secaucus for the afternoon, catching lunch at a cute little restaurant and doing much window shopping, though hardly any actual buying.  For the evening, Coach and Gregory had reservations at a medieval-themed restaurant.  Everyone had a fantastic experience there, especially J, who was overjoyed with the prospect of the absence of any utensils. 

            Unfortunately, the day had to end.  However, it ended later than planned because Sheryl refused to let go of J who refused to let go of Alan.  Once they were finally, tearfully, unattached, each departed, soon to see each other again (in a week).  Though you couldn't tell from the somber mood of the parting.

***

            Coach woke with a start.  His eyes drifted to the clock: 6:30 a.m.  Sheryl or Alan won't be awake yet.  They had driven late into the night in order to reach their motel in mid-south Jersey.  There was an uneasy feeling in Coach's stomach that had woken him up.  Something wasn't right.

            Coach glanced over at the kids.  There was Sheryl, fast asleep.  And Alan—wait—where was Alan?  His uneasiness mounting, Coach lifted the covers and got out of bed.  A few quick steps and he was over at the bathroom.  No Alan.  There, on the bed table, was a note.

_            Coach,_

_Don't worry about me.  I'm just fine.  I can't get her out of my mind, Coach.  So I'm taking my stuff and I'm catching a bus to Secaucus.  Yesterday, J's father mentioned that his company set him up in a big suite, and that they'd have a whole separate room with a sofa-bed.  I'll call you when I get there so you'll know that I'm fine.  Thanks for understanding…and for being such a great dad.  See you soon!_

_--Alan_

Shaking his head, Coach couldn't help but smile despite his worry.  Those two were going to be very happy someday.

***

            Gregory felt guilty.  He had promised his daughter that she'd have something to do the entire day while he was in meetings.  But as it turned out, he was the only one who had brought any family members remotely near J's age with him.  Now J was stuck in the hotel room, suite or no suite, until he was free from his meetings.  His daughter was currently off sulking in the bathroom.  From the spraying sounds, she was in the shower.  Mr. McConnell was about to get ready to leave when there was a knock at the door.

            Assuming that it was the maid, Gregory strolled over and stated while opening the door, "My daughter is in the bathroom right now, but you still can—" he stopped when he saw Alan standing there, suitcase in hand.

            "Hi, Mr. McConnell."  Gregory sighed.  This boy…he still couldn't get Alan to call him Gregory.  But Alan loved and respected J, and that's what counted.

            "Hello, Alan.  May I ask what you're doing here?"  No, wait," Gregory massaged his temples, "I know what you're doing here.  The better question would be: does Coach know that you're here?"

            Alan switched the hand that that was holding his suitcase uncomfortably.  "Well…I left him a note…"  

            Gregory couldn't hide his smile, "I guess that's as close as we're gonna get."  He waved Alan into the room.  "Come in, come in.  J's in the bathroom.  Why don't you call Coach and let him know that you're here while you're waiting."

            After Alan was finished on the phone with Coach, Gregory checked his watch and grimaced.  "I have to get a move-on or I'll be late for the first meeting."  He addressed Alan, "you two go ahead and do what you want.  Catch a bus into the city, wander around, but BE CAREFUL."

            Alan nodded, "yes, Mr. McConnell."  Gregory acknowledged this with a slap on the back.  Before leaving, he rapped on the bathroom door.

            "Red, sweetie?"

            "Yeah, Dad?" 

            "I'm going to the meeting now.  I found someone for you to walk around with."  Alan had to stifle a laugh at that.  "If you want, you can do that, okay?  I'm leaving now."

            "Okay, Dad," came the reply.  Gregory gave Alan a final wave before exiting the room.  Alan had only to wait a couple minutes before J emerged from the bathroom.  Her hair was wet and she was wearing simple jean shorts with a t-shirt.  She walked right past Alan and over to her bed before noticing him.  When J finally did realize that Alan was there, her face was etched with disbelief.

            "Wha?  But—you—" 

            Alan grinned and moved to sit closer to where she was standing.  "I left the motel where we were, got on a bus, and came here," he explained.  "After seeing you yesterday, I couldn't stand it.  I need to be next to you."  

            J managed a small smile.  "That's great!  Now I won't be alone today." 

             Alan placed a hand on his chest in mock-hurt.  "That's it?  That's all you have to say to me after what I just did?"

            J sighed, "You know me.  It's too early.  Give me a couple of hours, and then all of a sudden I'll just start shrieking and hugging you till your face turns blue."

            Alan stood up and leaned in to place a light kiss on her lips.  "That's good.  It is too early for you.  I'd be worried if you reacted any other way."

***

            In another 15 minutes, Alan was situated and J was ready to go.  They took an elevator (J was still waking up) down from their 5th floor room, then hopped a bus to the city.  Should I go into all the juicy details of their gallivanting through America's largest city?  Nah…I'll let you guess.  Anyhew, they visited Central Park, wandered around Madison Square Gardens, and eventually made their way to the Brooklyn Bridge.  By this time, J was fully awake.  

            "Alan, c'mon, let's go on the Bridge!" J tugged on Alan's arm.  She looked up at him pleadingly, and was rewarded with a,

            "why not?"

            "Yes!" she cried.  J dragged Alan onto and across the Bridge until they reached the center. Ignoring the roaring sound of the cars whizzing past, J leaned over the edge of the Bridge and bellowed, "AAAAAAAHHHHHH!"  Entirely satisfied with herself, J stood back up and beamed at her utterly perplexed boyfriend.  

            "What…was…that…for? he asked slowly.

            J shrugged, "I dunno.  It was fun, though.  You should try it with me."

            Alan gazed unbelievingly back at J.  "You're kidding me, right?"

            J grinned, "of course not.  I'm dead serious.  It's really fun, trust me.  It's not like it's illegal, and besides, no one can hear you over all the traffic anyway." 

            Alan chewed on his bottom lip—a sign that he was contemplating the decision. "Oh, alright."

            J giggled, "Yey!  On three, okay?  One, two, three!"  She and Alan leaned over the Bridge,

            "AAAAHHHHH!"

***

            The rest of the week was much the same.  Alan and J spent their days in/around New York.  On their final day, they stayed in the hotel, running around from the pool to the weight room to their room to crash in front of the tv.  It was their goal to buy something from each one of the vending machines in the hotel, which they accomplished.

***

            _Let's hit the fast forward button again, shall we?  Alan and J had a spectacular senior year, and as for the Titans, well, I'm not quite sure how they did.  But I'm positive that they did great.  How could they not, with the best team in high school history?  That's my opinion, anyway.  But once again, that really isn't part of our story._

_            Senior Prom.  Kelly and I have had a lot of discussions on this particular topic.  I still do not see the purpose of attending such an event if one does not enjoy dressing up and spending 4 hours dancing.  If anyone can explain the concept/purpose of Senior Prom to me, I'd love to hear what you have to say.  Who knows…someone might finally help me to understand it.  But enough of that.  There's a story to be told, and I'm sure that you're sick of listening to me ramble._

***

            Senior Prom.  Usually J wasn't much for dances, and she was completely against the popularity contest idea of Prom King and Queen, but it meant a whole night with Alan, so there was no complaining.  The prom started at 7:30.  Alan was at J's house at 7:20.  J wanted to arrive "fashionably late" as she called it.  Normally Alan was one of those people who was compulsively early.  But for J…what was the harm?  A little late wasn't going to hurt anything.  

            Alan shifted uncomfortably on the coach and glimpsed at Mr. McConnell, who was sitting across from him in an armchair.  Alan was on great terms with J's father, but there was something about being the date of Daddy's little girl on prom night that had him nervous…

            Gregory glanced at Alan, shook his head, and smiled.  "This is the part where I'm supposed to tell you that I know every cop in the city, right?"

            Alan's head snapped up and he stuttered, "Well, um, I…"

            Gregory laughed.  "It's alright, Alan.  Don't worry.  I've known you since before you could walk.  I trust you.  Besides, Red could beat you up if she had the mind to."

            Alan grinned, relieved.  "Yes, Mr. McConnell, she could."  He didn't have time to add anything else for at the next second, he heard familiar footsteps on the stairs.  _(Alright, cliché moment.  But it's such a cute cliché!)_  The breath caught in Alan's throat in a stifled gasp as J descended the stairwell.  Her hair tumbled down to just past her shoulders in a tangle of wild curls.  Her dress was a deep forest green, sleeveless and form-fitting that gleamed as it captured the light.

            J beamed at Alan when she reached the bottom of the steps.  "You ready to go?"  

            Alan worked his jaw as he fumbled to hand her what he was holding.  "Uh, Jules, you're—here!" he stated triumphantly upon managing to hand her the box.  J opened it and pulled out a halo of flowers.

            "It's gorgeous, Alan, thank you!"

            "Here, let me put it on for you," Alan offered, affixing it perfectly amidst her curls.  J hadn't wanted a wrist corsage—she found them outdated.  Alan had been hard-pressed to find her something else, but, evidentially, he'd done good.  

            Alan stood back and gazed at her.  "You're beautiful, Jules."  

            J grinned and kissed his cheek.  "You don't look too shabby yourself."  

            Gregory held the door open for the couple as they walked out.  "Have fun, the both of you!"

            "We will, Dad," J called over her shoulder as she headed to the car, arm entwined with Alan's.

***

            The dance was going full force now.  Alan and J had danced together several times, both and slow and fast songs.  It was about then that J decided it was time for a change of pace.  She told Alan to go and find one of his friends and hang out for a little bit while she searched for Gerry.  There he was—in his wheelchair, off to the side, sulking.  J jogged over to him.  "Hey!" she chirped.

            "Hi, J," replied Gerry, unable to hide the downer in his voice.

            "Aren't you gonna dance with me?  You promised me a dance at my senior prom years ago," asked J accusingly.  "You are my big brother and all."  

            Gerry chuckled sarcastically and gestured to his wheelchair.  "One problem."

            J's eyes flashed with defiance.  "That's what you think.  Hold on a sec--I'll be right back," and she dashed off.   J ran through the school hallway till she reached the nurse's office, which was thankfully unlocked (security wasn't as tight back in the early 70's).  She seized an object out of the corner of the office and dragged it behind her as she made her way back to the gym.

            Panting, J reached Gerry and flopped down in what she had brought with her—a wheelchair.  "There.  Now we're even," she announced.  Gerry glanced over and rolled his eyes.

            "You're kidding me, right?"

            "Of course not," J answered, wounded.  "I'm getting a dance out of you whether or not you like it, and I'm not gonna just forget it because you're feeling sorry for yourself.  Now c'mon," she grabbed Gerry's hands and immediately began spinning in the wheelchair.  After a few seconds of this, Gerry couldn't hold up anymore, and he burst out laughing.

            "I don't see what's so funny," declared J indignantly.  "I'm only getting my dance out of you that you promised me about.  I don't take excuses."  Gerry stated at J, grinning widely, still spinning with her.  That was all it took.  J promptly cracked up as well.   When the song was over, Gerry bowed (as much as one can in a wheelchair)

            "Thank you for the dance, m'lady."

            J giggled and curtsied, "'twas my pleasure, good sir."

***

            The night wore on.  It was an hour until they announced Prom King and Queen, and the recipients of the other assorted awards.  J was bored.  Suddenly, she noticed a long brown haired, brown-eyed girl in a crimson dress standing off to the side.  Alan's sister Adrienne. A plan formulated in J's brain.  A mischievous smile snuck onto her face.  She nudged Alan.  "Hey, Alan?" the youth turned to her.

            "What?"  He noticed her smile.  "No.  Whatever it is—no.  I'm not getting involved in another one of your crazy schemes."

            "Alan, please?" J stuck out her bottom lip and widened her eyes in a perfect puppy-dog plead.  "Just go and ask Adrienne to dance.  You haven't danced with her yet.  You should be ashamed.  She's your sister and everything."

            Alan eyed his girlfriend suspiciously.  "And what, exactly, do you have up your sleeve?  This is more than just you giving Sunshine the dance that you promised him."

            J grinned affectionately.  "You know me too well.  In the middle of the song, you cut in, take me, and leave Adrienne with Sunshine."

            "Oh, so we're playing matchmakers, then."

            J's eyes sparkled in merriment.  "Yup."

            "Well, then, I guess I'm going to have to play along."  Alan crossed the dance floor and offered an arm to Adrienne.  J observed as the girl glanced at her, then back to Alan, grinned, and accepted the arm.  J gave a thumbs up, then searched the gym until she found Sunshine.  He was by the refreshment table, stuffing his face.  J headed over towards him and pulled him onto the dance floor.  

            "Come on, California boy.  It's time for the dance that I promised you."

            Sunshine's face was a mixture of confusion and surprise.  "What happened to Alan?"

            J shrugged.  "Dunno.  Finding something else to do for this song.  I promised you a dance when we were dating, and I keep my promises."  Right about then, Alan waltzed over with Adrienne.  Deftly, he reached over and grabbed J's hand, placed Adrienne's in Sunshine's, and twirled J away.

            "May I cut in?" he asked belatedly.  J laughed at the gaping mouths of Sunshine and Adrienne, still flustered from what had just happened.  They recovered quickly, however.  

            "Umm…care to dance?" queried Sunshine.

            "I guess so," said Adrienne bashfully.  Her cheeks slightly red—she's never dreamed she'd get a dance with Ronnie "Sunshine" Bass at her Senior Prom—Adrienne began to dance timidly with the oh-so suave Sunshine.  Although one certainly couldn't tell, he was just as nervous inside as Adrienne was.  Now off the dance floor, Alan and J watched the pair—who had just started a conversation—victoriously.  

            "Nice work, Cupid." J congratulated, squeezing Alan's hand.

            Alan rolled his eyes at "Cupid," but played along.  "Now, now, you deserve some credit too, my Romeo."

            "Romeo?  Where'd you come up with that one?"

            Alan laughed, recalling the memory.  "I remember a certain someone sneaking up to my window—balcony for argument's sake—in the middle of the night to declare her undying love for me."

            J crinkled her nose.  "Romeo, huh?  I guess I could get used to that."

***

            By the stage, Rev had just finished counting all the votes for the various awards being presented that night.  A broad grin spread across his face and he waved Gerry over to him.  "Hey Gerry, c'mere!  Not that I'm surprised, but Alan and J won the "It's About Time" award," he whispered when Gerry reached him.  

            Gerry took one look at the results and said, "they're gone."  

            Confusion splayed about Rev's face.  "They're gone?  What d'ya mean?"

            "I mean they're not gonna stick around.  Look," Gerry pointed to the couple.  J had a pensive look on her face.  "She's thinking about it already.  You know how much J hates these student-voted awards.  She finds them superficial.  As soon as the ceremony starts, she's leaving.  She'll probably go run around the parking lot to get her energy out.  And you know Alan, he'll follow her anywhere."

            The grin returned to Rev's face.  "Yeah…you're right."

***

            Right Gerry was.  No sooner had the principal climbed up on the stage and announced that it was time for the ceremonies to begin when J tugged on Alan's arm.  "Let's go," she hissed.  

            Alan glanced up to the stage, then back to her.  "We're going?  Okay.  Which way?"

            "I dunno.  We can wander around the school or something.  Does it really matter?  Spontaneity is fun."  Alan shrugged and allowed himself to be pulled out of the gym.  They ran through the hallways until J reached the door to the parking lot.  She flung it open, only to find that it was pouring rain.  "Ooh, let's go outside!" exclaimed J excitedly.  Alan did a double take.  He'd seen J do some crazy things before—admittedly he'd danced with her in the rain in the past—but…

            "Uh, J?  What about your hair?  And your dress?"

            J appeared unconcerned.  "I'm only gonna wash my hair when I get home anyway to get all the spray out, and it's not like I'm ever gonna wear this dress again."  With that, she scampered out into the rain.

            "My tux…" Alan called after her weakly, knowing that he was fighting a losing battle.

            "Oh, Alan, just get out here!  You found that tux up in Coach's attic and promptly wore it after I told you how unbelievably handsome you look in it.  So it's not like you have to return it.  And the rain isn't cold or anything, so just come over here!"  Sighing, Alan jogged over to meet his girlfriend.

***

            Inside, the principal was tearing open the envelope that held the results to the 'It's About Time' award.  "And the winners are…Alan Yoast and J McConnell!"  There was applause and cheers that died in a few moments after no one came up to receive the award.  Rev jumped onto the stage, took the microphone, and stated,

            "Alan and J have left the building.  I repeat, Alan and J  have left the building."  That was followed by laughter, and Gerry's voice could be heard in the background.

            "See, I told you!"  And I'll bet that you can find them out dancing in the parking lot!"

***

            Yet again, Gerry was correct.  Utterly soaked by now, but not caring, the couple were having the most fun that they'd had all night.  J had left the door open, so soon they heard the music from the dance drifting to their ears.  "Alan, listen," breathed J.  "They're playing the song for Prom King and Queen.  I love this song."

            Alan pulled her close.  "Dance with me."  J willingly obliged.  Before she knew it, Alan was singing along to the music softly in her ear.

_If I could save time in a bottle_

_The first thing that I'd like to do_

_Is to save every day_

_Till Eternity passes away_

_Just to spend them with you._

_If I could make days last forever_

_If words could make wishes come true_

_I'd save every day like a treasure and then_

_Again, I would spend them with you_

The rain continued to pour down on Alan and J, but the dripping wet couple continued dancing.  J sighed contentedly and lay her head on Alan's shoulder.  Alan stroked her hair and continued singing.

_But there never seems to be enough time_

_To do the things you want to do_

_Once you find them_

_I've looked around enough to know_

_That you're the one I want to go_

_Through time with._

_If I had a box just for wishes_

_And dreams that had never come true_

_The box would be empty_

_Except for the memory_

_Of how they were answered by you._

_But there never seems to be enough time_

_To do the things you want to do_

_Once you find them_

_I've looked around enough to know_

_That you're the one I want to go_

_Through time with._

When the song was finished, J lifted her head to meet Alan's eyes.  She raised his hand to her lips, kissing it.  "I love you."  

            Alan gazed deeply into her eyes, then caressed her cheek.  Gently, he kissed her.  When they broke away, he responded.  "I love you too."

It was only the calm before the storm.

_Muahahaha!  Review!  Or we won't post what happens next.  Bwahahaha._


	8. The Space Between (part 1)

Chapter 8

Disclaimer—all the characters except for j and her father belong to Disney.  The song "the space between" belongs to the dave matthews band.  Umm…Concoran College of Art and Design and Bridgewater College are real colleges.  They belong to themselves.  Not sure if we need a disclaimer for those, either…but still, please don't sue us!

_WOHOO!  BACK TO THE PLOT!  FINALLY BACK TO THE PLOT!  Alright, as much as I enjoy sappy stuff, I have to admit that I was beginning to get tired of writing it as I'm sure many of you were getting tired of reading it.  But now we have a plot!  YAAAY!_  _Also, the town of __Bridgewater__ is about 3 hours from DC, just for those of you that are wondering.  Oh, and yes, I know that I use the lyrics to "the space between" out of order, and that does make it seem kind of weird, but different parts of the song match with different parts of the story, so that's why it is the way it is._

Chapter 8

"The Space Between (part 1)"

            AN--Graduation was a blast, full of wonderful memories, yadda yadda yadda.  We need to pick up the pace here because this thing is already 44 pages and we're just barely reaching the middle, if even that far.  

_These fickle fuddled words confuse me_

_Like 'will it rain today?'_

_We waste the hours with talking, talking_

_These twisted games we're playing_

It's the end of June and Alan and J have never seriously discussed their college plans with each other.  Neither, especially Alan, have fully registered what the other is planning for college.  Dumb, right?  Probably.  They've just been enjoying each other's company and discussing trivial things.  Both have a picture of their futures, and those pictures conflict.  Enter the storm…

_You cannot quit me so quickly_

_There's no hope in you for me_

_No corner you could squeeze me_

_But I've got all the time for you, love…_

            "Checkmate."  

            Alan's head slumped down on the Yoast's dining room table in defeat, hiding the smile on his face, as Sheryl gave J a high-five with a triumphant cry.  "Yes!"

            "Oh yeah," J chortled.  "Third straight win for the girls.  Face it Alan," J said to the dejected figure, "we're the masters."

            Alan raised his head, grinning.  "Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Maybe at chess.  But if it was checkers, I'd whip you."

            "Sure you would," J's tone was patronizing, and she drew out the first word slowly.  When Sheryl caught the mischief twinkling in J's eyes, she rolled her own eyes, entered the living room, and turned on the television.  

            Alan glanced out at Sheryl, then back at J.  "You scared her off."

            J's face was angelic, complimented by the tendrils of loose hair that drifted down to her face from the messy bun in which she had pulled up her hair.  "Who, me?"  Alan laughed then stood up and leaned against the edge of the table, watching Sheryl.  J copied his action.  There they remained, unmoving, for a few silent moments before Alan lazily commented,

            "We're going to have so much fun in the city this fall."  J turned to him and smiled, but didn't reply.  "I've got a scholarship to Concoran College of Art and Design," Alan continued, "but I'm sure you knew that already.  Gerry and Julius are going to end up in/around D.C. too.  And of course, you and I…" Alan trailed off.

            "We can write, right?" J interrupted, voice a little shaky.  "And there's always the phone.  I mean, we're both going to be busy, I'm sure, but we'll make time."  

            Alan chuckled and addressed her carefully, as if talking to a younger child or someone who is completely confused.  "Of course, we COULD do that.  But I was thinking more along the lines of seeing each other quite often."

            J nodded, visibly uncomfortable.  "Oh yeah, definitely.  Well, I don't know about QUITE often…" she broke off and began talking more to herself than to Alan.  "I've had time to think about and deal with this, and I've known that it was coming for a year or so, but I've never been that far from you ever for an extended period of time."

            "Whoa, whoa," Alan interrupted, putting his hands on J's shoulders and turning her to face him.  "What are you talking about?"  One could tell that J was distressed with the subject, but she suddenly realized that Alan had no clue what was really going on, and she had to tell him.

            "Alan…" she began hesitantly.  Alan watched her patiently, still in the dark, his perfect painting of the future still unblemished, but soon to be soiled.  "I got that scholarship offer to Bridgewater College, in their music department, remember?"

            Alan nodded, only a few seconds of perfection left.  "Yeah, I remember.  I knew you were seriously considering…" he gazed into J's eyes, not liking what he saw there.  "But you're not…" Alan stopped, smile fading, having found an answer.  "What?" he finally managed to say.

            "Alan, I'm sorry," J responded, struggling to keep the pain from her voice.  "But I thought you knew.  I told you, don't you remember?  I took that one day to go visit Bridgewater, and it's really a great school, at least what I'm going there for, and that was such a good scholarship, I couldn't turn it down.  I mean…it's not like I'm all that far away, right?"  J searched Alan's eyes, but came up with only pain and a sense of betrayal.

            "It's away.  That's enough," Alan whispered.  "I thought…aren't we supposed to be together?  Don't you want us to be?"

            "Of course I do, more than anything."

            Alan pulled himself away from the table.  "Than why are you going away?"

            J pursed her lips, trying to find an answer that Alan would understand.  "Because…'cause this is too good of an opportunity to pass up!"  Alan's shoulders stiffened, but J cut him off before he could get a word in.  "It's no different if Concoran was up north, I'd understand if you still wanted to go there.  It's the perfect college for you and I wouldn't want to stand in the way of what this college can do for you.  Bridgewater isn't even that far away!  A few hours at most!"  J had started out sad, but now she was angry.  Alan was being unreasonable.  It was really sweet how much he wanted to be near her, but why couldn't he understand?  Separate colleges did not equal breaking up.

            Alan started pacing back and forth, voice rising.  "I can barely stand to be 3 feet away from you, let alone 3 hours!"  There's plenty of really good schools with music majors in DC, why can't you go to one of them?  Why does it have to be Bridgewater?"  By this time, all sympathy that J had had for Alan vanished.  He had ignited her temper, and there was no going back now, especially with Alan mad as well.

            "Why does it have to be Bridgewater?!"  J's stern tone caught the attention of Sheryl in the other room, who diverted her attention from the television to observe the fateful situation unfolding before her.  "You know how much I hate the city, for one thing.  I DID check out some colleges in DC, but none of them worked for me!  Bridgewater did.  You know—" J stuck her finger out accusingly at Alan, "I could use the same argument with you.  Why does it have to be Concoran?  Bridgewater has a good art program!"

            Alan's lips curled under his teeth in frustration and he paused for a moment, exasperated, before replying.  "Because Concoran is better for my future!"

            "And Bridgewater is better for mine!" J threw back, pitch high.  By this time, Sheryl realized that this was more than your little spat, and an upset and foreboding feeling settled in her stomach.  Yet, she could not tear her eyes from the scene.  

            "So you care more about your future than about me?" Alan shot.  

            His barb struck, and J's eyes were hazel fire.  "WHERE did you get that idea?  It certainly wasn't from me!  We can go to different colleges and still have a future together!  If we care enough, we'll make it work!"

            Alan was trembling in fury, his hurt forgotten once his temper was provoked.  "I'm not so sure I want to work on a future with someone who's so self-absorbed!"

            J clenched her fists together heatedly, taking all of her energy not to scream back.  "And I'm not so sure I want to work on a future with someone with such a one-track mind who makes assumptions so quickly!"  At this point, Alan and J's shouts had reached a decibel that caught the attention of Coach, who had been working in his office.  He had heard muffled yelling earlier, but assumed they were just playing around.  What was going now did not sound like playing around.

            Coach exited his office hurriedly, making his way to the living room just as J stormed out.  "FINE!" she bellowed in a final retort before stomping down the driveway.  

            Alan dashed over to the door and hollered, "FINE!" after her.  He then stamped up the stairs and retreated to his room, giving the door a thunderous slam.  Coach glanced to Sheryl for clarification of what just happened.  She held his gaze, tears in her eyes, and shook her head back and forth slowly, an immensely troubled tone to her face along with the sadness.

***

_Look at us spinning out in the madness of a roller coaster_

_You know you went off like the devil_

_ in a church in the middle of a crowded room_

_all we can do, my love_

_is hope we don't take this ship down_

            Alan and J did not speak for the rest of the summer.  It was impossible to completely avoid someone when you live in the same small town and had virtually all of the same friends, but an iceberg moved in between the former couple.  The chill was evident whenever the two were in the same vicinity.  

            This affected Sheryl greatly.  Alan was her brother and J was like her older sister.  The world was at its peak for Sheryl when Alan and J were dating, and their break-up scared her immensely.  It took J much soothing to convince Sheryl that whatever was going on between her and Alan would never affect her and Sheryl's relationship.  

            At the end of the summer, Alan went to Concoran and J went to Bridgewater.  

***

_The space between_

_The tears we cry_

_Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more_

_The space between_

_The wicked lies we tell and hope to keep safe from the pain_

_But will I hold you again? _

            Four years of college.  J majored in Vocal and Instrumental music, mainly guitar and piano, with experience to teach.  Alan received a professional bachelor of fine arts in fine arts with a minor in photography.  

            Four years of no contact.  For the first year or so, Alan and J were still too angry with one another to even thinking about any form of communication.  After their sophomore year of college, however, there were many occurrences on which the one picked up the phone with intentions of calling the other, only to slam it back down seconds later, either having lost the nerve or suddenly remembering that neither had each other's new phone numbers.  Alan or J could have easily gotten  each other's phone numbers from any number of their mutual friends, but both were too scared.  And so their lives after college continued.

            J immediately moved back to Alexandria after college.  Remembering her high school days as the best years of her life, J hoped to recapture that seemingly-unending joy that she had felt.  She became a music teacher at one of the local high schools, though not T.C. Williams.  "It'd be too weird, teaching where I was taught," she claimed.  Yet, the real reason for her not teaching at T.C. was that the school was too swathed in memories that were to potent and painful to handle.  

            However, if you dug to the last layer belongings in the bottom drawer of J's nightstand, you would fin a worn with use, tattering, hand-made book.  It's cover was blue cardboard and pages white, though all but the last 10 or so pages were filled with pictures and clippings and nostalgia.  On nights musty with memories you would find J digging to this bunk, pulling it out, and flipping through it with a bittersweet smile resting uncertainly on her face.

            Alan's  bachelor's degree in fine arts opened the doors to tons of career choices once he graduated.  After a touch of deliberation and a little bit of freelance work, he choose the field of art-restoration.  It was Alan's job to take old paintings, sculptures, drawings, etc, and do his best to make them appear as new as possible.  He bought a nice apartment in DC, and there he lived after college.

            Alan still drew in his free time—he even had a desk specifically for his works.  Often he was pressed for inspiration, because you can only take so much inspiration from what little nature there was in DC, and even war memorials meshed into the same piece after awhile.

            So when he could find nothing else to draw from, or when he was in one of those moods--on lonely weekend nights when the oldies station was playing and his mind couldn't help but drift back to Alexandria—Alan rummaged through a special drawer in his desk.  There he found every piece he'd drawn prior to college, mostly from high school, and every picture that did not make it's way into a certain book half a decade ago.  It was from those that Alan created his greatest works yet.

***

_We're strange allies_

_With warring hearts_

_What a wild-eyed beast you be_

            The four or so years following college were prosperous for both Alan and J.  They were as happy as possible under the circumstances.  There was still no communication between them, and anger slowly formed again, though not as strongly as before.  Aloofly, both believed that the other would have made contact by now if he/she cared enough too.  It had become a matter of pride, among other things.  Friends and family members learned not to mention one in the other's presence.  

            J and Alan were caught in the same web of selective thinking, and nothing in the world could change that.  Life proceeded normally.  Things seemed like they couldn't be better when they got much worse.  Gerry was killed.


	9. The Space Between (part 2)

I don't want to appear insensitive to Gerry's death, and I hope that that is clear in this chapter

_I don't want to appear insensitive to Gerry's death, and I hope that that is clear in this chapter. But I'm also caught because this story is about J and Alan, and all of the feelings that they're experiencing, not just grief. So I'm doing my best to strike a balance between their grief and everything else that they're feeling. I really hope that I'm doing a good job._

Chapter 9

The Space Between (Part 2)

_The space between_

_The wicked lies we tell _

_And hope to keep safe from the pain_

_But will I hold you again?_

Fall 1981

Neither Alan nor J took the news well, but who would expect them to? J collapsed sobbing when she received the message, whereas Alan never shed a tear. But then, he had bottled up all of his emotions for the past seven years. Both were too consumed with grief to even note that they would both, obviously, be at the funeral. That's not what's important. What's important, at least right now, is to honor Gerry. That was all that was on anyone's mind.

***

Alan struggled to keep the lump in his throat down as the Eulogy ended. Softly, Julius began singing the song that had become the anthem of the Titans at football camp all those years ago. The whole team joined in. 'Twas a fitting farewell. With legs and heart like lead, Alan forced himself to walk away, paying tribute, fervently praying that Gerry could hear all that his heart was screaming. He trudged back to the car, but he couldn't get in and drive away. Something was still out of place. He couldn't leave yet. Alan shook his head at Coach, who was his ride. Coach nodded in understanding and proceeded to leave. Alan stood back and let him.

Exhaust fumes stung his throat as Alan, in a daze, watched the cars somberly pull away. Alan gazed around, trying to find what was keeping him from making peace with Gerry's death.

_The space between_

_Where you smile and hide_

_Is where you'll find me if I get to go_

_The space between_

_The bullets in our firefight_

_Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you_

Then he saw it. Or her, to be precise. Before his brain could register what he was seeing, the world became fuzzy and Alan's mind's eye took over.

***

"Alan! Gerry! Guys, come on! Let me play!" Gerry and Alan stopped tossing the football back and forth long enough to answer the frustrated 7-year-old glaring at them.

"You can't play, Julie," stated Gerry matter-of-factly. 

"Why not?" Julie's voice clearly displayed her mounting anger. 

Alan shook his head, trying to dismiss her. "Because you're a girl." 

Julie's jaw set tightly. "What does me being a girl have to do with it? You guys used to let me play with you."

Gerry rolled his eyes and proceeded to continue his catch with Alan. "We didn't know any better then. Now—OOF!—" Gerry was not able to finish his sentence because before he knew it, Julie ran into, tackled, and pinned him to the ground. 

"I'm not so much of a girl anymore, am I?" she smirked. Alan stood by, football in hand, unable to decide whether or not to gape or laugh.

Julie spat out some hair that had wandered into her mouth. "I'm one of the guys now, got it? My name isn't Julie anymore—call me that and you'll get my fist in your face. From now on, my name is J." 

***

J blinked back the tears that had already dampened her face. That memory…when she'd first decided upon her nickname. She, Gerry, and Alan had been friends before that, but from that point on, they may as well have been joined at the hip, for there was no separating them. With a shuddering gasp, J lost the struggle she'd been waging not to cry even more.

***

_The rain that falls_

_Splash in your heart_

_Ran like sadness down the window into your room_

_The space between_

_Our wicked lies_

_Is where we hope to keep safe from pain_

The vision, the memory, faded from Alan's mind and freed him to see again. A leaf fell from a tree and fastened itself in her hair. Hair of the same beautiful autumn leaf color, only now instead of stopping at those perfect shoulders, it cascaded down to her smoothly curved elbows. "Jules," Alan breathed. She was gorgeous, having blossomed since high school. She stood, oblivious to her audience, in front of Gerry's grave. Her shoulders shook slightly; it was clear that she was fighting to hold back sobs.

For one heart-twisting moment, Alan stood, watching her. His feet were molded to the ground as an entire lifetime of flashbacks played through his mind. If J was looking at him, she would have seen a haunted but compassionate, intense but soft, gaze to Alan's eyes as any of the remaining negative emotions from the past seven years that he still held melted away. He couldn't hesitate a moment longer.

Ten or so striding steps and Alan was directly beside J. He paused just long enough to drink in the vibrations that came from being so close to her after being apart for so long. Without a second thought, he wrapped his arms around her. Alan felt J tense for a second before she realized who it was, then she relaxed, all of her anger gone as well. There was an instant of indecision before J buried her head in the crook of Alan's arm and let her tears seep to his jacket. In turn, Alan lay his chin across the back of her head. Together, they let Gerry go. Together, they stored Gerry in their hearts. Together they mourned, together they cried.

When the tears ceased and the burden lessened, Alan pulled away enough from J so he could speak. "Give me your keys. Give me your keys, let me drive you home."

***

_Take my hand_

_'Cause we're walking out of here_

_Oh, right out of here_

_Love is all we need, dear, here_

Alan smoothed the car to a stop in front of the small but inviting suburban home silently pointed out by J. They quietly got out of the car and walked up to the front door. As J stuck her key in the lock, Alan rocked back on his heels. "So…"

"So are you coming in or not?" J asked as she pushed the door open. 

Alan stared after her retreating figure, stammering. "What? Well, I, uh—in?"

J turned, laughter sparkling in her eyes and lilting in her voice. "Yes, in, silly. You kind of missed your ride with Coach. You're going to need somewhere to stay until someone comes to get you."

Alan's cheeks colored and his mouth curved upwards in an embarrassed smile. "Oh, yeah, okay." He ducked his head and shuffled meekly into the house. 

***

An hour later found Alan waiting on the couch as J heated some water to make them tea. (J had one of those kitchen/living rooms that is really one big room and no one can tell where one ends and the other begins.) Alan had tried calling Coach a number of times in the past hour, but there hadn't been an answer. 

All of a sudden, J glanced up from what she was doing just as Alan leapt from his seat. Her eyes locked with his, and she was confronted with a haunted but compassionate, intense but soft, gaze that was strangely familiar. "You know what went through my head as I saw you again, for the first time in so long?" Alan whispered. Transfixed, J shook her head, and Alan did not wait for a vocal answer. "I saw years of life, our life, go by. From when we were babies running around in diapers together to our first kiss. It led to me wonder what possible reason there could be for Gerry's death. I couldn't find one. Then I figured, Gerry would want some good to come out of this. And there was only one thing I could think of: you. Me and you."

Alan stopped, not able to tear his eyes from J's. She leapt from her spot and answered him in a way that even he wasn't expecting.

_The space between_

_What's wrong and right_

_Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you_

_The space between_

_Your heart and mine_

_Is the space we'll fill with time_

_The space between…_

_Muahahaha…I think we'll end it there. And just a little note to all you happy readers, it's gonna take awhile until you see chp. 10, b/c I have a report for english. Plus, I'll be busy writing an alternate chapter 9 just for jel. It's seriously au, even more than this story is, and not exactly all that pretty. If any of you are really interested in it, email me ([gabby-kora@juno.com][1]) and I'll send it your way once I'm done. Till then, review or I may decide just not to post chp. 10._

   [1]: mailto:gabby-kora@juno.com



	10. Chapter 10

Hey

_Hey!  I just wanted to drop by here and tell everyone to go read Jel's new story, Walking On.  It's a totally awesome fic; I was glued to the computer screen while reading it.  WO takes a separate path from Forever and Beyond, but Jel, Kelly, and I are all cool with that and still continue to totally support each other in everything you do.  So enjoy chp. 10, then GO READ Walking On!!_

Chapter 10

            J sprung from her place in a fluid movement, flung her arms about Alan's neck, and kissed him…on the cheek.  "I was thinking the exact same thing!"

            Alan grinned broadly, relieved.  "Good."  They spent the entire night reliving their childhood.  The couch and nostalgia became the center of the world as they discussed everything to discuss—except for one topic.  Gerry was the focus of most of their conversations.  As the first pink rays of the sun sparkled in the dew, J glanced over at Alan.  He sat in his woolen-socked feet (shoes had been discarded hours ago), a serene tone to his features as he tried not to drift off to sleep.  Romeo, J's black Labrador puppy, was resting with his head on Alan's feet.

            "Romeo's really taken to you," J murmured.

            Alan jolted, then turned his head to her and smiled.  "It's just the socks.  Hercules loves them."  

            J's eyes glinted curiously.  "Hercules?"  

            The corner's of Alan's mouth curled.  "He's my roommate of-sorts.  I was on my way back from work one day and I heard the most pitiful mewing.  I dug around in an alley and there he was.  All dirty and…I took him home, fed him, gave him a bath—that was an adventure and a half.  He turned out to be orange tabby under of that dirt.  I took him to the vet, got all of his shots…"

            J's face was soft.  "That's so sweet of you!  How big is he?"

            Alan shrugged.  "About your average kitten size.  I've only had him for a month or so."  He tried to make a proportion with his hands.  "He's just barely too big to fit in one hand.  He can fit in both hands, though.  I've got pictures I can show you."

            J stretched, yawned, and asked, "You've drawn him?"

            Alan nodded, "a few times.  It's hard, though.  He's a little ball of energy.  I've had more luck with the camera."

            "You'll have to let me see them sometime," J said with a grin.  "I can't wait to see all of your work.  I thought your stuff back in  high school was great; now you have a master's degree and a fancy job in DC.  I can't wait to see everything you've done."

            Alan blushed as he reached down to scratch Romeo behind the ears.  "It's really not as glamorous as it sounds.  I envy what you've got here, actually.  I miss the small-town lifestyle.  I want to move back here."

            J's eyebrows lifted a little as she began chewing on her tongue.  "Hmmm…"

            "What is it?" asked Alan, absentmindedly massaging the top of Romeo's head.

            "A friend of mine from work, he's looking for a roommate.  Give me a second and I'll write down his number for you."

            Alan nodded, "okay," as J stood up and disappeared into her room.  Moments later she emerged, a slip of paper in her hand.  She walked over to Alan, who took it and put in his pocket.  "Thanks,"

            J chewed on her lip, then blurted, "we can't keep avoiding it, Alan, we NEED to talk about it!"

            "About what?" Alan responded.

            J placed her hands casually on her hips and stared back at Alan with eyes that clearly said, _'You know what.'_

            "Oh."  Alan sighed heavily and sunk back onto the couch.  J followed him.  "So…" Alan began.  "Well, we both know that we're not mad at each other anymore."

            J smiled and nudged Alan's grey wool feet with her own cotton white ones.  "Yeah, I think we figured that out already."  Her expression turned more serious.  "But that only scratched the surface of our little problem.  What do we do?  We had a fight, and were both so stubborn and proud that we didn't speak again for 7 years.  We've changed so much…we're different people now."

            Alan shifted in his seat and licked his lips uncomfortably.  "But we still get along really well; not everything about us has changed.  I think we proved that.  We did enough talking last night to make up for 7 years."

            "I know we did," J protested.  "But we have to decide where we stand.  I don't…I don't want to rush into things so fast that we end up fighting again.  We need time to adjust to the changes that we've both gone through, to get to know the new parts of each other.  All I know is…I don't want to lose you again."

            Alan was silent for a moment as he locked eyes with J, relishing in her company as she was relishing in his.  "And I don't want to lose you."

***

            J's friend from work turned out to be the principal of Hayfield High School.  In a few weeks, Alan had sold his apartment, and he and Hercules moved in with the principal, Dr. Michael Johnson, just "Mike" to any of his friends.  A week after he and Alan became roommates, Mike became a member of a covert conspiracy designed to get Alan and J back together.

            Also "in" on the conspiracy were Coach (both Coaches, actually), Mrs. Bertier, Sheryl, and Sunshine, among others.   Mike decided to join one day as he was rummaging through the kitchen, Alan away visiting Coach.  Mike noticed one of Alan's folders on the kitchen table.  It was open, and its contents were spilling out.  There were a smattering of varied pictures, some of Hercules included.  However, the majority of the pictures were of a certain music teacher at Mike's school.  The only difference was that J was younger, by ten years or so in all of the pictures.

            There were even a few drawings that were based off of photographs (J wasn't alone in any of those, Alan and/or Gerry always were with her) that looked rather old.  As Mike gazed at them, he was sure of one thing: even if it meant resorting to tossing them both into a locked closet, Alan and J needed to be put back together.

***

            Alan commuted to his job in the city until Mrs. Jones, Hayfield's elderly art teacher, retired.  'Twas hard to find anyone interested in teaching art at a local high school besides middle-aged housewives sick of doing laundry and cleaning bathrooms all day.  Mike finally broke down and asked Alan if he had any colleagues who might want the job.  Alan came up blank, but not before an idea formed in his mind.

            Before Christmas of 1982, the Hayfield faculty welcomed Mr. Alan Yoast as the newest addition to their ranks.  It was J who had recommended him.  Alan had been itching for the job from the start, but he felt strange asking about it, as Mike was not only the school principal, but also his roommate.  Yet, Alan was more than qualified for the job, so he was a shoe-in, his friendship with Mike having nothing to do with it.  

            Alan and J's schedules for the school day went something like this: Alan had General Art first period, Clay Art second period, a break third, Drawing Art fourth, lunch fifth, Special Ed art sixth, another break seventh, and Special Ed Art again eighth.  J had Special Ed Music first and second periods, a break third period, Band fourth, lunch fifth, Chorus sixth, Music and Culture seventh, and a break eighth.  

            Life continued splendidly.  Alan and J worked at building back their friendship while Mike enlisted the students' help in the conspiracy.  Nobody could have planned what happened next.


	11. Everywhere

Disclaimer—the lyrics to the song "everywhere" used in this chapter are not mine Clean Clean MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman";} 

_Disclaimer—the lyrics to the song "everywhere" used in this chapter are not mine. They belong to michelle branch, her recording company, and anyone else that they belong to. No copyright infringement intended._

Chapter 11 

"Everywhere"

_Turn it inside out so I can see_

_The part of you that's drifting over me_

_And__ when I wake you're never there_

_But__ when I sleep you're everywhere_

_You're__ everywhere_

December 1981

Alan watched the last student run out of his class before sighing gratefully. Teaching was great, much more fun than his previous job, but that didn't mean that Alan didn't look forward to his free periods. Free periods, what a wonderful concept. Alan considered himself lucky. He had 2 a day, plus a lunch. One of his free periods and his lunch were the same as Jules'. Alan wondered if Mike had anything to do with that. (That he did, and the only reason Mike didn't make it both breaks was because he didn't want it to be too obvious). Having a free period with each other let Jules and Alan get to know each other again. Really know each other, like they had in high school. Now, it was almost as if those 7 years hadn't happened apart.

Jules…Alan knew what he was feeling. His favorite color used to be green, but now it was red. Not just any red, but that deep, rich, autumn-leaf color of her hair. It was sappy, he knew. Nearly nauseating as well, how he felt. But he couldn't help it. It was Jules…

_Just tell me how I got this far_

_Just tell me why you're here and who you are_

_'Cause every time I look you're never there_

_But__ every time you sleep you're always there_

What is it called when you dream about someone when you're awake? Daydream? That can't be right, the sound of the word just doesn't fit. So what do you call it when you can't get a person out of your head? Not in that giggly schoolgirl kind of way, but in a deeper sense…

J shook her head to clear it of these confusing thoughts. They raised too many questions, too many what-if's, and the answers had already been decided upon. If anything was going to happen, if was going to happen in time. There was no sense in dwelling upon anything.

Then why couldn't she get him out of her head?

_'Cause you're everywhere to me_

_And__ when I close my eyes it's you I see_

_You're__ everything I know that makes me believe_

_I'm__ not alone_

_I'm__ not alone_

Christmas break came, and despite a gigantic amount of wishing both on the parts of adults and children, no major amount of snow fell. There were one or two dustings, but nothing huge. Gregory celebrated his daughter's birthday with a small party, attended by many of J's high school friends (essentially, the Titans and a few others). Despite the mistletoe draped all over the walls and doorways, the rooms that the two were constantly left alone in, and all the other various attempts by everyone at the party, the conspiracy failed to bear fruit. Again. 

By the time school started back up again in January 1982, everyone was beginning to wonder if anything was ever going to happen between J and Alan. Knowing how Alan and J felt would have seriously helped the conspirators. Both were afraid. Both stuck to the agreement that they had reached back in October. Both needed someone to smack them over their heads.

***

_I recognize the way you make me feel_

_It's__ hard to think that you might not be real_

_I sense it now, the water's getting deep_

_I try to wash the pain away from me_

_Away from me_

First Day of School After Winter Break

Third period break. J scratched the back of her head and looked around at her desk. Work awaited. She had to start looking for pieces already for the Spring Choral/Instrumental Concert. It was a massive event; the students would need to start getting familiar with the music in a few weeks or they would lose their edge. Yet, J wasn't in the mood. She stood, walked a few feet, then sat down at the piano bench. 

Lost in thought, J ran her fingers over the smooth piano keys, remembering the many songs she had composed in that very spot. Afternoons and evenings long after the students had left for the night, J felt herself unable to depart just yet. She was chased to the piano bench or to her guitar by the visions of young, current couples in the hallways. J was reminded of her own high school years, and her own high school…

J pushed herself up from her seat. She was really bored. Time to go pester Alan.

***

_And__ when I touch your hand_

_It's__ then I understand_

_The beauty that's within_

_It's__ now that we begin_

Alan jumped in his seat when J poked her head into the room; the sudden break in silence startled him. "Whatcha doing? Anything important?"

Alan glanced down at the lesson plans he was working on, then back up at J. "Not anymore." 

"Good." J beamed, ran over, and pulled a chair next to Alan's desk. "I was bored. These free periods are always so dull; there's nothing to do."

Alan raised an eyebrow at her. "Really? What happened to lesson plans, grading, etcetera and etcetera?"

J shrugged. "I dunno. I can do that later. Right now, I wanna bother you."

"Oh, I feel so privileged," Alan quipped, playfully patronizing. He gathered up the papers scattered over his desk to put them away. One of the papers swiped across his finger, penetrating the skin. A thin crimson line appeared where the paper had just been. "Ah-ow!" Alan hissed.

"Aww!" J cried sympathetically. She scampered over to the sink, (art rooms have to have sinks) wet a paper towel, and brought it back to Alan. She wrapped the paper towel around Alan's finger.

Alan winced when the rough surface of the paper towel initially rubbed against his cut. "I hate paper cuts," he moaned.

J pursed her lips and nodded understandingly. "I hate them too. Here," she reached into her pocket and dug around until she produced a tube. "Let me put this on it."

"What's that?" Alan asked as J took the paper towel off of his finger. 

"It's a triple antibiotic ointment salve thing. A paper cut really isn't serious enough for it, but it still feels really good on cuts and scratches. I'm constantly getting little cuts and scratches, so I carry it around with me."

Alan's heart picked up a beat or two as J applied the salve. It really did ease the stinging, but he had forgotten about the stinging awhile ago. All he felt was J's fingers rubbing the salve onto his finger. Her hand touching his. Her head was leaned down, facing his hand. But if her head was up, their faces would be inches apart. From here, Alan could smell her hair. She was still using the same shampoo that she had back in high school. Alan savored each second; he hadn't been this close to J in…well, a long time.

"There! J's head snapped up, her task completed. "Feel any better…" she trailed off as she gazed deep into Alan's eyes, suddenly realizing how very close they were. It had been forever…

***

Mike strode down the hallway, heading for Alan's classroom. He wanted to run an idea by Alan, about starting an after-school art club. Mike reached the doorway just in time to see Alan and J mere centimeters apart. He halted in his place and watched, holding his breath.

***

An earthquake couldn't have shaken Alan from his position. Not much farther now…he began to draw closer, just as J did. He faltered the next second, losing his confidence, just as J did. They both laughed, nervously, and moved a few feet back. J glanced down at her feet, then up again. "So..."

***

Mike exhaled heavily, disappointed. Shaking his head, he turned around and made his way back to his office. So close…

***

_You always light my way_

_There never comes a day_

_No matter where I go_

_I always feel you so_

A week later

Alan glanced up from the tray he was piling with food to see J surrounded by the usual crowd of young male student and substitute teachers. Don't forget Mr. Wallace, the first-year English teacher. J was the heartbreaker of the school, among the faculty, at least. Though it wasn't as if J did anything out of her way to attract all the attention. Alan shook his head; it wasn't as if he blamed any of them…

Alan hefted his heavily laden tray and was about to make his way over to J when he was stopped by Miss Taylor, an annoying gossipy and clinging math teacher. "I heard we're getting out early, what with the snowstorm coming and all." Alan nodded half-mindedly, brain focused on J. He glimpsed over just as she looked up. Meeting eyes with Alan, she mouthed, '_Help me_.'

That was all it took. Alan let his instincts take over. He dropped his tray, quickly excused himself from Miss Taylor, and crossed the distance between him and J in a matter of a few quick strides. Pushing through the admirers surrounding her, Alan took J's arm, pulled her to a standing position, and swept her off of her feet, literally, in a passionate kiss that unintentionally but secretly on purpose communicated everything he had been feeling for weeks. 

Finally breaking it off, he stared into her stunned face for a few breathless seconds before brushing past all of the slack-jawed mouths and out of the lounge. There was a moment of shocked silence before the room became ablaze with buzzing conversations about what had just happened. J felt her knees go wobbly. Usually not one to be weakened easily, even J had to admit that she had been taken off-guard. J had to sit, having a lot to think about. It didn't take her long to reach a decision. It may not be what people expected, or what some would even want, but it was the right thing to do. The only thing to do. 

***

_'Cause you're everywhere to me_

_And__ when I catch my breath, it's you I breathe_

_You're__ everything I know that makes me believe_

_I'm__ not alone_

_'Stupid, stupid, stupid!'_ Alan furiously chided himself repeatedly during the next half hour. Not much mental presence was required, even though he had a class. Mike came over the PA system right after lunch to announce that school was dismissing early for the first snowstorm of the winter. 

Alan vaguely noticed the students pouring out of the classrooms and onto the buses. His mind kept replaying the events from lunch. How could he have been so stupid? There's no way she felt the same, it was too soon after they had been reunited. If Alan insisted on ruining the friendship that he'd built back up with Jules since October, he could have at least chosen a moment not in front of half the faculty.

Still…there was a part of Alan that didn't regret what he'd done, and that would do it again in an instant.

***

_You're__ in everyone I see_

_So tell me_

_Do you see me?_

The faculty was now free to go, as all the students had left. Teachers ran to get to their cars and speed home before the storm hit. Alan was just shoving his keys into the car lock when he heard a voice call his name.

"Alan!"

He whipped around to see J running towards him as the first few flakes of snow drifted downwards. _'Uh-oh, here it comes,'_ he thought. "Look, Jules, I'm sorry, I wasn't—"

But J interrupted. "Shut up."

Alan's face scrunched in confusion. "Wha—"

J cut him off. She grabbed his tie and pulled his mouth down to hers. There it remained until both of them were heavily dusted with snow. They finally pulled apart, ever so slightly, to the applause of the remaining faculty, Mike included. To J and Alan, though, there was no one else besides them. Alan gazed into J's shining face, amazed at how very beautiful she was, cheeks red and glowing in the cold. In her eyes he found nothing but love, as she found nothing but love in his. They found themselves drawing together for another well-deserved kiss. The had their long awaited moment at last…in the snow.

_Kelly wants me to insert a disclaimer here, so here it is:_

_DISCLAIMER—no one was permanently damaged in the making of this chapter. Alan's paper cut fully healed, and he made a complete recovery._


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 

Chapter 12

            _What a winter.  There's no point in describing all the details, because you'd probably get disgusted by the second paragraph, it was that sappy.  So was the spring, for that matter.  In fact, the spring was probably even worse, what with all that "love is in the air" stuff.  All the flowers and candy hearts and calling each other ridiculous names that you used to make fun of but now give your heart a little jump when that special someone says them…it's enough to make anyone, even the most stalwartly, diehard, hopelessly romantic of us puke._

_            Which brings us to the Choral/Instrumental Concert in mid-May.  J and the students involved had been slaving since February to make it perfect.  Hence, the night was perfect.   Perhaps for some other reasons as well as the beautiful performances…_

            J's climbed the stage to give a few words at the urging of the students.  The concert had been a flawless success; she didn't know what else to say besides giving supreme congratulations to everyone involved.  J had just run out of things to say and was blushing at the applause when she spotted Alan making his way up to the podium, proudly brandishing a bouquet of white roses.

            J's grin broadened as he walked up and handed her the flowers with a loving smile.  There was something peculiar in his eyes, something that made J's heart skip a few beats, but she shook the feeling off.  Alan was probably just uncomfortable being in front of this many people (he'd always be terrified of speaking in front of groups) , even if he didn't have to say anything.

            As J glanced over the roses, something out of order caught her eye.  In the center, amidst all the white, was a drop of red.  A red rose?  That was odd.  J leaned in closer to examine the crimson flower.  Strange…it sparkled.  Were roses supposed to sparkle?  Maybe in the dew, but—J gasped.  With a trembling hand, she reached inside the red rose petals and drew out a ring.  She tore her eyes from the ring and the bouquet to see Alan down on one knee, a wireless microphone attached to his shirt.  J's heart thudded even faster and harder.  

            Alan waited until J's eyes connected and locked with his, then began.  "Jules…I had this whole speech prepared.  Then I realized that we would all be here forever and a day if I recited it, and these nice people are waiting to go home.  Anyway, I don't want to slaughter the moment with a bunch of jumbled words.  Only a handful matter.  Jules, will you make my life complete and marry me?"

            J hesitated.  Well, it wasn't as much hesitate as didn't answer right away.  It's rather difficult to answer when your throat contracts, hardens, and a lump makes its way up.  When your nose begins to sting and your eyes fill with salty water.  A deep breath, and the tears were pushed back.  J nodded.  "Yes."

            Alan's face shone as he took the ring from J and slid it onto her finger.  He took hold of both her hands and stood, then pulled her into a hug, followed by a kiss.  Somewhere in the audience, near the front, there were a series of quick flashes and snaps of a camera taking pictures.  

            When they came up for air, the crowd was going wild.  J and Alan beamed, cheeks red, to thunderous applause, whistles, and standing ovation.  Neither had ever been happier.

***

            Alan and J immediately insisted on a wedding that October.  October 8, to be precise.  The date of their first kiss.  To further commemorate that event, the ceremony was going to take place in the field at the side of Coach's house, and it was going to be at night.  Not the middle of the night, as their first kiss was, but still night.  

            This meant that the reception was actually going to be before the wedding.  Rather strange indeed, but what else do you expect from these two?  Now, J and Alan were shocked at how soon many of the preparations had to be made, including the wedding invitations (they insisted on doing everything themselves).  Their wedding planner, Anne, (a referral of Mrs. Bertier) persisted that the invitations be drawn up by the end of June.  "This is the busiest wedding season of the year," she claimed.  "You need to have those ordered by the end of June so you get them, at the earliest, by early August.  Then they must be sent out right away, because any decent couple gives their guests at least two month's notice."

            J had squabble after squabble with Anne about just about everything under the sun.  On the invitations, J would not let the lettering be gold, and she refused to have a long and what she called "stuffy" message on the invitation.  So after much bickering, they finally decided on a simpler message and shiny blue lettering.  They did encounter problems, however, when making a list of names.  One of the first people on the list appeared merely as "Coach."

            "You can't write just that," Anne exclaimed, looking over Alan's shoulder.  "What's the rest of his name?"  Shrugging his shoulders, Alan wrote "Yoast" after "Coach."  Anne frowned.  "Surely that man has a first name.  What is it?"  Alan paused, pencil poised in the air.  His brow furrowed in confusion and he squinted at the paper.  Anne waited expectantly, hands on her hips.  "Well?"

            "Ummm…Jules?"  J headed out of her room, where she had been rummaging for her address book.

            "Yeah?"

            "What's Coach's first name?"  J stopped in mid-stride.  She ran a hand through her hair, deep in thought.  Finally she threw up her hands in defeat and grumbled,

            "Oh, I don't know!  He's your dad, you should know!"  Alan shrugged meekly back at her.  There was a moment of tense silence before both of them burst out laughing.  Anne's jaw dropped and she moved her hands from her hips to wave them widely in the air as she paced.

            "I really don't see what's so funny here!  Imagine, not even knowing the first name of the father of the groom!  Why, I've never heard of such a thing!  It most certainly won't do!  You MUST find out what his first name is, and right away!"

            J and Alan smothered their laughter and continued to gaze at each other, grins on their faces.  Anne glared at them, eyebrows raised.  J rolled her eyes.  "Oh…alright."  She flipped through her address book.  "I'll call Coach Boone.  He'll know."

*** 

            Coach Boone didn't know.  Neither did Mrs. Bertier, Sunshine, Petey, or any of the other former members of the Titans.  With a disgusted Anne fanning herself on the sofa and J staring in dread at the telephone, there was finally only one other person left to call.   "How can we call Coach and tell him that we can't even remember his first name?"

            Alan shook his head.  "I was hoping you'd know."  J took a deep breath, set her jaw, and snatched the phone.  She dialed Coach's number and waited for the answer.  IT ran.  And rang and rang.  Before too long, the answering machine kicked in.  

            "You've reached the home of Bill Yoast.  I'm not home right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you as soon as possible.  Thank you and have a nice day."  

            J hung up the phone with a click.  "Well, that was insanely easy."  

***

            _The rest of the wedding preparations over the summer went much the same.  In fact, there's really nothing else to be told until the wedding.  Oh!  Except for one thing…_


	13. Crash and Burn

_Disclaimer—"crash and burn" belongs to savage garden, not me or Kelly.  So please don't sue us.  Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.  _

_On a side note, Kelly and I were bored one day (well, I was bored.  Kelly loves doing this kind of thing, which is cool b/c she saved my life back when I had to plan a wedding in less than a week for health class)  and we went to bluenile.com and designed j's engagement ring.  If anyone's interested in seeing it, email me at gabby-kora@juno.com and I'll send you the pic.  Yay!  Now go r/r or I'll cry.  Really, I will.  *sniffles*_

Chapter 13 

"Crash and Burn"

_When you feel all alone_

_And the world has turned its back on you_

_Give me a moment please_

_To tame your wild, wild heart_

            It took every iota of Alan's willpower not to slam his foot down on the gas and break the speed limit by a hundred.  He struggled to keep his focus as his mind replayed the events from only five minutes ago.

***

_I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you_

_It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold_

            Mike answered the phone.  Alan was working on his latest piece—J with Hercules perched on her shoulders and Romeo bounding at her side, drawn from a photograph.  Mike did not want to disturb him.  "Hello?"

***

_When darkness is upon your door and_

_You feel like you can't take anymore…_

            Alan had just started detailing the fuzz around Hercules' ears when Mike stuck his head in the door.  Something in the principal's eyes made Alan drop his pencil.  "J was taking her father out to lunch today, right?"

            Alan nodded, "yeah, that's what she told me."

            Mike took a deep breath, then continued.  "They never made it.  I'm not sure of the details, but Gregory didn't survive and the doctors say J won't last the night."

***

_Let me be the one you call_

_If you jump, I'll break your fall_

_Lift you up and fly away with you into the night_

            It kept repeating over and over again in his head like some morbid broken record as Alan leapt from his car and raced into the hospital.  He didn't even process his frantic conversations with the nurses and his sprint to her room.  Nothing was clear until the saw her.  Alan began shaking from the first glance.  Her hair, with its blood red color, was a startling contrast to the paper whiteness of her face.  Her visage was too pale.  Deathly pale.  Dizzy and shuddering, Alan made his way over beside her bead and sank heavily into a chair.  

            Now he knew what everyone must have felt like all those times he'd ended up in the hospital.  Studying again J's prone form, Alan decided that he'd much rather be the one in the bed instead of beside it.  It didn't hurt as much.

***

_If you need to fall apart,_

_ I can mend a broken heart_

_If you need to crash, then crash and burn_

_You're not alone._

            The nurses talked Alan into leaving the room (it really wasn't that hard, for the poor man was in such a daze and detached from the rest of the world they had to do little more than take his hand and lead him) when visiting hours were over.  Alan plodded down the hallway and settled himself in an armchair.  If he slept, he did so with his eyes open, gaze focused on the door to J's room.

            In the morning, Mike came with breakfast.  No amount of persuading could make Alan move from his spot, despite the man's best efforts.  Alan wouldn't budge until he was allowed back into J's room.  At noon, Coach stopped by with more food for Alan.  He tried to sit and talk with his son, but Alan wasn't in much of a conversationalist mood.

***

_When you feel all alone_

_And a loyal friend is hard to find_

_You're caught in a one-way street_

_With the monsters in your head_

            _Beep.  Beep.  Beep._  Alan remembered hating that noise, it was always the one that awakened him from that peaceful land of sleep, and brought about a world of pain in every inch of his body.  But now, now it was his anchor.  So long as there was still that beep, there was hope.

            Hope.  J had lasted the night, contrary to the doctors' predictions.  She hadn't, however, gotten any better.  Her condition was still unstable.  Alan fingered the crimson curls that spider webbed around her body.  Even her hair was injured; it had lost its glossy shine; now it was dull.  With all this, it was hard to have hope, but hope was all Alan had.

            Still wrapping pieces of her hair around his finger, Alan cleared his throat and began speaking to his fiancée's comatose form.  "Jules…I've never seen you like this before, and it terrifies me.  So…empty of life, so still.  You've never looked like this in all the time I've known you, and that's a long time, not even when you're sleeping.  Even in slumber you've still got a certain fire to you.  At least you did when you were a kid…remember those camp-outs you, me, and Gerry used to have in each other's backyards when we were young?

            An inexpressible flash of pain seared through Alan's chest at the memory and he had to pause.  When he got his voice back, its husky quality matched his haggard features.  "I can't lose you, Jules.  Not you, your dad, and Gerry all in less than a year.  I can't do it.  I just got you back…you can't leave me, not again.  I love you.  When I first kissed you, I thought I loved you then, but that was barely love.  Even 2 months ago, when I proposed, I thought I couldn't love you a single bit more than I did then, but that pales in comparison to how much I love you now.  So you have to pull through this, Jules."  Alan whispered the last word.  "Please."

            His heart pounding, Alan held his breath.  This was the decisive moment, he could feel it; she'd either wake up now or she'd never…_beep.  Beep.  Beeeeeeeeeeee…_The pulsating line on the green monitor flattened and the assuring beep stretched out into one deathly noise.  Alan let out his breath in a quivering cry.  His heart ripped in two, insides screamed in anguish.  

            In the same second, J's eyes snapped open and she sat up with a whoosh.  "Nurse!  I need help!  I think I'm dead!"  Exhausted, shocked, recovering from immense pain, with limbs trembling in relief, there was naught Alan could do but sit and watch.  A nurse hurried into the room and glanced in surprise at J, then the monitor.  It was still proclaiming J's death.  The nurse clucked and looked J over.  Examining J, she found that the monitors attached to the young teacher's hand had fallen off.  Therefore, the machine wasn't getting any reading from her.  

            "Oh, there's the problem!" The nurse re-fastened the monitors and went on her way.  By then, Alan had regained his voice.

            "You—I thought—you're—"

            J smiled sheepishly and shrugged (as much as was possible with all the bandages).  "I woke up a few minutes ago because someone I love was asking me too.  I couldn't ignore that voice.  But then you were on such a roll, I couldn't interrupt you."  Alan leaned over and pulled J to him in a hug, as much as he could without hurting her.

            "Don't you ever, EVER, scare me like that again!" he whispered into her ear.  Seconds later, J felt stray tears of his, warm and moist, splash onto her cheeks.  But it was all going to be alright.

***

_When hopes and dreams are far away and_

_You feel like you can't face the day_

            Alan sought comfort in J's conscious state for only a brief period of time.  As reluctant as he was to cause her any more pain (she already had a handful of cracked ribs, a fractured arm, and a concussion), he mustered his courage and told her about her father.  It took awhile for J to process the information, then she broke down.

            Alan's shirt was soon soaked through, and all he could do was hold her.  There were no words of comfort he could offer.  By being there, silently suffering with her, however, was more soothing than anything he could have said. 

***

_'Cause there has always been heartache and pain_

_but when it's over you'll breathe again_

_You'll breathe again_

            Mourning and healing wasn't easy.  It never is.  As soon as she was released from the hospital, J threw herself into the wedding plans, and later, work.  With the support of her friends, family (she still had aunts, uncles, and cousins), and of course Alan, J began the healing process.

_I want to stop and make a note now saying that I don't want to appear insensitive by not focusing too much on Gregory's death and all the emotions that come with it.  But there's still a lot left to be told, and I don't know if I have the time or energy to do dwell on any one thing._


	14. Tonight

_Dislclaimer—practically all of these characters belong to Disney.  And the song "tonight" belongs to the awesomeness that is ace troubleshooter.  I love this song  (Kelly likes the lyrics but I dunno how big she is on the music…it's punk) so using it in this chapter is my way of paying homage to the band…so please don't sue us.  Thanks!_

Chapter 14

Tonight

_Starry, starry night_

_The silver beams the only light_

_Summer breeze, summer dreams_

_Float over me_

            Candles cast their soft glow over the moonlight field, illuminating little details that the stars' faint shine could not quite reach.  Folding chairs were lined in rows, creating an aisle that otherwise would not exist.  A white wicker, baby's-breath encrusted arch stood front and center of the chairs.  On either of the side rested two photographs: one of Gerry and one of J's parents on their wedding day.  In front of each picture a white candle burned brightly, testament to the friends and family who's memory continued to live and inspire.

***

_The stars frame her silhouette _

_Beauty stills away my breath_

_This moment will last forever_

_Forever, forever._

            At quarter to seven, guests began to appear and file into the field.  Fresh from the reception, their moods were jovial and anticipatory of the event at hand.  There was not one person in the crowd who had not been waiting for this evening for a long time.  Every former member of the Titans (exempting Gerry for obvious albeit sorrowful reasons) was present, many with dates.  Adrienne, Alan's sister and the girl that Alan and J had set up with Sunshine back at Senior Prom, was there with the California native (besides being part of the wedding as the sister of the groom).  The two had been seeing each other on and off since then, thought recently they had been getting quite close.  Mike was also in attendance, along with various other friends and family.  Finally, members of the wedding party began to trickle out of the house, where they had been getting ready.

***

_There is no time but now_

_There is no where else but here_

            J paced back and forth in Coach's living room, where she and Sheryl had been getting ready for the past half an hour.  "I'm going to trip, I just know it.  I'm gonna go down right in the middle of the entire thing.  I'll probably fall right into Alan, knock him over, knock the pastor over, we'll knock the arch over…" J wringed her hands.  "I tripped the time Alan and I first kissed, you know.  It's destined to happen again, in the very same field…"  

            Sheryl, who was maid of honor, placed her hands on J's shoulders and looked directly at her.  "J, calm down.  You will be fine; you will not trip.  We spent 3 days searching for the perfect shoes and dress that were not only not too fancy, but were also designed specifically to prevent any sort of tripping."

            J smiled gratefully at the younger woman and glanced down at her dress.  "Thank you.  I needed that."  She paused for a second, looking Sheryl over.  "You look beautiful."  Sheryl did.  She was clothed in the ice-blue gown of the bridesmaids.  It had sleeves, very short ones that cut off right over the tips of the shoulders.  It was a simple gown (J wouldn't have things any other way), flowing down to brush just past her ankles.  Sheryl's curly blond hair was loose and free, with flowers braided into it.  

            Sheryl grinned.  "Thanks.  But I've got nothing on  you."  

            J blushed and bit her lip.  "You're just saying that."

            Sheryl shot J a fake glare.  "I'm not and you know it."  She smiled at J, then sighed.  "Come on, stand back a little so I can get a better look at you."  J obliged, rolling her eyes.  She wasn't one for dressing up; she had refused to wear her dress to the reception.  Instead she had found nice pants a shirt to wear until then.  Consequently, Sheryl and the other bridesmaids had just finished putting the finishing touches on J.  J's hair was tightly pinned up and twisted in the back.  Curls in the front had been set free to float gracefully downwards and frame her face.  A wreath of laurel adorned the front of her head.  The straps of her dress were an inch or two long, and they flowed down the same length as the bridesmaids' dresses.  It seemed to stretch up and wrap around her waist.  

            The delicate material, however, was about to be mussed and possibly damaged if J did not stop nervously rubbing her hands on her gown.  Sheryl shook her head in exasperation, and began coaching J for the last 15 minutes before the ceremony.  "Alright, J, listen to me.  Deep, calming breath; deep, calming breath…"

***

_Time has lost its grip tonight_

_Beautiful enchantment, I just might_

_Hold her, hold her close_

_Never let her go_

            Sunshine was at the point of slamming his head against the door not only in frustration, but also to break it down.  Alan had locked himself in there half an hour ago.  As the best man, it was Sunshine's duty to make sure that Alan got outside in time, and the wedding was going to start in 10 minutes.  "Alan, come on!  Are you done yet?"

            In the bathroom, Alan sat on the floor.  His head turned upwards at Sunshine's voice, but soon lowered again.  Did all grooms have second thoughts before their wedding the way he did?  Not second thoughts about Jules, no, never about her.  She was perfect; there was nothing Alan wanted more than to spend the rest of his life with her.  He was worried about himself.  Would he make a good husband?  Would he…would he turn into his father?  Not Coach, but his biological father, Fred Bosley.

            Bosley…there was a name he hadn't even thought about in a long time.  It was not going to be uttered tonight; Jules was going from McConnell to Yoast.  Alan had never even mused about this until now.  Was it possible for him to turn into Fred?  Surely his father had thought that he loved his mother and any of their future children on their wedding day.  Was this all just pre-wedding jitters, or did this mean something more?

            Alan's head turned upwards again at more knocking on the door.  "Five minutes till show time, Alan, we have to get a move on!"  Sighing, Alan put his hands on his knees and pushed himself into a standing position.  Taking a deep breath, Alan emerged from the bathroom to face a very relieved Sunshine.  "Great,  you're out.  If I had shown up without the groom, J would have drawn and quartered me.  You ready?"

            Wordlessly, Alan nodded.  Sunshine made a motion to turn around and head out, then he doubled back and looked Alan straight in the eyes.  "I know what's bothering you, and you're nothing like him.  You never will be; you're a completely different person."  Sunshine shrugged, then grinned.  "Besides, worse comes to worse and you do go wacko, J can take you no problem."  Alan had to smile.  Catching the smile, Sunshine's grin broadened.  "So you're good now?"  Nod from Alan.  "Good.  Let's roll."

***

_The tenderness in her eyes_

_Her hair is drenched with silver moonlight_

_Half-spoken thoughts, forget-me-nots_

_She's the jewel I've sought_

_(she's the jewel I've sought)_

            Alan's heart pounded as the flower girl, J's young second cousin Jessica, made her way up the aisle.  Jessica was adorable on her little cool blue dress complemented by her flashing green eyes and fiery orange hair.  Her chubby hands reached into the woven woodchip basket and seized a fistful of mixed yellow, white, pink and red rose petals, and flung them mercilessly in front of her.  Despite his anxiety, Alan couldn't help but chuckle at the sight.  His laughter soon faded when the music (one of J's friends from college managed to get a piano out into the field, of all wonders) began.  

            At the mouth of the field J stood, clutching Coach's arm with hers.  Right as it was time for them to begin walking, she leaned in and whispered, "don't let me trip."  

            Coach laughed quietly.  "You'll be fine, J, don't worry.  You and Alan, and the rest of us too, we've waited too long for this moment for you to trip now."  J nodded, inhaled then exhaled, and put one foot in front of the other.  The simple task of walking followed.  J's heart thudded faster and faster within her chest until she became close enough to lock eyes properly with Alan.  Suddenly the chore of walking disappeared and all tension melted away.

***

_There is no time but now_

_There is no where else but here_

_When all else is cold_

_The warmth of holding her near_

            Alan could not remember what it felt like to be uneasy.  Hadn't it been only five seconds ago that his palms had been warm and moist, his heart thumping fast and heavy?  But now…now he was more relaxed than he'd ever been before.  Everything around him was a haze with Jules as the shining center.

            She positively glowed; she radiated joy.  Coach patted J's arm, then released her to go stand beside Sunshine.  J paused only long enough to beam at Alan, never taking her eyes from his, then moved to stand across from him.  He returned her luminous smile and reached through the distance between them to hold her hands.  They vaguely heard the pastor begin the ceremony.  They barely noticed at all what was going on around them until it was time.

***

_Tonight the stars in her eyes_

_Outshine the stars in the skies_

_Tonight love is in her eyes_

_I'll hold, hold her close tonight_

            The clearest part of the entire service that enchanted night was the,

            "Alan Thomas, do you take this woman…"  and the,

            "Julianna Renée, do you take this man…"

            The most beautiful, perfect and simple words, the words that seemed more right and good than anything else that had ever come out of their mouths were those two, almost clichéd sets of "I do's."  A few moments later, it was all over.  Life, however, had just begun. 


	15. Island in the Sun

Chapter 15 

Island in the Sun

_When you're on a holiday_

_You can't find the words to say_

_All the things that come to you_

_And I wanna feel it too_

            California.  Where else would Alan pick when given the choice for the destination of the honeymoon?  He didn't have any real preference; as long as he was with J, he'd be happy in the Alaskan tundra.  As it was J's dream to visit California, Alan chose to go there.  

***

_On an island in the sun_

_We'll be playing and having fun_

_And it makes me feel so fine_

_I can't control my brain_

            On their first day there, J immediately begged Alan to let her take surfing lessons.  He was completely fine with the idea, but reluctant to take them himself.  Consequently, Alan ended up on the beach watching J as she learned how to ride the waves.  Alan was perfectly happy on the sand, the sea breeze tousling his hair.  He spent an entire morning with a sketchpad in his lap and pencil in hand, creating a portrait of J on a surfboard.  He had to draw most of the scene from memory, however, because surfing wasn't exactly one of the most inactive of sports.

            From then on, Alan learned that he would have more luck with the camera.  Over the course of the next few days, Alan built up a collection of photographs of J learning how to surf, and soon surfing on her own.  Alan also tried his hand at sand sculpture-making.  He produced some amazingly intricate results.  In turn, a dazzled J took a stab at photography, capturing Alan's creations forever.  Then finally, she convinced Alan to go surfing with her.  That was quite an adventure.

***

_When you're on a golden sea_

_You don't need no memory_

_Just a place to call your own_

_As we drift into the zone_

            "I've never seen anyone take in that much salt water before in my life.  You even got it up your nose," J commented as she tried to suppress another laugh.  She was on her way back up to the room with Alan after his…experience surfing.

            "Fine, mock my near-death experience," Alan grumbled as he trudged into the elevator.  

            J rolled her eyes and bit her lip to keep from laughing.  "Alan, you know how to swim.  It wasn't like the water was that deep, either.  Besides," she hit the button for their floor and sauntered into Alan's embrace.  "I was right there to save you if you showed any signs of drowning."

            Alan dropped his disgruntled act and wrapped his arms around J from the behind, placing his chin on her shoulder.  "Mmm," he murmured.  "My hero."  The couple was silent until they reached their floor.  On the way out of the elevator, a thought occurred to J. 

            "You know, I think I just figured out why you wiped out and why you're always getting hurt."

            "Really?" Alan replied.  He unlocked their door and held it open for J.  "Why's that?"

            J stopped, staring at him until he gave up and went in first.  "Because you're a klutz."

            Alan closed the door with a soft click.  "I am n—"

            "You are too."

            Alan opened his mouth and shut it again.  "I—no I'm not."

            J folded her arms across her chest and gazed at him, clearly stating, _'yes you are.'_  Suddenly she grinned.  "But that's alright.  Klutziness is so cute.  And you're my klutz."

            Alan smiled.  "Oh, well that's alright then.  But I'm still not a klutz."

            "Are too."

            "Are not."

            "Are too…"

***

_On an island in the sun_

_We'll be playing and having fun_

_And it makes me feel so fine_

_I can't control my brain_

            Very early the following morning, about 3 or so, J couldn't sleep.  Alan was deep in slumber beside her, and she didn't want to disturb him.  Unable to think of anything else to do, J decided to watch again the video taken during their reception.  Smiling, (Alan was so adorable when he was sleeping, even if he was nothing more than a mound under the blanket) J popped the tape into the VCR (honeymoon suits go all-out).  It happened to be right at her favorite part.  The best man's speech…

***

            "Alright, alright, everyone quiet!" J's cousin (father of Jessica), Derek, called.  He tapped on his glass to silence the room.  "I believe it's time for the best man's speech!"  The room fell quiet as everyone turned expectant gazes to Sunshine.  He stopped plowing his fork full of food from his plate to his mouth long enough to glance back up at everyone else.  

            "What?" he asked, mouth full of mashed potatoes.  

            Adrienne, who was sitting beside him, nudged his elbow.  "Yes," she whispered.  "You're supposed to have a speech prepared as the best man."  She watched with amusement Sunshine's visage as it grew in panic.  Apparently he had not been aware of the tradition.  "Though," she added, "this being Alan and J, you'll probably be able to get away with just standing up and saying whatever comes to our mind.  Or even nothing at all; J won't care and I doubt that Alan will either."

            Gulping down the last of his meal, Sunshine stood and flashed everyone a nervous smile with a meek wave.  "Hi."  Heads nodded in acknowledgement as those who knew Sunshine hid grins behind hands and napkins.  "Uhh…I don't have much of a speech prepared," snickers came from Petey's direction.  Sunshine glanced that way and felt anxiety gnaw at his insides.  "Because, really, what can you say about these two?  I mean, I've known them since junior year, but there's so much more history there that I'm only beginning to learn about." 

            "Nice save," Coach Boone muttered as Alan and J's relatives mumbled in approval.  

            "So I'll just stick to today," Sunshine continued with a big breath.  "It's sure been a good day, hasn't it?  Good food, good music," he began to stammer as he made things up as he went along.  "Good people, good food, good party, good food, good dancing…did I mention the food?"  He smiled weakly.  "It all fits this good, no, GREAT, couple."  He finished, glancing fearfully at the blank or amused faces (depending on who was looking).  He shrugged, "I'm done," and sat down.  Silence…then laughter and clapping followed.  J stuck her fingers in her mouth and let loose a loud, piercing and congratulatory whistle.  

***

            J shook her head fondly at the memory.  Her relatives had found Sunshine charming, at least most of them.  A few older relatives of Alan's had required some damage control, but J wouldn't have had it any other way.  She settled back to watch the rest of the video.  About an hour later, during the father of the bride/bride dance (J was dancing with Coach, for he had taken on the role of her father as well) J felt her eyelids beginning to droop.  Once the dance was over, she decided, she would go to bed.

            All of a sudden, she spotted movement in the background, in the corner.  Strange, she and Alan must have watched this tape a zillion times, but neither of them had ever noticed that before.  J gasped; all fatigue cleared from her brain in an instant.  It couldn't be!  How—why…she hit the pause button and elbowed Alan frantically.  "Alan!" she hissed.  His answer was only a muffled moan, somewhat resembling a "wha?" from beneath the blankets and the slight movement caused by him rolling over.  "Alan!" she said again, louder this time with a harder prod on the shoulder. 

            Bleary eyed, Alan poked his head out from beneath the covers.  "Wha?"

            J, seemingly in shock, continued to jab him, eyes plastered to the frozen image on the screen.  "Alan!"

            "Wha?"  Alan sat up in bed, rubbing the back of his neck, still groggy, trying to figure out what was so amazing about J in mid-waltz with Coach.  

            Finally, J ceased poking, (Alan massaged his shoulder thankfully) and pointed to the corner of the screen.  "LOOK, LOOK,LOOK!"

            Half asleep and not entirely seeing straight, Alan followed J's finger, squinting at the picture.  There, out in the hallway of the reception center, were a shadowed but visible Sunshine and Adrienne.  Both had loving and elated smiles on their faces.  Sunshine was dropped to one knee, holding a little black box in his left hand.  Nothing else could be seen, but that was enough.  Alan blinked.  "Oh…that's nice, dear," and proceeded to lay back down.  He pulled the covers over his head.  "…WHAT?!"

            Alan was out of bed and standing right next to the television a second later.  He gaped at the scene.  "That's…that's wonderful, that's great!" he exclaimed.  "But why didn't they tell us?"

            "Think about it," J answered from the bed, too comfortable and warm to get up.  "They knew that we'd only be happy and receptive about it, but it's still kinda rude to announce an engagement during someone else's wedding.  It's like shifting the focus."

            Alan scratched the back of his head as he returned to the bed.  "Yeah, you're right."  He paused for a moment.  "You know, we should call them.  What time is it back in Alexandria?  It's 4 a.m. here."

            "I'm not sure exactly," J replied.  She looked at him with mischievously twinkling eyes.  "Call back home in the middle of our honeymoon?"

            Alan shrugged, "yeah, I know it's not ordinary, but I want to and I know you do too.  Besides, it's something different, something not most people would do.  Isn't that what we're all about?"

            J nodded with a puckish grin. "Looks like I'm rubbing off on you."

            Alan stroked his chin.  "Now all I have to do is figure out of that's a good thing or a bad thing."  He was answered with a smack from J's pillow.  Grabbing his own pillow, he retaliated.  The newlyweds continued their pillow fight until the first fingertips of the sun smudged the horizon.

***

_We'll run away together_

_We'll spend some time forever_

_We'll never feel bad anymore_

            As much fun as it was, the honeymoon had to come to a close.  Alan and J returned to Alexandria and lived at J's house until they found a home that was larger.  It only took a few weeks until they bought a house and moved in, but then they had been searching since the summer.  The final decision was made something like this…

***

            J ran her fingers over the slickly painted walls.  "It's perfect, Alan!"

            Alan glanced at her from the hallway, where he was inspecting a window.  J was inside one of the rooms.  Alan moved to stand beside her, placing an arm around her shoulders.  "The house or the room?"

            J's eyes shone.  "Both.  This room is perfect for the baby!"

            Alan's arm slipped from it's place as he staggered in shock.  "What baby?  Already?!"

            J giggled a little, her nose crinkling.  "No, not yet.  But I want a baby by our first anniversary, kay?"

            Relieved, Alan straightened and returned his arm to its position around her shoulders.  He was quite agreeable.  "Oh, okay."

_Life continued relatively normal and blissful from there.  Until Kora decides to give this story at least a little bit of a plot.  Maybe.  Hehe.  Now go r/r or I'll be sad and just stop posting/writing._


	16. The Impression That I Get (part 1)

_Disclaimer—the song "the impression that i get" belongs to the mighty mighty bosstones, not us.  We make no profit off of it, we just think it's a really cool song and are actually paying you a kind of compliment by using it.  so please don't be mean and sue us.  Thanks!_

Chapter 16

The Impression That I Get (part 1)

_Have you ever been close to tragedy_

_Or been close to folks who have_

_Have you ever felt a pain so powerful_

_So heavy you collapse_

December 1982

            Ahh, the sweet sounds of hurling in the morning.  'Twas to that sound that J was awakened one day.  At first, she wasn't entirely sure what it was (not being a morning person, it took her a long time to process things).  The first thing J noticed was that the bed was lighter, without a certain weight.  Alan was missing.  Next she distinctly heard suffering sounds emanating from the bathroom.  She swung her legs over the bed and padded over to the source of the noise.

            There was Alan, kneeling on the floor of the bathroom, head…_(well, I think you can guess the scene from there.  No use in describing it.)_  J knelt down next to him and rubbed his back in a series of circular motions.  When Alan weakly lifted his head up, J felt his forehead with her hand, then her cheek.  "You're burning up!  That's it, you're going back to bed!"  She helped Alan up and into bed.  He sat there, a sad figure indeed.  His skin was pasty, with dark rings under his bloodshot eyes.  He watched, barely able to keep the spinning room in focus, as J bustled about.  She was giving him instructions for the day. 

            "Stick to a diet of tea, toast, soup, and crackers.  I'll leave them all out on the kitchen table for you.  Plus drink lost of fluids, water and juice specifically.  I want you to stay in bed or on the couch until it's time for your doctor's appointment, which I'll schedule for you when I get to work, then call you to let you know of the time.  If I think that you don't sound well enough to get there yourself, I'm leaving work and taking you.  And don't try and talk me out of that because I'm doing it whether or not you like it."

            J sat down beside Alan on the bed, taking his hand in both of hers and caressing it gently.  "You need anything else?" she asked, softly.  Alan shook his head.  J nodded, chewing on her lip.  "I hate leaving you here.  I want to stay with you."

            Alan shook his head.  "I'll be fine.  No reason for both of us to miss work."

            J sighed.  "I know…I just would like to stay."  She sighed again.  "Well, I have to be going now."  She kissed Alan lightly, then made her way out.

***

_I've never had to knock on wood_

_But I know someone who has_

_Which makes me wonder if I could_

            Alan went to the doctor that afternoon and was diagnosed with a stomach virus.  He was given a prescription and under J's orders stayed home for the following two days.  The morning after returning to work, Alan woke up early only to find J in the same position he had been only four days before.  The doctor had warned that Alan's stomach virus was highly contagious, and the predictions had proved to be true.  J had come down with the illness.  That morning ended up being an exact repeat of the one in which Alan had come down sick, only with the roles reversed.

***

_I've never had to knock on wood_

_And I'm glad I  haven't yet_

_Because I'm sure it isn't good_

_That's the impression that I get_

            Alan opened the door to his house, walked in, and closed the door behind him.  "I'm home, Jules!"  Moments later, J came stumbling out of the bedroom to greet him.  She was wearing grey sweatpants and a navy blue Bridgewater College sweatshirt; whether or not she had worn these to the doctor Alan didn't know.  Her hair was tangled and mussed from the pillows, skin pale.  Her hazel eyes had a sickly green tint to them.  She looked miserable.  

            "How are you feeling?" Alan asked pointlessly.  J managed a small, unenthusiastic smile in return.  Alan winced.  "That bad, huh?  What did the doctor say?  You gonna be on the same meds that he gave me?"  J took one look at Alan, her lip quivering for an instant, before she started bawling.  Stunned, shocked, and suddenly terrified, Alan pulled J into a hug and sat down on the couch with her.  He rocked back and forth slowly, trying to calm her.   "Hey, it's okay," he soothed in low tones.  "Whatever it is, we'll get through it together.  It's alright, I'm here…shhh…" But J still continued to sob uncontrollably.  Alan didn't know what to do; he was scared to death that something was horribly wrong, and he couldn't get anything out of J.  Laying her head on his shoulder, Alan stroked her hair and murmured softly into her ear.  "It's gonna be alright, don't worry.  I just need you to talk to me, tell me what's wrong, so we can decide what we're gonna do."

            Still, the sobs shook J's body.  She did manage, however, to get a few coherent words out.  "I—I want to, but…I don't…know…how."

            An instinctive knowledge of appeared in the depths of Alan's subconscious, but did not manifest itself in anything Alan was aware of besides a strange, butterfly feeling in the pit of his stomach.  "Sweetie, you can do anything you want, I'm sure of that, but you need to tell me more than that if you want me to help you," Alan replied, kissing J's cheek.  

            There seemed no end to the tears.  "My—she wasn't there—I never had—I love you and I want—but I can't!  I don't know how!"  J's voice was increased to a near wailing pitch now.  

            Most of Alan's fear had turned to confusion by this point, however seeing J this upset made Alan panicky.  "Jules, please, tell me what's going on."

            Her tears somewhat subsided to silent streams, J buried her head in Alan's shoulder.  "I can't be a mother, I don't know how," she finally whispered.

            Every part of Alan's body, all the way down to his toes, reeled in shock.  "You're having a baby, is that what this is all about?"  Alan struggled to keep his voice calm and supportive of J's worries while balancing with his elation about becoming a father.  "WOW!  I mean…wow, Jules, that's wonderful!"  He heard J moan a little, like she was going to cry again.  Alan shifted back so he could sit up straight.  "Jules, look at me."  Slowly, J lifted her wet, tear-streaked face and met Alan's eyes.

            Alan gazed back at her with soft compassion and a message in his eyes that clearly stated that he firmly believed in the truth of what he was about to say.  "Good.  Now listen to me.  I can't think of anyone else in the world who will make a better mother than you.  And I'm not just saying that," he added, cutting J off before she could protest.  "I wish…I wish I had a mother growing up as loving as you're going to be."

            J sniffed and Alan passed her a tissue from the box on the coffee table.  She blew her nose, then looked up at Alan with a watery but grateful smile.  "Thank you."

            Alan squeezed J's hand.  "You're welcome."

            J paused for a moment until realization lit her eyes.  "We're going to have a baby.  We're going to have a baby!  I'm gonna be a mom!"  All prior anxiety gone, she beamed up at Alan, who returned the radiant grin.

            "Yeah, you are!  And I'm gonna be a dad!"  J nodded, bursting with joy.  Excitement danced in both Alan and J's eyes as they snuggled closer on the couch (Hercules perched above them and Romeo at their feet), discussing their soon-to-grow family.


	17. The Impression That I Get (part 2)

_Disclaimer: "Most of the characters still are not ours," Kora proclaims. _

_"Still?" Kelly responds. _

_"Yeah...neither are the lyrics from 'The Impression That I Get'...see ch.16's disclaimer." _

_"Do we own anything?" _

_"Well...not really," Kora says._

_*Kelly curls up in a ball and cries*  _

Chapter 17

The Impression That I Get (part 2)

_Have you ever had the odds stacked up so high_

_You need a strength most don't possess_

_Or has it ever come down to do or die_

_You've got to rise above the rest_

            J was a month along in December when she found out that she was going to have a baby.  Over the following nine months, Alan was a prime example of love and patience, dealing with the many aspects of J's pregnancy.  Morning sickness, mood swings, he saw and handled it all.  Not to mention J's (or any woman's) awesomeness for putting up with everything.  But even with the joy brought by the prospect of a baby could not last forever. The world does not stop for future additions.  

***

_You've got to rise above the rest_

_I've never had to knock on wood_

_But I know someone who has_

_Which makes me wonder if I could_

August 15, 1983.  6:03 a.m.

            "It's some sort of curse, isn't it?  First Gerry, then Dad, now Coach…"  

            Alan walked around the kitchen and rubbed J's bulging belly, a troubled but determinedly hopeful look in his eyes.  "He's not gone yet.  The heart attack just put him in a coma, it didn't kill him."

            "I know…" J sighed and chewed on her lip worriedly, eyes distressed.  "But it's just hard.  With all that's happened…"

            "I know, sweetie," Alan said softly, embracing J from the side (from the front was now impossible).  

            J barely flinched when the baby kicked.  She was so used to it by now.  His hand still on J's swollen stomach, a little smile appeared on Alan's face when he felt his son/daughter's contribution to the conversation.  Though it was nearly impossible to lift anyone's spirits with Coach's condition what it was.

            "He's going to be a great athlete," J remarked off-handedly.  "He's got such a strong kick."  

            "He?" Alan questioned, hugging J tighter.  

            "Our baby, he's going to be a boy, I just know it.  And I want to name him William Gregory."

            "That's perfect."  Alan gave his wife a final squeeze before releasing her.  "We should get ready to go.  Sheryl's waiting for us."  

            J sighed again, stretched, and took the dishes from their quick breakfast (it came after Sheryl's panicked phone call 15 minutes ago that Coach had collapsed and was now at the hospital).  Picking up a bowl of cereal, her fingers slipped and she spilled it, milk included, all over herself.  "Alllaaaaaan!" she called, exasperated.

            "Yes, dear?" he cam in from the other room.  

            "I spilled milk on myself; can you finish cleaning up while I go change?"

            "Of, course, sweetie," Alan answered, kissing her as she passed.

***

_I've never had to knock on wood_

_And I'm glad I haven't yet_

_Because I'm sure it isn't good_

_that's the impression that I get_

            A few minutes later found J and Alan pilling out of the house and into the car.  They met Sheryl at the hospital (they called Adrienne and notified her; she was getting as back to Alexandria as quickly as she could) and set up camp in/around Coach's room.  There they remained for the entire day.  Despite their constant, persistent hopes, dusk fell and there was still minimal change in Coach.

***

_I'm not a coward,_

_I've just never been tested_

_I'd like to think that if I was,_

_I would pass_

            J pushed up from the chair in which she was sitting, stood behind Alan, and massaged his shoulders.  "I need some caffeine.  I'm going to find a soda machine.  Want me to get you anything?"

            Alan turned his gaze from Coach to J, caught her hand, and kissed it.  "Any sort of cola, thanks."

            J smiled in acknowledgement and headed for the door.  She paused for a second, wincing, when the pain flashed again.  _'I must have slept in a bad position,'_ she mused.  _'My back's been killing me all day.'_

            Alan was lost in thought, particularly memories of Coach, when a blood-chilling scream made his heart stop.  He whirled around and was up out of his chair seconds later.  There in the doorway, J was doubled over, clutching her stomach with gritted teeth.  Alan rushed to her side and anxiously tried to help her stand.  He had no clue what was going on.  Sheryl stood by her father's bed, torn.  There wasn't much that she could do, but she still wanted to help J.  Nurses hustled into the room, beckoned by J's cry.  

            The head nurse took a single look at J and announced the problem.  "She's having the baby," the nurse stated matter-of-factly.  

            "Wait, what?!" Alan interrupted, panicking.  "Jules is having the baby NOW?!  She can't!  She's not due for another two weeks!"

            J glared at Alan, but the nurse held up a silencing hand and directed the other nurses to assist J to the empty bed next to Coach.  Not having yet let go of J's arm, Alan helped.  The nurse turned to Alan.  "Due dates don't mean anything to babies.  It's coming now."

            Alan worked his jaw, his eyes wide in alarm.  He glimpsed frantically at the nurse, then at J.  "Can't you make it stop?"

            J glowered murderously at Alan and made a lunge for him but another contraction caused her to scream in fury instead.  The nurse put her hand on J's arm, trying to calm her.  "No time for that, honey.  I'll let you at him later.  Right now, I need you to answer some questions for me."  She stopped for a second, directing one of the other nurses to go get a doctor from the maternity ward.  The nurse returned her gaze to J.  "Honey, you can't just go into this stage of labor so fast.  There ARE signs.  Why haven't you said anything?"

            "I didn't know," J gasped painfully.

            The nurse clucked in confusion.  "How can you not notice your water breaking?  Or the labor pains that you must have been having all day?"

            J wasn't able to answer right away, the pain being too great.  Alan sat by her side, ignoring the crushing pain in the hand that J was clutching.  That was all he knew to do, so he wasn't much more help.  Gradually, J got an answer out.  "My water—must have broke—I spilled milk—this morning.  Pains—all day—thought—back pains."  Another vigorous contraction came and J scrunched up her face, bottling the scream in her mouth.  A small noise, almost a whimper if Alan could imagine J whimpering, escaped her lips.

            Alan stroked the hand that grasped his so tightly.  "I wish I could have the baby for you," he whispered, trying to extend some comfort.  "Or at least share some of the birth pains."

            J tried to smile, but it came out more as a grimace as the contractions continued.  "That's sweet of you, Alan," she paused for a pant of air, "but you'd have killed yourself after the first contraction."  The doctor then came through the door at a rather leisurely stroll, making J want to spear something.  Just in time, too, for the baby decided that it wasn't going to wait another moment.

***

_Look at the tested and think there but for the grace go_

_I might be a coward;_

_I'm afraid of what I might find out_

            Screams, some indistinguishable and some sounding uncannily like, "get away from me!  You did this to me!" ripped through the hallways of the hospital.  Pillows were thrown, a ruckus was raised, but finally the protesting wail of a newborn baby pierced through the air.  It was when the exhausted but relieved new parents circled William in their arms that Sheryl allowed herself to look at last.  

            "Wow," she whispered, tracing a chubby finger with her own slender one.  

            "I know," Alan murmured beside her, running a hand over William's soft, light hair.  

            "It's a mix of us," J muttered, struggling to stay awake.  "His hair…it's red…but blonde…a mix of ours."  It was true: already William had a tuft (not a large tuft, but a tuft nonetheless) of strawberry blonde hair.  The nurse allowed William a few more minutes with his parents and aunt before preparing to take him away.  J objected, but the nurse assured her that she could see him again soon.

            Yet, it was a protest from one particular person that no one could ignore.  "Hey, hey, now, don't take my grandson away before I can get a good look at him," came a weak voice from the other bed.  Everyone except William jumped a little at the sound of Coach's voice.  

            "Coach!" Sheryl cried before running to his side, sudden tears unashamedly washing her wearily pale cheeks.  Alan beamed and stood between the two beds, unable to leave his son's side but wanting to be near the now-awake Coach.  J fought to sit up straight and lean in a position to directly face Coach.  

            "Looks like we're gonna be roomies," she said with her trademark puckish grin and mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

            "That it does, J," Coach replied.  He noted the inquiring glances, summed up his energy, and answered the question that was dangling on the tips of the tongues of everyone (save William) in the room.  "I heard the birth cries of my grandson.  I had to wake up and be a grandfather to the little guy."  

            The nurse gave Coach a warm smile, gently taking William and bringing him over to let Coach hold him for a bit.  For that one, perfect moment, peace and a newer, deeper sense of family reigned in the petite hospital room.


	18. Parenthood

Chapter 18

Parenthood

            Although William, Will as he was soon called, was born a couple weeks early, he turned out a very healthy baby.  He and J were released from the hospital on the same day as Coach.  With wide hazel eyes that matched his mother's perfectly, Will stared in awe out the window all the way home.  He soon made fast friends with both Romeo and Hercules (though he could do little more than gape at them).  Hercules even abandoned his usual spot between Alan and J (when they let him in the room) to curl up with Will at night.  Thus J and Alan began their life as parents.

***

Three Months Later

            A scratching at the door woke J.  Groggily, she stumbled out of bed and opened the door to find Hercules gazing expectantly at her.  She reached down to pick him up.  "Why aren't you with Will?"  J turned around and suddenly noticed that Alan wasn't in the room.  Yawning, J placed Hercules on the bed and wandered out into the hallway.

            There she heard the sound of a hushed voice coming from Will's room.  J tiptoed to the doorframe, freezing in place as she proceeded the scene.  Alan was sitting in the large, two-person green armchair, next to the baby's crib.  The crib was empty; Alan was cradling Will and softly talking to him.

            "Hey there, little guy.  It's me, your daddy.  Your daddy…" Will stirred and awoke.  Somehow he sensed the calm seriousness of the situation, and the baby stifled any cries to gaze up at Alan with trusting eyes.  Alan smiled lovingly at his son as his voice grew reflective.  "Your father.  I want you to know something.  I love you so much.  I will always love you."  Something in Alan's throat, a lump, choked him up.  "I will never, EVER, be like my father."  Alan allowed Will to grasp his pointer finger, whispering, "You'll always be safe with me.  I love you and your mother more than anything else."

            J couldn't spectate any longer.  She pushed herself from the doorframe and moved to sit beside Alan.  She wrapped her arm around him and pulled him close.  With her other arm, she helped Alan support Will.  As J rested her head on his shoulder, Alan leaned down to lightly kiss his son's forehead, then the side of his wife's.  

***

4 years later

October 3, 1987

            It was 2 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon.  J was faced with a napping husband, hyper 4-year-old son, and an infuriating case of cabin fever.  Just because she was a week or so past due date (_yes, she's got another one in the oven_) did not mean that she had to be placed under house arrest.  Mike had even forced her from work three weeks ago, forbidding her to return until at least a month after the baby was born.

            J was well beyond her bursting point.  Will, bouncing energetically from sofa to wall to ceiling, was about to wake up Alan.  If Alan woke, he would hush Will, tell him to stop disturbing Mommy, and take him out of the park, leaving J alone with the silence.  J realized that Alan was trying to be considerate, and she appreciated it and loved him very much for it, but she could only take so much empty house before the quiet drove her insane.  

            "Hey, Will," J called at a loud whisper.  "You wanna take a trip with Mommy?"  

            Immediately Will stopped running his miniature race car over the walls to nod his head vigorously at the prospect of a new adventure.  "Yeah, yeah!"

            "Alright!" J beamed and rumpled her son's red-blonde hair affectionately.  "How'd you like to come and help me pick out some more clothes or something for your little brother or sister?"

            Again Will agreed vehemently.  J nodded, barely able to contain her elation about getting out of the house.  She instructed Will to get his shoes on while she left a note for Daddy.

***

            Thirty minutes later found mother and son at Babies R Us, one pushing a relatively empty cart while the other pranced alongside, preferring to be free rather than ride in the "baby's seat."  As J browsed through the coat section, Will engaged himself in his latest and favorite game: trying to mimic as best as possible the voice that kept playing over the loudspeaker.

            "—of one!" Will had just finished repeating the most recent phrase from the speaker when he heard an odd sound.  Not odd in the sense of unfamiliar, but odd for the setting.  "Mommy, who spilled water…" Will asked, turning around.  The sight that met him caused his eyes to widen.  "Mommy!  What happened?"

            J chewed on her lip, and flashed her son an uncertain half-grin.  "Uh, Will, sweetie, looks like there's gonna be a small change of plans."

***

            The ringing of the phone woke Alan.  He slowly tripped his way to the kitchen, vaguely wondering why whoever was on the other end wouldn't hang up.  He took slight note of the message left by J before picking up the phone and answering with a sleepy, "hello?"

            Hercules, from his perch on the refrigerator, watched with mild interest as Alan's face changed from tired to shocked to panicked.  "Yes?  What?  WHAT?!"  Not bothering to change his disheveled clothing, Alan grabbed his keys from the counter, slammed the phone down on the hook, and dashed out the door. 

***

            Alan rushed into the hospital waiting room _(déjà vu, anyone?)_ to find Will, watched by a nurse, sitting on a chair.  Swinging his legs merrily to and fro, the young boy appeared very unconcerned as he sucked on the lollipop given to him by the nurse.  Alan halted, panting, and addressed the two waiting for him.  "What happened?"

            Will jumped from his seat and ran to his father's side.  Alan knelt down so that he was eye level with Will.  A delighted, four-year-old boy grin played on Will's face as he spread his arms wide and laughed in glee.  "Mommy peed her pants!"

***

            Coach arrived within ten minutes to take Will home with him.  There was no reason for Will to remain at the hospital for the duration of J's labor.  It was a long, loonnng labor.  By the time that Coach and Will returned the following morning to see how J was doing, she still had not delivered the baby.

            The doctor decided to resort to more drastic measures to retrieve the baby.  _(an: i'm not sure if a procedure like that, to rush labor, is really possible or not, but it's not that big a deal so just go along with me)._  In order to do so, more people were required in the room, which consequently forced a very unhappy Alan out.  He took to pacing the waiting room, observed by a drowsy Will working on another lollipop and a calm Coach browsing the morning's newspaper.

            When J's cries, heralding the coming of the newest addition to the Yoast family, filled the air, Alan stopped dead in his tracks.  He fixated himself as close to the door as he could, pressing his face up against the glass.  Yet, he was unable to see anything because a group of nurses were blocking the view.  Not too much later, Alan was nearly knocked to the ground when a nurse, holding a baby, came through the door.  She gently handed it to Alan with a congratulatory smile.  "Here's your daughter!"

            Alan's lips pursed softly in his visage of disbelief as he examined every inch of his daughter.  Focusing so intently on her, he barely noticed anything else around him.  "A little girl, I have a little girl!" he breathed to himself.  Alan did not register the same nurse coming through the door once again.  

With a crooked, amused grin, she held out her full arms to Alan.  "And here's your other daughter!"  Alan's jaw scraped the floor as he nearly fainted.  

            Coach was off his feet in a matter of seconds to support the stumbling Alan from behind.  "Thank you, miss," he said, taking his granddaughter from the nurse.  "Since my son is still a little stunned, might I ask for him how J is doing?"

            "Oh she's fine," the nurse answered reassuringly.  "She's asleep, though.  Giving birth to twins really wore her out."

            "Not surprising," Coach replied as he shifted his granddaughter's weight.  "Could you let us know when she wakes up?"

            "Certainly," the nurse said before disappearing.  

            Alan continued to gape from his one daughter to the other, and finally at Will, who was much more awake.  Now up from his seat, he was studying his sisters gravely.  Suddenly, a mischievous grin broke through on his face as he remembered the phrase from the loudspeaker at the door the day before.  Joyfully, Will proclaimed, "two for the price of one!"


	19. Umm...Alan?

Chapter 19

Umm…Alan?

            The twins, Christine Rose (Chrissy) and Shannon Chloe (Shay), brought madness along with pleasure to their parents' lives.  Caring for a set of baby girls along with an ever-energetic Will wasn't easy, but with people like Coach's help, J and Alan managed.

            Chrissy, the elder by 3 minutes, soon produced a head of curly blond hair that complemented her sparkling blue-grey eyes nicely.  As soon as she was old enough, Chrissy showed signs of inheriting her father's artistic talent.  Chrissy's first "weapon of choice," however, was the one area that Alan never touched: painting.  During her preschool years, Chrissy produced enough water colors and finger paints to cover the refrigerator in layers.

            Shay, obviously the younger, took longer to gain her hair.  Once it did grow in, the chocolate curls burst forth with a vengeance.  With flashing light blue eyes, (complete with hazel flecks) Shay's short preschool attention span was not held for long by any one particular activity.  She went from sports to art to building blocks quickly, and it would not be until high school that she found her niche.

            _But that's still a little while down the road.  Our next event of import takes place only three years later._

***

            February 28, 1990

            _Do I even need to tell you what Alan and J managed to go and do again?  I shouldn't have to.  So let's just skip the pleasantries and get straight to the facts.  This is J's last day of work before going on maternity leave.  However, her water broke in the morning.  It was so small that J didn't even notice; the fact that she was showering at the time probably didn't help any.  Once the labor pains began, J thought that she could put it off until lunch.,  A little naïve, but this is stubborn J we're talking about.  One minor detail that she forgot—Sunshine and Adrienne were in the area, and they are supposed to go out to lunch with Alan and J.  So come the period before lunch break, things became rather interesting…_

            J had only 20 more minutes to go until lunch when she went into the final stage of labor.  Between all the screaming, she got the words: "baby" and "Alan" out.  Her cries attracted teachers from the hallway and other rooms as one of her students leapt from his seat and raced to the Art Department.  The student collapsed in the doorway of Alan's classroom in the middle of his lesson.  His shoulders heaving from the run, the student panted, "baby."

            Alan's eyes went huge.  He dropped the piece of charcoal that he had been using to demonstrate the effects of proper shadowing and sped to the Music Center.  By the time he made it there, a crowd of curious teachers and students had swarmed in the room, circling J.  It included Sunshine, who had arrived early with Adrienne (who was off calling an ambulance).  Sunshine helped Alan push through the group to J.  She was half-sitting, half-lying where she previously had been standing.  

            Alan dropped to his knees, clutched her hands, and helped her breathe.  J glanced up with pained eyes to Mike, who had also made his way through the chaos.  "The baby's coming NOW" she gasped, "no time for explanations."

            Mike nodded and let out an ear-splitting whistle that silenced the room.  "I want EVERYONE under the age of 21 out of here!" he bellowed.  Muttering in disappointment—it wasn't every day that your teacher went into labor in the middle of class—the students trickled out.  Many teachers remained, though.  Mike frowned at them.  "Everyone…who has not kissed this woman, out of the room!" he ordered.  The teachers departed.  Now the room was empty except for Mike, Alan, J, and Sunshine.  Mike whirled around on the latter and eyed him suspiciously.  

            Sunshine shrugged meekly with an apologetic smile.  "We dated a bit back in high school…" he offered for an explanation.  

            Mike rolled his eyes and sighed.  "Fine.  You can stay."  Just then, Adrienne rushed into the room.  "And who the devil are you?" Mike said, exasperated.  

            Adrienne stared at him, confused, until he remembered.  "Oh…that's right, family.  Along with Mister High School back there."  Mumbling about a school and circus rings, Mike made his way out of the room to decide what to do about the students clustered in the hallway.

***

            The ambulance came as fast as it could, but not before the baby arrived.  Alan, finally reasonably calm after his frenzied panic during the first two births, delivered the baby under Adrienne's direction.  Sunshine gritted his teeth nearly as hard as J, and almost screamed along with her as J grasped his hand painfully tight.  He was the replacement after Alan had let go to play doctor.  Sunshine had his eyes squeezed shut as well, for the few times that he dared to open them, he turned a squeamish green.

            Despite all the adventure surrounding his birth, a healthy Caleb Joshua went home soon after the entire ordeal.  The dirt-brown haired, hazel-eyed fourth Yoast child was the quietest of the family, the opposite of his older brother.  Caleb preferred calmer games to running around noisily, and once he was old enough, he was most often found with his nose buried in a book.

            _Life was supposed to be normal after that.  As normal as life can get with children, anyway.  But when does life ever do what it's supposed to?  Especially when we're talking about Alan and J._

***

August 1994

            J peeked around the corner of the living room to see Alan hiding behind a newspaper.  She couldn't help but smile; Alan had picked up more of Coach's habits than either of them cared to admit.  Sighing heavily, she massed her courage.  With the kids still asleep and time till they needed to be up, now was probably best.  She shuffled into the room and sat down beside Alan.  Focusing more on the sofa than on him, J cleared her throat.  "Umm…Alan?"

            Alan folded the newspaper and put it down at the sound of her voice.  "Yes, dear?"

            J met eyes with Alan and did her best to send him the perfect puppy dog look.  "You love me, right?"

            "Of course," Alan replied, suppressing a smile.  He was certain that Jules knew that he loved her.  

            Continuing her puppy dog act, J asked, "you love our kids, right?"

            Alan was slightly wounded now.  What was going on?  Was he doing something?  _Wasn't_ he doing something?  "You know I do."

            J lowered her eyes from Alan's and played with her fingers.  "How would you feel about having more?"

            Now confusion.  What was this about?  Slowly, Alan answered.  "Well…I don't know.  How would you feel about it?  I guess we'd have to think about it…"

            J cleared her throat again and scuffed the carpet with her foot guiltily.  "Umm…Alan…well…it's a little too late for how we feel…but we've got nine months to think about it."


	20. Catching Up With the Yoast Children

Chapter 20

Catching Up With the Yoast Children

            _I'm sure you're all bracing yourselves for what happens with this baby.  It's Alan and J's fifth, this one definitely wasn't planned, and so much happened with the other babies…so what happens?  Ooh!  Does J give birth on a football field?  That would be coo!.  But no.  Nothing out of the ordinary happens.  J's water broke in the middle of the night, they made their way to the hospital, and the baby was born.  It's that simple._

***

            Kathryn Amy's birth made things a tad more interesting in the Yoast household.  Will was 12, Chrissy and Shay 8, and Caleb 5 when Kate was born.  In order to make room for the new baby, the attic was fixed up and turned into a bedroom for Will.  Caleb moved into Will's room, his room became Kate's, and the twins stayed where they already were.

            As Will grew, he reminded everyone more and more of Gerry.  An athlete to the core, he was always busy with sports.  Football in the fall, basketball in the spring, and baseball in the winter.  He met his first serious girlfriend, Lanie, through baseball.  Every May to close out the season, T.C. Williams held a boys baseball vs. girl's softball game.  Lanie was the pitcher for the girl's softball team, and she struck out baseball team star Will every time he stepped up to the plate.  A fierce rivalry followed by a blossoming romance ensued.  

            Chrissy started dating about the same time as her sister: early.  However, after a messy break up in the 7th grade, she refused to even consider the prospect of a boyfriend throughout the rest of her middle and high school career.  Instead, she focused on her academics and her art.  Things changed come her first day of college.  One class sitting across from the mysterious abstract painter Bryan, and Chrissy was head-over heels infatuated by the end of the day.

            As mentioned earlier, Shay started dating young.  She dated and dated, but never held a boyfriend for long.  It remains a mystery why to this day.  This went on for awhile, even continuing on into high school.  There, she found her extracurricular calling: debate.  It was debate that introduced her to her first steady boyfriend: Aaron.  Shay was on the late-bus heading home form a debate meeting when Aaron, fresh from band practice, sate next to her.  It was a high school romance from then on. 

            Lastly we come to Caleb.  His introverted personality soon proved to stem from a mind so full of but still thirsty for ideas that he threw himself into his school work.  When he had free time, Caleb's time was consumed with either books or writing.  Caleb took advanced English courses all through high school and won himself a National Merit Scholarship for an essay he wrote early senior year.  It paid for every cent of his college tuition (_one of those does exist, ya know ;)_).  It came as a shock to everyone when Caleb came home one day starry-eyed and able to speak of nothing save raven-haired Abby.  Abby…the girl he met in Barnes and Nobles.  They both reached for the same book at the same time, and their fingertips brushed.  To hear Caleb talk about it was to get a long lecture on fate.

            _A short chapter, I know *smiles sheepishly*  hehe…say hi to my math class, everybody!  Sorry…I'm bored.  Anyhew, I had to stop here because all that's left is Kate.  Now, I know that my characters are like my children and I'm supposed to love them all equally…but I'm slightly ashamed to admit that Kate is my favorite.  I can't really explain it; I can only take a stab at why.  The intrigue of creating an "oops!" baby caused me to lavish all the fun traits upon her, and make up all the fun stories that I really want to tell about her.  I love all the others, I really do, but Kate holds a special place in my heart.  If you really want to know more about Will, Chrissy, Shay, and Caleb, email me with what you want and I'll do my best to write something up for you.  On to Kate's story…_


	21. Kate

Chapter 21

Kate

            At first, everyone thought that Kate was going to have hair matching her mother's, for it was the exact same color.  When it grew, though, it turned out straight.  Kate also inherited her father's blue eyes.  Although her eyes were her father's, Kate took more after her mother.  The same mischievous twinkle and puckish grin alighted her face.  An incident, as innocent as it was, foreshadowed Kate's future hobby…

***

            Alan arose early one Saturday morning, the dawn of his and J's anniversary.  Kate was four at the time.  Everyone else in the house was asleep, or so Alan thought.  As he entered the kitchen, he froze.  Every inch of the counter and the table were powdered with a dusting of flour; some even floated down to settle on the floor.   Milk was splattered on some parts of the flour, turning it into a pasty mess.  Egg, orange juice, and other unidentifiable substances decorated the kitchen as well.

            Furiously stirring (which involved more splashing than actual mixing) a bowl in the center of all the mess was Kate, covered head to toe in her concoction.  When she heard Alan enter, she gasped and took one glance at Alan's shocked face.  There was a breathless second of wide eyes and a quivering lip before Kate burst into tears.  "I'm sorry, Da-daddy," she stuttered, sobbing.  "I just wan-ted to make break-fast for you and Mom-mmy!  For your anni-ver-sry!"  

            Alan masked his intentions from his face as he crept over to Kate and sank onto the floor, taking her hand and gently pulling her down with him.  Alan gathered Kate into his lap and smoothed the hair back from her forehead.  "It's okay, Katie," he soothed, using his special name for her.  "That was very sweet of you, getting up early to make breakfast for us.  I'm not mad, don't worry."

            "You're not?" Kate ventured in a teeny voice.

            "No, honey, I'm not.  And I'll tell you what, Mommy's still asleep, so how 'bout we clean up a little, then I'll help you make breakfast for her.  You wanna do that?"

            Kate nodded, sniffling.

            Alan kissed her floury cheek, "good," and stood, Kate still in his arms.

***

            Their first warning actually came long before that.  Kate's birthday was April 1, 1995.  Note the month and date.  Alan and J should have known from right then what Kate was going to do with every ounce of her spare time as soon as she was old enough to be diabolical.

            Originally, it seemed that Kate had inherited her mother's musical talents.  Kate took immediate interest, at not even a year old, in the piano that sat in the dining room.  At two years of age she abandoned pounding the piano keys mercilessly for the melodic strings for J's guitar.  From then on, she and the guitar were inseparable.

            Even with the guitar taking up some of her time, Kate's attention did not focus primarily on music for long.  As mentioned earlier, Kate was born on April Fool's Day.  She was destined to become a prankster, and Kate fulfilled her calling with the greatest of enthusiasm, energy, and ingenuity.  Frogs, spiders, bugs, worms, spiders, and an assortment of other creatures that belong in the wild, not in pillowcases, began to make friends with Chrissy and Shay's beds.  Tape recorders hid under seats in the cars that her older brothers and sisters used on dates.  Shampoo was replaced by mud, hair dye found its way into hair spray…and all this before Kate was ten years of age.  

            Perhaps the most noteworthy of pranks was one that didn't even get pulled off, but still managed to result in a trip to the hospital…

***

            By this time, Kate was 5 and Will 17.  Seems like a young age to be attempting what she's about to attempt, but Kate had too much of her mother in her to do anything otherwise.  It was a fine Friday afternoon.  Will  had just arrived home from school, fresh from picking up Kate from Coach's (she had morning kindergarten classes, and he picked her up and watched her for the early afternoon before Will was home from school).  Chrissy, Shay, Caleb, Alan, and J would all be arriving home shortly, at slightly different times.  This time, however, there was an additional passenger in Will's car: Lanie.

            It all happened too quickly.  Will was showing Lanie the sports trophies in his room.  Kate, ever curious, decided that it would not only be prankish but funny as well to climb the tree conveniently located directly outside of Will's bedroom window.  Kate never made it all the way up.  As soon as J and Alan were entering the house, they heard a crunch, snap, shriek, and crashing thud emanate from the back yard all in a matter of seconds.

            The entire family plus Lanie, who had caught the last moment of the fall with Will from the bedroom window, rushed into the back yard to find Kate, clutching her arm, sprawled awkwardly out on the grass.  

***

            After a brief but fevered discussion with Will, Lanie was dropped off and their entire family made their way to the hospital.  "You were supposed to be watching your sister!  And you had a GIRL in your ROOM!"

            "I thought she was watching cartoons, and we weren't doing anything!"

            "That doesn't matter!  You had a girl in the room without us knowing!  And you should have been paying more attention to your sister!  She's only 5 years old!"

            "Uhhh…hey, Mom, Kate doesn't look too good…how 'bout I drive us to the hospital."

            "Of course you will, but you're still grounded." 

            The receptionists were delighted to see again the many children that had as babies past through the hospital doors, but were relieved to find that J and Alan weren't back because of a new one.  Kate's arm was fractured, but luckily, it was not a full break.  For all that they were upset, J and Alan weren't surprised that it was Kate who managed to pull of this sort of last-minute trip to the hospital.  What they weren't excepting was whom they met there.  


	22. Letting Go

Chapter 22

Letting Go

            Alan and J were sitting in the waiting room while Kate was getting her x-ray done when Caleb came running up to them, pulling a familiar hand (attached to an arm, then a body) behind him.  "Mom, Dad," he cried, "look who I found!"  It was Coach.

            Immediately, Alan and J stood.  Coach glanced, surprised, back and forth between the two of them.  "That was quick.  I thought Sheryl just went to call you."

            J exchanged confused looks with Alan just as Sheryl bustled into the room.  "They weren't home.  I left a message, but…" she trailed off upon noticing Alan and J.

            "What are you doing here?" all four adults asked at once.  They laughed, and J answered first.  "We're waiting for x-ray results.  Kate fell from that big tree in the back yard, and probably broke something."

            Coach winced, but smiled fondly.  "That's my granddaughter, not wasting any time.  She reminds me of you, J, at her age.  Why, I can think of the one time…"

            J cleared her throat nervously and changed the subject.  "Yes, well, let's not get into that right now…what are you guys doing here?"

            Before Coach could answer, Shay wandered back into the room, returning successfully (she had a bag of pretzels in hand) from her quest to find a vending machine.  "Hey Grandpa, Aunt Sheryl," she said, then addressed her parents.  "Is there some family reunion thing going on in the hospital?  'Cause I just saw Aunt Adrienne and Uncle Sunshine a second ago.  I mean, Kate's injury isn't THAT serious, is it?"

            The slightly amused grins faded from Sheryl and Coach's faces as everyone turned to them for an explanation.

***

            Adrienne and Sheryl's mother, Coach's former wife, had had a heart attack.   It was more than enough to bring her daughters to the hospital.  Coach went as well, for the feelings between them weren't very bitter, certainly not enough to keep him from at least being there to support his daughters.  After Kate was diagnosed and slapped with a cast, J took the kids home.  She wanted to stay, as Sheryl and Adrienne were her friends, but she and Alan did not expect their kids to sit around at a hospital for a women they barely knew of that wasn't really related to them. 

            J convinced Alan to stay.  It wasn't that he didn't want to, but he also did not want to abandon J.  Once she assured him that he wasn't abandoning, J took her leave with the kids.  Alan stayed, mostly for moral support.  He did not know the woman in question by much more than name and word of mouth; he had only met her a few times when he as young.  Yet, Coach was his father, and Adrienne and Sheryl his sisters.  Perhaps he could help them cope with the feelings they were experiencing, as he had been through a somewhat similar situation with his own mother.

            Sheryl was dealing with everything better than Adrienne.  Having been much younger when their mother left them, most of her life had been spent without a mother.  For Adrienne, however the sense of losing this same person for a second time dealt a harder blow.  Although she drew wellsprings of comfort from her husband, in whom she of course confided everything, it was through Alan's  help that Adrienne best came to terms with all that had happened/was happening and what she was feeling.

***

            "Even though we still kept up a decent relationship," she told Alan later that night, "I never really talked to her about how I felt because of what she did.  Leaving us like that."

            "But didn't you have the choice to go and live with her?" Alan questioned gently.

            Adrienne shook her head no.  "There was never a choice.  Maybe there technically was, but neither Sheryl nor I ever considered it an option.  She was the one leaving him.  We couldn't desert him too."

            Alan nodded in understanding.  "I would have done the same thing too, if I had been living with you at the time."

            Adrienne inhaled and exhaled heftily, rubbing her face with her hands.   "What do I do now?  We don't have much time left…there's no denying it.  I feel so many things…anger, aggression, fear, sadness…"

            Alan fixed his gaze with hers, and told her the truth that he had come to find, not so easily, over the years.  "You let it all go.  It know it's hard, but you have to.  If you want to truly make peace with her now, before it's too late, you let it all go.  Look her in the eye and honestly tell her how the things she's done have made you feel, but then forgive her.  Then you will feel lighter than you have in a long time."

            Adrienne closed her eyes and placed her folded hands over her mouth.  She remained that way for awhile, thinking.  Finally, she opened her eyes and released a relieved breath.  "Thank you.  I will."

            Alan pulled her into a hug.  "Anything, sis."


	23. Old Interests Resurface

Chapter 23

Old Interests Resurface

            Kate recovered well from her fall, and the years continued on.  By the time Kate was 14, a freshmen in high school, Will was in his late 20's and long gone, and Shay and Chrissy were 22 and out of the house as well.  Caleb was 19 and in college, though he still came home for breaks and the odd weekend.

            Kate's interests remained much the same as a high school student as they had the rest of her life.  Pranks were still high on her list of favorite activities, but she took an interest in other things too.  Kate loved sports…but not the traditional kind.  When she was in 5th grade, she had spied a neighborhood kid riding around on a skateboard, and from then on, she was transfixed.  Once she was in high school, Kate was rather adept at boarding.

            Also, Kate was still addicted to her acoustic, and after much begging, she was given an electric guitar (that she helped buy) in middle school.  Yet,  her interest in that field was as follows: when it's too rainy or cold to be out boarding, and there are not pranks to be pulled, then I like to jam.

            Kate's list of hobbies included nothing extracurricular.  Having four brothers and sisters that had each done something after school (Chrissy had been in art club and Caleb an editor on the school's newspaper) somehow turned Kate off to the idea.  She also claimed that there was nothing she wanted to do after school.  SO it came as a shock to  her parents one day when she made a little announcement.

***

            J and Alan came home to a relatively quiet house.  If Kate wasn't out boarding (which she wasn't, for her skateboard was in the garage), she usually had music or the t.v. blasting.  Kate was only quiet when she was planning something.  Curiously, J made her way up to Kate's room.  She was shocked to find Kate frowning at her keyboard—one that hadn't seen anything outside of Kate's closet in years.  Frustrated, Kate glanced up at the music she had before her, then back down at the keys, trying to figure out how to play it.

            J walked quietly into the room and sat beside Kate on the bed.  "_Annie Get Your Gun_?  That's a good musical.  I've never liked the ending, though.  In the historical story—"

            "Don't tell me," Kate said, looking up at her mother.  "We're watching it in music class and we haven't gotten to the end yet." 

            J nodded, "fair enough.  I heard that it's the musical that your school's doing this year."  

            Kate shifted on the bed so she could face J.  "Yeah, we are, that's why we're watching it in class.  Oh, and that reminds me, I  have to tell you something."

            J cocked her head and smiled crookedly at her daughter.  "Good or bad?"

            Kate laughed, her cerulean eyes twinkling.  "You're strange, Mom.  And it's good, don't worry.  I just gotta let you know that I'll be taking the late bus home for about a month or so.  'Cause I'm staying after school."

            J blinked in surprise, but soon recovered and rubbed Kate's back encouragingly.  "It's a shock, but if that's what you want to do, then great!  Might I ask why?"

            Kate's cheeks reddened a bit.  "I know it seems not me…but when I heard what the musical was, and who it was about…it seemed kinda cool.  So I tried out…and thought I didn't get a lead, I'm Steph's understudy.  She's playing Annie Oakley."  Kate smiled sheepishly at J, who was staring, slack jawed, back at her.

***

            Kate's news came as a pleasant shock to everyone.  No one could have expect that Kate was interested in doing musicals, but all were very proud.  Kate even informed her parents that the music teacher, Mr. Nelson, had told her that even through she was only a freshman, she was good enough for the part of Annie Oakley.

            Yet, Steph was a senior, and the Golden Girl of T.C. Williams.  She was class president, president of the National Honors Society, and had enough talent oozing out of her pores to be a shoe-in for the lad of the musical.  So to Steph the part went.  Kate didn't begrudge the girl; Steph had earned the part, and she still had three more years of high school to prove herself.  Things changed one normal day.

***

            It was 4 p.m. on a Wednesday that spring, and Kate was at musical practice.  In fact, everyone else involved was at practice, everyone except for Steph.  Steph had not mentioned anything about not being at practice.  There was a National Honors Society meeting, however, so Mr. Nelson figured that Steph was there.  Still, they had to continue with practice.  So Mr. Nelson asked Kate if she would run through "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better," with Jake, the senior who was playing Frank (the male lead).

            With an amused giggle, Kate did.  She and Jake stunned everyone present.  There was only one thing that Steph was missing, and that was chemistry with Jake.  Kate sizzled with chemistry.  Perhaps it was because she had known Jake since she was a baby.  Jake was a close friend of Caleb's, so he was often around her growing up.

            When Kate and Jake finished the song, an applause louder than all else's echoed from the back of the auditorium.  Standing at the mouth of the auditorium was Steph, applauding wildly.  She jogged to the state with a cryptic grin on her face.  Giving Kate a thumbs up, Steph leaned over and whispered something into Mr. Nelson's ear.

***

            Steph was overwhelmed with all the schoolwork and extra activities that she was trying to juggle.  She had been running at top speed from the NHS meeting when she reached the hallway outside the auditorium.  She was brought to a halt by the strong, clear performance put on by Jake and Kate.

            Steph had already decided that she needed to lighten her load, but until that moment, she hadn't been able to pick which activity to drop.  Hearing and seeing that Kate worked much more smoothly with Jake than she did, Steph gave the lead to her understudy.  So, with three weeks left till opening night, Kate undertook the title role for T.C. Williams' production of _Annie Get Your Gun_. 

***  
            Caleb came back during spring break to see Kate perform.  Immediately upon learning whom  her romantic lead was, he pulled Jake aside and warned him to be careful around Kate.  "I know you're Frank and she's Annie, but try anything on my baby sister and I'll be forced to kill you."

            Despite anything that could have potentially worked against the entire cast, the musical was a spectacular success.  Thus began a new chapter in Kate's life that would never truly end.


	24. Old Habits Don't Die

_Disclaimer—the lyrics from "show me" from "my fair lady" do not belong to us, they belong to alan jay lerner, who wrote them, and probably frederick lowe too b/c he co-wrote the musical.  whichever, whomever…they don't belong to us so whatever._

Chapter 24

Old Habits Don't Die

            Sophomore year Kate won the role of Maria in _The Sound of Music_.  The production of this musical passed without much incident.  There was only one hitch, and that was getting Kate to follow the script during certain parts.  Kate often had to be restrained from kicking the lead male in the shins (on a few occasions she wasn't stopped in time) before she remembered that the things he was saying weren't really from him, but from the script.  Such was the degree to which Kate immersed herself in the story and character.

***

            Even her newly found love of musicals could not stifle Kate's basic instinct.  In fact, the cast and crew of each new musical she performed in provided her with a wellspring of unsuspecting victims.  Pranks reigned supreme, courtesy of Kate, on the set of most play practices.  Whenever anyone complained, Kate replied that she was merely being professional.  It was common practice for there to be a prankster on the set of movies and Broadway plays.

            That year, Jake was coming back with Caleb for part of spring break to see Kate in _The Sound of Music_.  The day before they got out, Alan, J, and Kate went up to the college to help Caleb pack.  As soon as they arrived, Kate disappeared, saying that she wanted to go find something to eat.  Her parents let her go, but not without the slightly uneasy feeling that she might be planning something.

            Kate shocked everyone when she returned a few hours later, snacks from the cafeteria and admissions information in hand.  There was no sign of anything out of place anywhere.  Everything of Caleb's was securely locked in the car, and his dorm room was prank free.  Kate was in the process of smiling innocently at her parents and brother when a surprised and angry roar sounded from a room down the hallway.  

            Alan, J, and Caleb rushed to investigate as Kate followed peacefully behind them, her innocent smile changing to a satisfied smirk.  The yell came from Jake's room, and from his lungs.  He'd just finished his own packing when he returned to find his room now inhabited with by a zoo of native college wildlife.  Crows and robins cawed and chirped, fluttering from spot to spot to avoid being run over by the squirrels that raced from bedpost to doorframe.  A groundhog burrowed its way deeper beneath Jake's bed.

            Everyone turned to Kate when they finished taking in the scene.  Some fumed, others waited for an explanation with raised eyebrows.  Kate shrugged her shoulders and grinned.  "I figured Jake could use a few dorm-sitters over spring break."

***

            In Kate's junior year, she was cast as Eliza Doolittle in _My Fair Lady_.  This was a part she thoroughly enjoyed, though she had a long argument with Mr. Nelson about cutting out the song "Why Can't A Woman Be More Like A Man?"  She also balked when she saw the type of dress that she was to wear for the ball scene.  Kate could tolerate wearing simpler dresses, but it took much urging to get her into the fancy one.

            During that production, Kate bonded more not with Sean, the boy playing Henry Higgins, but with fellow junior Drew, the one playing Freddy.  Drew was amused and even inspired by Kate's antics.  The two were soon a zany and near-inseparable pair.

***

            Alan poured three glasses of orange juice and smiled lovingly as J stumbled into the kitchen.  "Good morning, honey," he said after he kissed her.  A smile flickered on then off on J's face—the best answer Alan was going to get until she woke up.  Alan held back a laugh and motioned for J to sit.  "I made us breakfast, like I always do.  Where's Kate?  Still getting dressed?"

            J nodded silently and dug into her cereal.  Alan sighed and sat down.  It was a typical weekday morning: he woke first, made breakfast, and Kate and J eventually forced themselves out of bed to come eat with him.  Neither his wife nor his daughter were morning people, though Kate could be coxed into being a little less hostile in the morning than what was possible with J.

            Kate was making her way down the stairs when a sound stopped her descent and her parents' eating.  A voice came from outside on her lawn.  A familiar voice singing a familiar song that Kate as working on at that time.  

            "Speak, and the world is full of singing, and I am winging higher than the birds…"

            Alan and J paused, spoons in the air, and watched as Kate jumped down the remaining steps, ran to the door, and throw it open with blazing eyes.  She stomped up to Drew, the owner of the voice, took a deep breath, and retorted (in song),

            "Words, words, words, I'm so SICK of words!  I get words all day through, first from HIM!," a wild point to the house, "now from you!  Is that all you blighters can do?!"

            J and Alan stood from the table and plodded to the doorway, observing their daughter and her cast mate continue the rest of the song without breaking character for a moment.  Slowly, an enigmatic grin crept upon J's face as she continued to study Kate and Drew.  Alan glanced from her to Drew and Kate then back again.

            "What…are they doing?" Alan asked.  J shushed him, swatted his arm, and continued to watch the youth with an ever-growing smile.


	25. From Eliza and Freddy to Maria and Tony

Chapter 25

From Eliza and Freddy to Maria and Tony

            Drew's strange escapades with Kate did not stop at early morning musical practices.  They continued to the end of junior year and through the summer.  The reason for such strange behavior might be found in a simple study of Drew's motivations.

            Drew did not meet Kate until he was cast as the bearer of unrequited love for her character.  At first, all the lovey-dovey jokes that the two constantly made were merely fun and games between friends, poking fun at their _My Fair Lady_ characters.  When the play ended, but the serenades at Kate's window continued, everyone seemed to get a clue.  Everyone, that is, except for Kate.

            The entire situation gave Alan grey hair, much to the exasperation of J.  One such day when a case of this occurred was a lazy midsummer morning when Kate discovered a row of flowers planted beneath her windowsill.  J pulled Alan aside as he was on his way out to have a discussion with Drew, saying that they needed to have one of their own.

            "He's singing songs outside my daughter's window, planting her flowers, and who knows what else!" Alan protested.

            J calmly placed her hands on her hips.  "So?"  
            "So?!" Alan's eyes widened and he took to pacing.  "So…you know what that means!"

            J stopped Alan's pacing by putting her hands on his shoulders and steadying him to a halt.  "Alan, look at me."  Reluctantly, Alan did so.  "Good.  Now, how much younger were Chrissy and Shay than Kate is now when we let them date?  Five years?  Five years that involve a lot of maturing."

            Alan licked his lips, his eyes casting a worried gaze toward Kate's room, and continued to protest.  "Yes…but that was nothing.  It was middle school dating that never lasted for more than a few weeks.  You've seen all the things Drew's been doing.  He's serious."

            J stuck a finger under Alan's chin and titled it until his eyes looked directly into hers.  "Were we serious when you wrote me that letter and when I climbed up that tree outside your room in the middle of the night?"

            Alan drew back a little, shocked that she even had to ask that question, and confused with how it related to the issue at hand.  "Of course!"

            "And…" J continued with a smile, "hadn't we been going out for almost a year by the summer between our junior and senior years?"

            Alan worked his jaw, trying to put his anxiety into understandable words.  "But we had known each other all our lives!  And…" he added in a whisper, "she's my little girl."

            J softened, took Alan's hands, and squeezed them.  "I know, honey…but she's growing up.  You have to let her.  Drew is a good guy, he respects Kate.  She doesn't know about how he feels yet…you're going to have to trust them and let it work it out for themselves."

            Alan sighed heavily and nodded in compliance, sinking onto the sofa.  "But she's still my little girl…" he murmured.

***

            Despite all of Drew's subtle hints, Kate remained oblivious to his true feelings toward her.  This continued on through senior year until that spring, and Kate's last high school musical.  After auditions, Kate was tickled to see herself cast as Maria and Drew as Tony for _West Side Story_.  The idea of playing a romantic part with Drew, one of her closest friends, caused Kate to burst out in laughter any time they rehearsed one of the romantic scenes.

            The only other problem that production was persuading Kate to sing "I'm So Pretty."  The problem was solved when Kate learned how to choke down the gagging reflex that kicked in whenever she heard the lyrics.  But she forced herself to sing it, claiming that if she could convince people that she truly felt "so pretty," than she was a good actor.

            Though being Juliet to Drew's Romeo amused Kate, it had an opposite affect on Drew.  Telling Kate that he loved her and hearing it back from her, only to know that it was all only acting, hurt him deeply.  Still, nothing he could do save outright telling Kate would make her aware of how he felt.  Only…this was Kate, the Kate who never looked at guys for anything other than friends, who thought watching a romantic comedy was quite enough "sappy stuff" for the next month or so, and the Kate who probably would only laugh at him and wouldn't believe him if he told her.

***

            Practice was over, but Kate and Drew wanted to go through a couple scenes once or twice more.  Since there were still sports teams at the school, the two were allowed to stay for another half an hour.  After running through the scenes in question long enough to satisfy both of their high expectations, Drew and Kate cleaned up what little remained of the set.  Out of nowhere, Drew got a crazy notion, and decided to act on it.  Nothing else so far had worked, and he was beginning to give up hope.

***

            Kate plopped the box down on its proper stack, straightened, turned around, and jumped.  Drew was right behind her.  "Geez!  You scared me!" she exclaimed, eyes flashing.  "What are you do—"  
            Then she couldn't speak.  It's rather hard to talk when someone else's mouth is pressed against your own.  A million thoughts soared through Kate's mind: surprise, confusion, anger, and one she couldn't place, in that one split second before her gut instinct (fine-tuned by growing up with two older brothers) kicked in.  Without really knowing what she was doing, Kate's fist flew up from her side and collided with Drew's jaw.

            Yelping, Drew pulled away and clutched at the side of his mouth in pain.  Drawing her arm back, Kate squeaked at what she had done, and momentarily forgot what caused her to punch one of her best friends.  "Oh, Drew, my gosh, I am SO sorry!" she cried, running over to his side and examining the quickly-forming bruise on his jaw bone.  "That was totally my reflexes, I didn't mean—"

            "It's alright," Drew assured her in a wincing voice.  "I brought that upon myself.  I should have known…"

            "Kate pushed her dark brown hair (dyed temporarily to better fit the part of Maria) out of her eyes and grabbed Drew's arm, pulling him after her.  "At least let me get you some ice…" she offered, taking him down to the cafeteria.  

***

            Kate did get Drew ice for his jaw.  After that, they parted ways for the night.  The following day at school found them both acting as if nothing had happened, and delicately avoiding the subject.  The subject was continually avoided into _West Side_ practice.  Things changed when they rehearsed the dance in the gym scene.  Just as Maria and Tony did, Kate and Drew locked eyes through the crowd from across the room.  Slowly, they melted through the crowd of people into each other's arms.

            _'The script, remember the script!'_ Drew urged himself mentally as he placed his hands tenderly on Kate's face.

            Kate swallowed a lump in her throat, and forced her mind to focus only on the script and not the previous afternoon's events.  She laid her hands across Drew's shoulders and tried to keep her mind blank. 

            When Maria and Tony kissed, the script dissolved.  The electricity zinging from Drew to Kate and back again banished every thought but each other from their minds.  The script called for Tony and Maria to break apart almost immediately, interrupted by the angered cries of their respective family/gang members.  Such was not the case for Kate and Drew.  Angry calls filled the auditorium, but the couple did not budge, if they had even heard at all.  Nothing tore them apart until Mr. Nelson's beckoning cough shattered the moment.

            Blushing, Kate and Drew separated.  Yet, though they separated, they were finally together.


	26. Forever and Beyond

Chapter 26  
  
Forever and Beyond  
  
Now that they were together, Drew and Kate sizzled with more chemistry than ever before. This  
  
made the West Side Story production a gripping event that memorized all attendees. Alan found  
  
himself choking up a bit at the final scene, when Maria threw herself, sobbing, over Tony's  
  
motionless body.  
  
Perhaps this display of emotion had to do with Kate's excellent performance, or maybe it just had  
  
to do with Kate. It was in that moment that Alan fully realized that his little girl had grown up.  
  
After the show was over, J and Alan made their way backstage to congratulate Kate. Her face lit  
  
up like a candle when she saw her parents. Kate ran to J and gave her a massive hug. When she  
  
did the same for Alan, he whispered something in her ear. "You're all grown up," he said, his  
  
voice a mix of sadness and pride. "You don't really need me anymore."  
  
Kate drew back to give her father a warm smile and a kiss on the cheek. I'll always need you,  
  
daddy. And you too, mom," she added, smiling at J. Then her face alighted with a very familiar  
  
puckish grin and mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "Besides, you can't get rid of me that easily."  
  
***  
  
Kate was right. She did go off to college at the end of the summer (to the same university as  
  
Drew no less), but she was only an hour from home. Kate found this ideal, claiming that she  
  
needed to live on her own, but still wanted to be close enough to come home at least one  
  
weekend a month so she could get a decent meal.   
  
***  
  
Arm in arm, Alan and J gave Kate a final wave, then watched as she disappeared into the dorm  
  
building. They remained in place for awhile, gazing at the spot where they had last seen their  
  
youngest daughter. "Well…that's the last one…" J sighed reluctantly.  
  
"All of our kids are out on their own now..." Alan added.  
  
"Kate will be back, though. We'll see her a lot. She's still got for more years of school left." J  
  
pulled Alan closer, still hesitant to get in the car and drive away. "Tell me again why Coach isn't  
  
here?"  
  
"He's over at Boone's today. Those two are doing who knows what. He wants to show up here  
  
tomorrow and surprise Kate," Alan answered, resting his cheek against the side of J's head and  
  
kissing it. Gradually, J and Alan detached themselves and trudged into the car. The trip home was  
  
silent as both of them were immersed in memories. From changing Will's very first diaper to  
  
loading up the car to take Kate to college, it had been a long journey. The past 30 years of their  
  
life together had been filled with their children, their life. It was strange, now, there was no one to  
  
take care of (except for when Kate came home, and even that would not last forever).  
  
Alan pulled into the driveway, stopped the car, and got out with J. They both stopped and stared  
  
at the door, not quite ready to go inside yet. "An empty nest…" J murmured, contemplative.   
  
"It's going to be so quiet," Alan replied, debating about whether that was good or bad.   
  
"Peaceful quiet or empty quiet?" J asked, voicing Alan's thoughts.  
  
"I think it's a mix of both," he answered, coming to a decision.   
  
"It'll be strange…" J thought aloud. "We only had the house to ourselves for 10 months after  
  
getting married, before we had Will. That was such a short period of time, and it's been so  
  
long…"  
  
A sudden realization, followed by a sense of peace, settled upon Alan. He smiled lovingly at J and  
  
gave her hand a squeeze. "We've got each other. We'll do this together. The kids, the grandkids,  
  
Sunshine and Adrienne, Julius, and everyone, they'll be here. And it'll always be you and me.  
  
Forever."  
  
J returned Alan's smile and squeeze. "And beyond." The couple opened the door and walked  
  
through into their home.  
  
The End.  
  
Note from Kelly (aka Sunshine3)  
  
1. The whole thing started late one night over the summer…technically it was early one morning,  
  
I think. I'm so lucky to have such an awesome writer for a friend. (kora—awww *blushes*) Kora  
  
did most of the hard stuff, I just focused on the mushy, lovey-dovey stuff. I'm your classic diehard  
  
romantic. Now that it's over, I'm not sure what Kora and I will do during the sermons at church!  
  
Ha ha ha! Maybe she can help me work on my story, which hasn't been updated in forever. I  
  
know her favorite character was Kate, but mine would have to be Shay. My fellow  
  
debater…maybe there'll be a story or two about her in the future, after TSSOS is finished…who  
  
knows?  
  
Peace, Love, Pillows,  
  
Kelly 


End file.
